Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

35
6I >@ ?: B>H (EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I: -=:G6E>: 7>? +DJL : ,8=G::JL9K6G9 &JC8= >C9L:G@HIJ@ (EA:>9>C< (EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I: D<C>I>:K: :C ,NHI:B>H8=: -=:G6E>: $DGON7H@> "CHI>IJJI &6G?6 D77:A66G 'DK:B7:G

Transcript of Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

Page 1: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

��6I� >@� ?:�B>H�

(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7> ? �+DJL�!

!

!�:�,8=G::JL��9K6G9�&JC8=��������

���

�>C9L:G@HIJ@�(EA:>9>C<�(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:��D<C>I >:K:�:C�,NHI:B>H8=:�-=:G6E>:�

$DGON7H@>�"CHI > IJJI��

�&6G?6��D77:A66G�'DK:B7:G�� ����

Page 2: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

2!

&66>@:�(J7DI:G����6I� >@� ?:�B>H���=IIE�LLLNDJIJ7:8DBL6I8=�;:6IJG:�EA6N:G59:I6>AE6<:�K��*A�0@7�)'&���#:�@JHI�B:��?:�HJHI�B:�(B=:AHI�B:��<:GJHI�B:�#:�K6C<I�B:��K:GA6C<I�B:�(C:>C9><�DCI76C<I�B:�#:�GD:EI�B:��?:�=DDGI�B:�#:�G:9I�:C�K:GHIDDGI�B:� :ADD;�B:��7:GDD;�B:�/:GHI>@I�:C�K:G9DD;�B:�#:�69:BI�:C�A::;I�B:�,>99:GI�:C�7::;I�B:�/:GIGDJLI�B:��7:H8=DJLI�B:��AH�B:CH�:C�L::G=DJ9I�B:�/6C�7DO><:�9GDB:C��>:�DE�@DB:C�96<:C��:�::CO6B:�KG6<:C�/6C�:>C9><�<:AJ@��&:I�?:�@GJAA:C�6AH�C68=I�!D:�?:�EG66I�=D:�?:�A68=I�!D:�?:�HI:B�OD�9>8=I7>?��AH�::C�:C<:A�K:GO68=I�"C�B>?C�9GDB:C�9DDGHIGDB:C�(C:>C9><:�A::<I:�#:�G:BI�B:��?:�I:BI�B:�#:�GD:GI�:C�7:L::<I�B:�"@�B>H�?:��>@�B>H�?:�"@�<G>?E�?:��>@�<G>H�?:�"@�L>A�?:��7:HE::A�?:�"@�GD:G�:C�7:K::A�?:�(B�7>?�B:�I:�7A>?K:C�"C�9DC@:G:�C68=I:C�(B�C>:I�B::G�I:�HB68=I:C�'66G�?DJ�%66I�B:�ADH��

(=�>@�HBDDG�?:��7:KGDDG�?:�/:GADH�:C�K:GADDG�?:�0:<�C66G�::C�6C9:G:�EA:@�&66G�>@�=DDG�?:�(B6GB�?:��K:GL6GB�?:�"@�O>:�:C�>@�KD:A�?:�"@�66>�?:��>@�HIG::A�?:�"@�@CJ;;:A�:C�@GD:A�?:�#:�G>?9I�B:�7:<G>?EI�B:�/:GL6GI�:C�B>HA:>9I�B:�!:I�H8=G>@I�B:�HDBH�6;�!D:K::A�>@�DE�?:�A>?@�CJ�&>?C�<A>BA68=�B>?C�IG6C:C�&>?C�A>:;9:��B>?C�7:A:K:C�!:I�HE>?I�B:�K6C�6AA:H�$DB�=:AE�:C�7:KG>?9�B:��C�A66I�B:�ADH�"@�@6C�=:I�6AA::C�&66G�=DJ9�B:�K6HI�6AH�=:I�CD9><�>H�"C�<:968=I:C�:C�>@�K>C9�?:�"C�6AA:H�DB�B:�=::C�&66G�6A�9:C@�>@�HDBH��6I�=:I�OD�7:I:G�>H�$6C�>@�=:I�C>:I�=:AE:C��6I�>@�?:�HDBH�B>H��"@�@JH�?:��>@�HJH�?:�"@�9DD;�:C�>@�7AJH�?:�#:�7A>?;I�=::A�9>8=I�7>?�B:�&66G�>C�B>?C�=DD;9�GJHI�?:��

!!!!!!!!!!�

Page 3: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

3!

"C=DJ9� � � � � � � � � � � ����&DI>K6I>:� � � � � � � � � � � ��->I:A� � � � � � � � � � � � ��"CA:>9>C<� � � � � � � � � � � ����� +DJL�:C�K:GA >:HK:GL:G@>C<�� � � � � � � ��

��� �DC8:EI� ZGDJL[�:C�ZK:GA >:HK:GL:G@>C<[� � � � � ��� � /:GH8=>?C>C<HKDGB:C�K6C�GDJL� � � � � � �� �

� -=:DG>:SC�DK:G�GDJL��K:GH8=J>K>C<:C�>C�7::A9� � � � � �� �� (E�=:GHI:A�<:G>8=I:�GDJLI=:DG>:SC� � � � � �� � (E@DBHI�K6C�::C�I:<:C7:L:<>C<� � � � � � ��� �� (E�K::G@G68=I�:C�66CE6HH>C<�<:G>8=I:�GDJLI=:DG>:SC� � � � ��

�� +DJL�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�>BEA>86I>:H� � � � � � � ������ &6I8=�IJHH:C�=JAEK:GA:C>C<�:C�GDJL�KDGB� � � � ���� � �><:C�;JC8I>DC:G:C�K6C�9:�I=:G6E:JI� � � � � ������ -=:G6E:JI>H8=:�66C968=IHEJCI:C�K6CJ>I�C>:JL:�GDJLK>H>:H� � ����

�� (EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:��(-�� � � � � � ������ �:�<:H8=>:9:C>H�K6C�=:I�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I�L:G@:C�� � � ���

���� �B:G>@6� � � � � � � � ����� � �JGDE6� � � � � � � � ������� Z$GJ>H7:HIJ>K>C<[� � � � � � � ��

� � �:C�6C9:G:�@> ?@�DE�=JAEK:GA:C:C�� �� � � � � ��(EADHH>C<:C�J>IL:G@:C�K:GHJH�EGD7A:B:C�DEADHH:C� � � ��

��� 06I�DC9:GH8=:>9I�(-�K6C�6C9:G:�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�>CI:GK:CI>:H�� ����� +DJLI=:G6E>:� � � � � � � � � �

��� !J>9><:�7:=6C9:AHIG6I:<>:SC�7> ? ��<:8DBEA>8::G9:��GDJL� � �� � -D:E6H766G=:>9�(-�7> ? �GDJL� � � � � � ��

� �� 0:A@:�HIJ9>:H�O> ?C�:G�7:@:C9�I:C�66CO>:C�K6C�(-�6AH�� � ��� 7:=6C9:A>C<HHIG6I:<>:�7> ? ��<:8DBEA>8::G9:��GDJL��� � 06I� >H�:G�7:@:C9�DK:G�=:I�:;;:8I�K6C�(-�6AH�7:=6C9:A>C<H�� ��

HIG6I:<>:�7> ? ��<:8DBEA>8::G9:��GDJL���� �DC8AJH>:� � � � � � � � � � ������ '6LDDG9� � � � � � � � � � ���� "CI:GK>:L�$>B�"CHDD��:G<� � � � � � � � ���

+:;:G:CI>:H� � � � � � � � � � ����> ? A6<:��� � � � � � � � � � � ���> ? A6<:� � � � � � � � � � � ���

�!��

Page 4: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

4!

&DI>K6I>:��!:I�DK:GA>?9:C�K6C�9>K:GH:�B:CH:C�>C�ODL:A�B>?C�C67>?:�DB<:K>C<�6AH�7>CC:C�=DHE>8:�Z!:I��A6G6=D;?:[��L66G�>@�KG>?L>AA><:GHL:G@�K:GG>8=II:��7G68=I�B:�6;<:ADE:C�?66G�9>8=I�7>?�9:�9DD9��:�8DC;GDCI6I>:�B:I�=:I�HI:GK:CHEGD8:H�� =:I� K:GA>:H�� 9:� G:68I>:H�DE�=:I� DK:GA>?9:C�� 9:� OD:@ID8=I� K6C�C67:HI66C9:C�C66G� =:I�=:GK>C9:C� K6C� ::C� 76A6CH� >C� =:I� A:K:C� :C� =:I� 7:H:;� 96I� =:I� A:K:C� :>C9><� >H�� >H� =:;I><� :C� I:<:A>?@�>CHE>G:G:C9� �>K:GH:�B6A:C� KGD:<� >@�B>?�� L:G@:C9� >C� =:I� =DHE>8:�� 6;� =D:� =:I� 9:� C67:HI66C9:C� ODJ�K:G<66C�:C�L6I�D;�L>:�=:C�ODJ�=:AE:C�DB�=:I� A:K:C�ODC9:G�9:�C66HI:�L::G�K:G9:G�KDGB� I:�<:K:C�0:A@:�K>H>:H�K6C�GDJL�O>?C�:G�:><:CA>?@�:C�L:A@:�7:<:A:>9>C<HKDGB:C��$W7A:G�+DHH[� ;6H:C� BD9:A� L:G9� :C� LDG9I� L:G:A9L>?9� <:688:EI::G9� :C� <:7GJ>@I� 7>?� H8=DA>C<:C� K6C�B:9>H8=� E:GHDC::A� (D@� >C� =DHE>8:� Z!:I� �A6G6=D;?:[� L:G9� 9>I� BD9:A� 6AH� A:>9:C9� GDJLBD9:A� >C� 9:�76H>H8JGHJH� 7:HEGD@:C� "@� G:6A>H::G9:�B:��B:I� =:I� DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I� <:968=I:<D:9� >C�B>?C� 68=I:G�=DD;9�� 96I� >@� 6C9:GH� C66G� GDJLK:GL:G@>C<� L>A9:� @>?@:C� �B:I� B::G� 66C968=I� KDDG� K::G@G68=I� :C�EDH>I>:K:�:BDI>:��:C�7:HADDI�B>?C�:>C9L:G@HIJ@�$DGON7H@>� GDC9DB�9>I�DC9:GL:GE� I:�DG<6C>H:G:C�!:I�ODJ�::C� OD:@ID8=I�LDG9:C�C66G� HEDG:C� K6C�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I� 9:C@:C�:C�L:G@:C� >C� 9:� 8DCI:MI� K6C�GDJL���:�KDA<:C9:�68I>:H�=:7�>@�I>?9:CH�B>?C�OD:@ID8=I�DC9:GCDB:C��

• %>I:G6IJJGHIJ9>:�C66G�7:HI66C9:�:C�K:GC>:JL9:�BD9:AA:C�K6C�GDJL��• �DCI68I:C�K>6�HD8>6A:�B:9>6�B:I�E:GHDC:C�9>:�DE�9>I�<:7>:9�:ME:GI>H:�=:77:C�:C�B:�K:G9:G�

@DC9:C�7G:C<:C�>C�B>?C�OD:@ID8=I�C66G�K:GC>:JL:C9��:C�DE�HI:G@I:�:C�K::G@G68=I�<:76H::G9:�BD9:AA:C� K6C� GDJL�� D6� ,JH6C� G6N�� )6JA� &DG>HHDC�� �CC� !DD<=�� #D:A� ,>BDC� :C� +D7:GI�':>B:N:G�

• '6H8=DA>C<� I6K� GDJLK:GL:G@>C<� +>CD�'DDG9� K:GODG<I� ::C� )DHI6869:B>H8=:� 8JGHJH� DK:G�GDJL�:C�K:GA>:HK:GL:G@>C<�7>?�@>C9:G:C�"@�7:HADDI�9:O:�8JGHJH�I:�KDA<:C�>C�9:�K:GL68=I>C<�96I�9>I�C>:JL:�:C�66CKJAA:C9:� >CO>8=I:C�ODJ�DEA:K:G:C��:�8JGHJH�L6H� >CI:CH>:;�:C� >CI:G:HH6CI�!:I�GDJLEGD8:H�L:G9�DBH8=G:K:C�6AH�::C�JC>:@�EGD8:H�L:A@:�B:9:�7:E66A9�LDG9I�9DDG��

6 "C9>K>9J:A:�K::G@G68=I�E:GHDDCA>?@=:>9H@:CB:G@:C�7 ,DDGI�G:A6I>:�IDI�9:�DK:GA:9:C:HDDGI�<:=:8=I=:>9�8 &DB:CI�>C�9:�A:K:CHADDEDCIL>@@:A>C<�9 �DD9HDDGO66@B6C>:G�K6C�HI:GK:C�: �GDJL���JAIJJG�

�AH� J>I<6C<HEJCI� KDDG� =:I� =J>9><:� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� L:G@:C� EG:H:CI::G9:C� 9:� 9D8:CI:C� =:I�+DJLI6@:CBD9:A� K6C� 0DG9:C� ������� :C� =:I� �J6A:� EGD8:HBD9:A� K6C� ,IGD:7:� :C� ,8=JI�������� �:C� <D:9:� 66CKJAA>C<� DE� =:I� ;6H:C� BD9:A� K6C� $W7A:G�+DHH� &>?C� >CI:G:HH:� L6H�<:L:@I��

��:�DEA:>9>C<�(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�,NHI::B��:C� :9G6<HI=:G6E>:�=::;I�B>?C�K>H>:�DE�K:GA>:H�:C�K:G9G>:I�B:9:�G>8=I>C<�<:<:K:C��AA:G::GHI�9DDG�=:I�7:LJHILDG9>C<HEGD8:H�I:�K:GGJ>B:C�!:I�>H�=::A�O>CKDA�:C�CJII><�DB�C66HI�K:A:�A:K:CHKG6<:C�DD@��9:�I>?9�:C�GJ>BI:�I:�C:B:C�DB�C6�I:�9:C@:C�DK:G�9DD9��K:GA>:H�:C� GDJL��66GC66HI� >CHE>G::G9:�9:�DEA:>9>C<�B>?�� DB�C66HI� 9:�<:K:HI><9:� @69:GH�� DE� OD:@� I:� <66C�C66G�C>:JL:�>CO>8=I:C�DE�=:I�<:7>:9�K6C�GDJL�:C�K:GA>:H�-:CHADII:�>H�=:I�7D:>:C9�DB�6AH�(EADHH>C<H�<:G>8=I�-=:G6E:JI�B::G�O>8=I� I:�@G>?<:C�>C�9:�7:=6C9:A>C<H��DC�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�DE�9>I�<:7>:9�:C�9:�6A�66CL:O><:�:ME:GI>H:��2>:�=>:G�B>?C�:>C9L:G@HIJ@�KDDG�=:I�$DGON7H@>�"CHI>IJJI��::C�L::G<6K:�K6C�B>?C�OD:@ID8=I�C66G�9:�>CO:I�:C� 7GJ>@766G=:>9� K6C� 9:� (EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� �D<C>I>:K:� :C� ,NHI:B>H8=:� -=:G6E>:�� @DGIL:<�(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:��(-���7>?�GDJL���&6G?6��D77:A66G��'DK:B7:G� �����

Page 5: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

5!

->I:A���:�I>I:A� Z��6I� >@� ?:�B>H[� >H�DCIA::C9�66C�=:I�EG68=I><:�A>:9�K6C�&66>@:�(J7DI:G�2>?�K:GADDG�=66G�7:>9:�DJ9:GH�:C�B66@I:�O:A;�9>I�DCIGD:G:C9:�A>:9��L66G>C�O:�=66G�K:G9G>:I�:C�GDJLJ>I>C<:C�B:I�LDDG9:C�:C�::CKDJ9><:�ZEJG:[�<>I66GBJO>:@�L::G<::;I���:� I>I:A� Z��6I� >@� ?:�B>H[� >H�DD@�::C�K:GL>?O>C<�C66G�9:� A::BI:��9>:� >@�:GK66G��6AH�=:I�<66I�DB�@:CC>H��@JC9:�:C�:GK6G>C<:C�K6C�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�ID:E6HH>C<:C�>C�9:�H:II>C<�K6C�GDJL��K:G9G>:I�:C�9DD9�����:C�DC9:GOD:@�C66G�9:�ID:E6H766G=:>9�K6C�(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7> ? �+DJL�������������������������������������������

Page 6: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

6!

"CA:>9>C<��/GD:<� D;� A66I� @DBI� >:9:G::C� >C� 66CG6@>C<� B:I� =:I� DK:GA>?9:C� K6C� ::C� 9>:G76G:�� ::C� K6C� 9:�>C<G>?E:C9HI:�:C�K:G9G>:I><HI:�<:7:JGI:C>HH:C�>C�::C�B:CH:CA:K:C��:�9DD9�=DDGI�>BB:GH�7>?�=:I�A:K:C�:C�@DBI�;G:FJ:CI�KDDG�"C�':9:GA6C9�O>?C�KDA<:CH�=:I��:CIG66A�)A6C��JG:6J�KDDG�9:�,I6I>HI>:@�����,��>C�9:�::GHI:�=:A;I�K6C� ����GJ>B�������B:CH:C�DK:GA:9:C�+J>B�����E:G�96<�!:I�66CI6A�DK:GA>?9:CH�E:G�?66G� >C�':9:GA6C9�O6A��C66G�K:GL68=I>C<��9:�@DB:C9:�9:8:CC>6�9DDG�9:�K:G<G>?O>C<�K6C�9:�7:KDA@>C<�CD<�HI:G@�ID:C:B:C��AH�L:�66CC:B:C�96I�:A@:�DK:GA:9:C:�K>:G�C66HI:C�68=I:GA66I��96C�>BEA>8::GI�9>I�96I�7>?C6��������B:CH:C�6;<:ADE:C�=6A;?66G� I:�B6@:C�@G:<:C�B:I�9:�9DD9�K6C�::C�7:I:@:C>HKDAA:�C66HI:�(E� ?66G76H>H� >H�9>I� GJ>B���������:�66CE6HH>C<�66C�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C�K6C�::C�C66HI:�7A>?@I� IDI�:GCHI><:�EGD7A:B:C�I:�A:>9:C�7>?���DE�9:���C67:HI66C9:C�"C�':9:GA6C9�DC9:GK>C9:C�9JH�?66GA>?@H�B::G�96C�������B:CH:C�<GDI:�D;�A6C<9JG><:�EGD7A:B:C�C6�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C�K6C�::C�C66HI:���%>:;�:C� A::9��KG:J<9:�:C�K:G9G>:I�� A:K:C�:C�9DD9�2:�B6@:C�DC9:G9::A�J>I�K6C�DCH� A:K:C�!:I�7:<>C�K6C� =:I� A:K:C�� 9:� <:7DDGI:�� >H�B::HI6A� ::C� KG:J<9:KDA� :C� <D:9� KDDG� I:� 7:G:>9:C� :C� I:� 7:<:A:>9:C�EGD8:H� �66G:CI:<:C� >H� =:I� 6;H8=:>9� K6C� =:I� A:K:C�� =:I� HI:GK:C�� KDDG� K::A� B:CH:C� BD:>A>?@�7:HEG::@766G�0:�L>AA:C�A>:K:G�C>:I�C69:C@:C�DK:G�9:�:>C9><=:>9�K6C�=:I�A:K:C��A66I�HI66C�J>IHEG6@:C�D;� L:CH:C� B7I� DCH� :><:C� 6;H8=:>9� @:C766G� B6@:C� !:I� DB<66C� B:I� K:GA>:H� :C� K:G9G>:I� 9DDG�C67:HI66C9:C�>H�::C�JC>:@�E:GHDDCA>?@�EGD8:H�:C�6AH�<:KDA<�=>:GK6C�C>:I�::C9J>9><�066GDB�GDJLI�9:�RRC�::C�B66C9�:C� A>?@I�=:I�K:G9G>:I�96C�<GDI:C9::AH�68=I:G�O>8=� I:�=:77:C�<:A6I:C��:C� >H�::C�6C9:G�?6G:C�:C�?6G:C�7:O><�����DDG�9:�I>?9:C�=::C�O>?C�9>K:GH:�GDJLI=:DG>:SC�DBH8=G:K:C�"CO>8=I:C�>C�B:CH:A>?@:�:C�<:9G6<HB6I><:�EGD8:HH:C�:C�K>H>:H�DE�GDJL�O>?C�8DCI>CJ�66C�K:G6C9:G>C<�DC9:G=:K><�2:�LDG9:C�DC9:G�B::G�<:KD:9�9DDG� K:GC>:JL:C9:� >CO>8=I:C� :C� L66G9:C� �;=6C@:A>?@� K6C� 9:� K>H>:� DE� GDJL� O>?C� E6HH:C9:�7:=6C9:AHIG6I:<>:SC�DCIL>@@:A9�:C�ID:<:E6HI�!D:�ZK:G=DJ9:C[�GDJLI=:DG>:�:C�GDJL�I=:G6E>:�O>8=�DE�9>I�BDB:CI��0:A@:�O>?C�9:�=J>9><:�K:GC>:JL:C9:�K>H>:H�DE�GDJL�:C�E6HI�::C�K:G�C>:JL:C9:�KDGB�K6C�7:=6C9:A:C��OD6AH�7>?KDDG7::A9�9:�(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:��(-��966G�7>?���:�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�66CE6@� >H� 9:� A66IHI:� ?6G:C� >C�DE@DBHI�7>?� I=:G6E:JI:C�:C�7:<:A:>9:GH�7>CC:C�9>K:GH:� 8DCI:MI:C�� OD6AH� I=:G6E>:�� DC9:GL>?H�� 7:B>99:A>C<�� 8D68=>C<�� I:6B7J>A9>C<� :C�B6C6<:B:CI�/DDG� 9>K:GH:� EGD7A:B:C� A>?@I� 9:O:� 66CE6@� :;;:8I>:;� I:� O>?C� "C� ::C� HNHI:B6I>H8=� G:K>:L� C66G� 9:�:;;:8I>K>I:>I�K6C�(-�7>?�9>K:GH:�INE:�EGD7A:B:C�7>?�@>C9:G:C�:C�;6B>A>:H��0DD9H��:I�6A� �����7A>?@I�(-�B:I� C6B:� :;;:8I>:;� I:� O>?C� 7>?� >CI:GC6A>H:G:C9:� �K:GA:<:C=:>9�� 6C<HI�� 9:EG:HH>:�� O:A;L66G9:G>C<��O:A;7::A9��:C�:MI:GC6A>H:G:C9:��DEEDH>I>DC::A�<:9G6<��6<G:HH>:��HE>?7:A:C��EGD7A:B:C�7>?�@>C9:G:C�/6C�9:����DC9:GOD:@:C� >H�<::C�:C@:A�DC9:GOD:@�<:G:A6I::G9�66C� GDJL� ��:C�DEB:G@:A>?@:�8DCHI6I:G>C<��:�7GJ>@766G=:>9�:C�>CO:I�K6C�(-�6AH�>CI:GK:CI>:B:I=D9:��7>?�GDJL�>H�7A>?@766G�CD<�::C�DCDCI<DCC:C�I:GG:>C����>I� :>C9L:G@HIJ@� >H� ::C� OD:@ID8=I� C66G� ZL6I� 6A� >H [ � D;� ZL6I� ODJ� @JCC:C� L:G@:C[� 7> ? �DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I�L:G@:C�B:I�8A >SCI:C�B:I�::C�GDJLEGD7A:B6I>:@��"C�!DD;9HIJ@���LDG9:C�9:�<:7GJ>@I:�8DC8:EI:C�K6C�GDJL�:C�K:GA>:HK:GL:G@>C<�ID:<:A>8=I��6CKJAA:C9�LDG9:C�9:�K:GH8=>?C>C<HKDGB:C�K6C�GDJL�7:HEGD@:C�"C�!DD;9HIJ@� �LDG9:C�9>K:GH:�GDJLI=:DG>:SC�7:HEGD@:C��K:GH8=J>K>C<:C�>C�7::A9�!DD;9HIJ@���<66I�>C�DE�9:�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�>BEA>86I>:H�7>?�::C�K:G6C9:G:C9:�GDJLK>H>:�!DD;9HIJ@���<::;I�::C�@DGI:�ID:A>8=I>C<�DE�=:I�DCIHI66C�:C�9:�DCIL>@@:A>C<�K6C�=:I�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�9:C@:C�:C�L:G@:C�!DD;9HIJ@���7:H8=G>?;I�9:�=J>9><:�HI6C9�K6C�O6@:C�L6I�7:IG:;I�(-�:C�GDJL��>C>I>6I>:K:C�:C�:GK6G>C<:C��!DD;9HIJ@���KDGBI�9:�6;GDC9>C<�B:I�8DC8AJH>:H�:C�=:I�>CI:GK>:L�B:I�"CHDD�$>B��:G<�� ��������

Page 7: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

7!

��� +DJL�:C�K:GA >:HK:GL:G@>C<��

���� �DC8:EI� ZGDJL[�:C�ZK:GA >:HK:GL:G@>C<[���$:>GH:�:C�$JNE:G�� �����DBH8=G>?K:C�>C�9:�%6C9:A>?@:�+>8=IA>?C�+DJL�=:I�7:<G>E�ZGDJL�Z�6AH�Z�=:I�<:=::A�K6C� A>8=6B:A>?@:�� :BDI>DC:A:�� 8D<C>I>:K:�� HE>G>IJ:A:� :C� <:9G6<HB6I><:� G:68I>:H� 9>:� DEIG:9:C� C6� =:I�K:GA>:H�K6C�::C�E:GHDDC�B:I�L>:�::C�7:I:@:C>HKDAA:�G:A6I>:�7:HIDC9[��&:I�C6B:�9:�66CL:O><=:>9�K6C�::C�G:A6I>:�D;�76C9�B:I�9:�DK:GA:9:C:�>H�K6C�7:A6C<�2DC9:G�76C9��EDH>I>:;�D;�C:<6I>:;��B:I�9:�6C9:G�>H�:G�<::C� GDJL�BD<:A>?@��:O:�DBH8=G>?K>C<�LDG9I�B:I�::C�@A:>C:�66CE6HH>C<�8F�K:GGJ>B>C<� >C�9>I�L:G@HIJ@�<:=6CI::G9�+DJLG:68I>:H�IG:9:C�>C�B>?C�DEI>:@��KDDG��I>?9:CH�:C�C6�=:I�K:GA>:H�DE�+DJL�6AH�OD96C><�LDG9I�7G:9:G�<:EA66IHI�!D:L:A� GDJL�DD@�KDDG�@6C�@DB:C�7>?�K:GA>:H�K6C�::C�O66@�D;�9>C<��7:E:G@�>@�B:�IDI�GDJL�7>?�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C�K6C�::C�9>:G76G:���>?� GDJL� @6C� O>8=� ::C� 7G::9� H86A6� K6C� G:68I>:H� KDDG9D:C�� OD6AH� J>I� 9:� A6C9:A>?@:� G>8=IA>?C� �$:>GH:� ��$JNE:G�� �����7A>?@I���

• %>8=6B:A>?@:� G:68I>:H�� HA66EEGD7A:B:C� D;� ?J>HI� =NE:G68I>K>I:>I�� K:GB>C9:G9:� ::IAJHI� D;� ?J>HI�DK:G9G:K:C�K::A�:I:C��HE6CC>C<H=DD;9E>?C��:C:G<>:K:GA>:H��6;C6B:�K6C�=:I�H:@HJ:A:�K:GA6C<:C�D;� ?J>HI� ::C� ID:C6B:� K6C� 7:=D:;I:� 66C� >CI>B>I:>I� :C� H:@HJ6A>I:>I�� HDBH� <66I� 9:� GDJL:C9:�9:O:A;9:�HNBEIDB:C�:GK6G:C�6AH�9:�C66HI:�9>:�DK:GA:9:C�>H�

�• �BDI>DC:A:�G:68I>:H��K:G9G>:I��::CO66B=:>9��6C<HI��H8=JA9��:C�H8=66BI:<:KD:A:CH��6<G:HH>:��

B68=I:ADDH=:>9��E:HH>B>HB:��6C<HI><:�9GDB:C��B66G�DD@�DEAJ8=I>C<�D;�I:KG:9:C=:>9�DK:G�9:�J>I:>C9:A>?@:�<6C<�K6C�O6@:C�GDC9�=:I�A:K:CH:>C9:�

�• �D<C>I>:K:� G:68I>:H�� 8DC8:CIG6I>:K:GA>:H�� K:GB>C9:G9:� O:A;L66G9:G>C<�� K:GL6GG>C<� :C�

9:HDG>SCI6I>:�� 6B7>K6A:CI>:�� <:HE6CC:C=:>9�� 9L6C<B6I><� 9:C@:C�� EG:�D88JE6I>:� B:I� 9:�DK:GA:9:C:��=DE:ADDH=:>9��KG6<:C�C66G�O>C��>9:CI>;>86I>:��>9:6A>H:G>C<��O:A;BDDG9<:968=I:C�

�• +:68I>:H� K6C� :M>HI:CI>SA:� 66G9�� K:GA>:H� K6C� A:K:CHE:GHE:8I>:;�� O>CADDH=:>9�� :M>HI:CI>SA:�

::CO66B=:>9�� 66CI6HI>C<� :><:C� O>C<:K>C<H@69:GH�� K:GA>:H� K6C� :M>HI:CI>SA:� A:K:CHBD:9� :C� �AJHI�� :M>HI:CI>::A� <:9J>9:� H8=JA9�� K:GB>C9:G9� D;� K:GADG:C� O>8=I� DE� H6B:C=6C<� :><:C�A:K:CHK:G=66A��6C<HI�KDDG�:><:C�9DD9�

�• :9G6<HB6I><:� G:68I>:H�� <:6<>I::G9=:>9�� I:GJ<<:IGD@@:C=:>9�� OD:@<:9G6<�� K:GB>?9>C<� K6C�

E:GHDC:C�D;�H>IJ6I>:H��"C�9:� A>I:G6IJJG�LDG9I� C66HI� GDJL�DD@�K66@�<:HEGD@:C�DK:G� K:GA>:HK:GL:G@>C<� �GDJLEGD8:H��-:G:8=I�LDG9I�9DDG�GDJL:C9:C�DE<:B:G@I�96I�K:GA>:H�C>:I� I:�K:GL:G@:C�>H��B66G�6;K6A��=J>HKJ>A��L:A��:�I:GB�>BEA>8::GI� 96I� K:GA>:HA>?9:C� ::C� EGD8:H� >C� <6C<� O:I�� L66G9DDG� J>I:>C9:A>?@� =:I� K:GA>:H�LDG9I� K:GL:G@I���AHD;�:G�CDD>I�B::G�::C� �C:<6I>:K:��:BDI>:� >C�K:G76C9�B:I�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C�K6C�9:�9>:G76G:�B6<�O>?C�'>:IH� >H�B>C9:G�L66G�/:GA>:H:GK6G>C<:C�@JCC:C� >C�9:� ADDE�K6C� ?6G:C�7A>?K:C�D;�O:A;H�C6�::C�E:G>D9:�K6C�6;L:O><=:>9�HI:G@�I:GJ<@:G:C�/6C� 9:C� �:G<� � ����� K:GK6C<I� 9:� I:GB� K:GA>:HK:GL:G@>C<� � 9DDG� ZGDJL9G6<:C[� �>I� ZGDJL9G6<:C[��<:7:JGI� KDA<:CH� =:B� >C� K>:G� @6B:GH� �=J>O:C�K6C� =:I� =6GI�� >C� 9:� K>:G� O>C<:7>:9:C�� >CI>B>I:>I��DCIHE6CC>C<��>CHE6CC>C<�:C�A:K:CH7:H8=DJL>C<��AH�:G�>:IH�<:7:JGI�B:I�::C�9>:G76G:�96C�HIDGI:C�::C�D;�B::G9:G:�@6B:GH� >C�!::A�9:�B:CH�LDG9I�96C�<:G66@I�� A>8=66B��<::HI�:C�O>:A� ��:�B:CH�7:A6C9I�96C� >C� ::C� OD:@ID8=I� L66G7>?� DK:G� :C� L::G� C>:JL:� K:G=DJ9>C<:C�B:I�B:CH:C� LDG9:C� <:OD8=I� :C�<:KDC9:C��>I�ZGDJL9G6<:C[��>H�B::G�96C�::C�EGD8:H�'66HI�8DCIGDA:G:C�:C�66CHIJG:C��>H�:G�K66@�DD@�HEG6@:�K6C�::C�6C9:G:�@6CI��=:I�DC7:=::GH76G:��=:I�DCK:GL68=I:�:C�DCKDDGO>:C:��=:I�I:A@:CH�JC>:@:��:C�:><:C:��AH�B:CH� O>?C�L:�DCO:� G>8=I>C<� @L>?I� :C� O>?C�L:� >C� ::C� A6C9�66C<:@DB:C�L66GK6C�<::C�@66GI�7:HI66I��:C�I:GG6�>C8D<C>I6��

Page 8: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

8!

�A=D:L:A�ZGDJL9G6<:C[�::C�7:I:G:�7:C6B>C<�>H��LDG9I�>C�9>I�L:G@HIJ@�ID8=�9:�I:GB�ZK:GA>:HK:GL:G@>C<[��GDJLEGD8:H��66C<:=DJ9:C��::C�K::A<:7GJ>@I:�66C9J>9>C<�>C�9:�A>I:G6IJJG��

� �� /:GH8=>?C>C<HKDGB:C�K6C�GDJL���/>�GDJLEGD8:H�7:HI66I�C>:I��G�7:HI66I�<::C�JC>K:GH::A�EGD8:H�KDDG�./�GDJL:C9:�":9:G:�KDGB�K6C�K:GA>:HK:GL:G@>C<� >H� JC>:@� $:>GH:� � ����� DBH8=G>?;I� =:I� 7::A9� K6C� GDJL� 6AH� ::C� K>C<:G6;9GJ@� K6C�K:G9G>:I� ::C� IL::� B:CH:C�� DD@� C>:I� 7>CC:C� =:IO:A;9:� <:O>C�� :GK6G:C� GDJL� DE� ::CO:A;9:� L>?O:�+DJL:C�@6C�DD@�6A�K::A�::G9:G�7:<>CC:C�96C�C6�=:I�HI:GK:C�K6C�::C�9>:G76G:�!:I�@6C�7>?KDDG7::A9�6A�9>G:8I�C6�=:I�HI:AA:C�K6C�::C�;6I6A:�9>6<CDH:��0:�@JCC:C�::C�>C9:A>C<�B6@:C�C66G�K:GH8=>?C>C<HKDGB���

• �CI>8>E:G:C9:� GDJL� LDG9I� >C� 9:� G>8=IA>?C� +DJL� DBH8=G:K:C� 6AH� ::C� KDGB� 9>:� @6C�KDDG@DB:C�6AH�9:�I>?9�=:I�ID:A66I�DE�9:�9DD9�K6C�::C�9>:G76G:�I:�6CI>8>E:G:C��>I�@6C�:GK6G:C�LDG9:C�K6CJ>I�=:I�E:GHE:8I>:;�K6C�9:�E6I>SCI�:C�=:I�E:GHE:8I>:;�K6C�9>:<:C:�9>:�ODG<�9G6<:C�KDDG�=:B��;6B>A>:��KG>:C9:C��ODG<K:GA:C:GH���:�6;HI:BB>C<�>C�E:GHE:8I>:;C6B:�>H�::C�BD:>A>?@�EGD8:H�

• 'DGB6A:� GDJL�7:HI66I�C>:I�-D8=�LDG9I�9:O:�66C9J>9>C<� >C�9:� A>I:G6IJJG�K66@�<:7GJ>@I��:�K>H>:� DE� GDJL� >H� 66C� K:G6C9:G>C<� DC9:G=:K><� :C� LDG9I� >C� ::C� KDA<:C9:� E6G6<G66;� K:G9:G�J>I<:L:G@I��:�B::HI:� GDJL:C9:C� AJ@I�=:I�KDA<:CH�9:� G>8=IA>?C�+DJL�DB�C6�K:GADDE�K6C� I>?9�=:I�A:K:C�L::G�DE�I:�E6@@:C��

�&:C�KD:AI�O>8=�L::G�Z�<D:9[�:C�@6C�L::G�<:C>:I:C�K6C�6AA:966<H:�9>C<:C��&:C�@6C�DEC>:JL�9:�EGD7A:B:C�>C�=:I�A:K:C�66C��&:C�LDG9I�B>C9:G�>C�7:HA6<�<:CDB:C�9DDG�=:I�K:G9G>:I�

• :8DBEA>8::G9:�GDJL� >H�::C�7:<G>E��96I�CD<�KDADE� >C�9>H8JHH>:� >H��G�LDG9I�9DDG�9>K:GH:�8A>C>8>� �D6� >C� ':9:GA6C9�� )� �D:A:C�� ::C� EA:>9DD>� <:=DJ9:C� KDDG� 9:� :G@:CC>C<� K6C�<:8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL�6AH�EHN8=>H8=:�HIDDGC>H��>I�DB�::C�9J>9:A>?@:�6;76@:C>C<�B:I�6C9:G:�HIDDGC>HH:C�I:�B6@:C��OD6AH�9:EG:HH>:K:�HIDDGC>H��66CE6HH>C<HHIDDGC>H�:C�EDHI�IG6JB6I>H8=:�HIG:HH�HIDDGC>H��:�$:>?H:G�� K6C�9:C��DJI�:C��D:A:C� �������DC9:GH8=:>9:C�O:H�KDGB:C�K6C�<:8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL�� L66G7>?� C>:I� 9:� 9JJG� B66G� BC� 9:� >CI:CH>I:>I� K6C� 9:� GDJLG:68I>:H�7:E6A:C9�O>?C���� "8>5/8./�<9?A�

(CI@:C9:� GDJL� @6C� DCIHI66C� 6AH� C67:HI66C9:C� <::C�BD<:A>?@=:>9�B::G� =:77:C� <:=69�DB�9:�DK:GA:9:C:�I:�@JCC:C�O>:C��7K�C6�::C�K:G9G>C@>C<�D;�DC=:G@:C76G:�K:GB>C@>C<�7>?�::C�6JID� DC<:K6A��:�:BDI>:H� :C�<:968=I:C�� 9>:�B:I� =:I� DK:GA>?9:C� K6C�9:�9>:G76G:� I:�B6@:C�=:77:C��LDG9:C�HI:G@�DC9:G9GJ@I�

�� �2<983=-2/�<9?A��@/<6/81./�<9?A���>?� 8=GDC>H8=:� GDJL� 7A>?K:C� >CI:CH:� GDJLG:68I>:H� <:9JG:C9:� A6C<:G:� I>?9� 7:HI66C�� 7K�G:68I>:H�6AH�=J>A:C��HDB7:G=:>9�:C�6C<HI�LDG9:C�C>:I�B>C9:G�>C�>CI:CH>I:>I�

�� �/><+?7+>3=//<./�<9?A�$:CB:G@:C9� KDDG� <:IG6JB6I>H::G9:� GDJL� >H� 96I� 9:� C67:HI66C9:� I:A@:CH� DK:GL:A9><9�LDG9I� 9DDG� 9:� IG6JB6I>H8=:� =:G>CC:G>C<:C� 66C� 9:� DBHI6C9><=:9:C� GDC9� =:I� DK:GA>?9:C��L66G9DDG� 9:� GDJL:C9:� :G� C>:I� 66C� ID:@DBI� DB� =:I� K:GA>:H� I:� K:G9G6<:C� �:� 6C<HI� :C�E6C>:@�G:68I>:H�O>?C�HDBH�OD�<GDDI�96I�=:I�C6JL:A>?@H�BD<:A>?@�>H�DB�I:�GDJL:C�

� '3>1/=>/6./�<9?A�.>I<:HI:A9:�GDJL�>H�6�EG>DG>�6AI>?9�E6H�68=I:G6;�K6HI�I:�HI:AA:C�.>I<:HI:A9:�GDJL��@:CB:G@I�O>8=�9DDG�9:��7>?C6��6;L:O><:�G:68I>:H�>C�9:�::GHI:�I>?9�C696I�::C�9>:G76G:�>H��DK:GA:9:C�(E�::C�A6I:G�BDB:CI���C6�B66C9:C�D;�O:A;H�?6G:C��@DB:C�9:�G:68I>:H�6AHCD<���

Page 9: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

9!

�� �/=97+>3=//<./�<9?A��>?� <:HDB6I>H::G9:� GDJL� 7A>?;I� ::C� :BDI>DC:A:� G:68I>:� DE� ::C� K:GA>:H� J>I� %>8=6B:A>?@:�@A68=I:C�LDG9:C�L:A�<:J>I��B66G�7A>?@:C�C6�DC9:GOD:@�<::C�B:9>H8=:�DDGO66@�I:�=:77:C�

�� %C=>//7�1/,6955//<./�<9?A�$:CB:G@:C9�KDDG�HNHI::B�<:7AD@@::G9:�GDJL�>H�96I�9:�>C9>K>9J:A:�GDJLEGD7A:B6I>:@�K6C�::C�<:O>CHA>9�DK:G=::GHI�D;� >C�HI6C9�LDG9I�<:=DJ9:C�9DDG�EGD7A:B:C�DE�=:I�C>K:6J�K6C�=:I�HNHI::B��

/:GH8=:>9:C:�;68IDG:C�=:77:C�>CKAD:9�DE�9:�:GCHI�K6C�9:�GDJL@A68=I:C�"C�9:�A>I:G6IJJG�LDG9:C�DC9:G�6C9:G:�<:CD:B9�9:�66G9�K6C�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C��@:CB:G@:C�K6C�9:�C67:HI66C9:��DBHI6C9><=:9:C�>C�9:�C6HA::E�K6C�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C��OD6AH�9:�66CL:O><=:>9�K6C�HD8>6A:�HI:JC��:C�9:�66G9�K6C�9:�G:A6I>:�B:I�9:�DK:GA:9:C:���D:A:C���:�$:>?H:G���/6C�9:C��DJI��������� � � -=:DG>:SC�DK:G�GDJL��K:GH8=J>K>C<:C�>C�7::A9���:� L:I:CH8=6EE:A>?@:� 7:A6C<HI:AA>C<� KDDG� 9DD9�� 6;H8=:>9�� K:G9G>:I� :C� GDJL� >H� 9:� A66IHI:� 9:8:CC>6�ID:<:CDB:C��DC6CCD�� �����HEG::@I�>C�9>I�K:G76C9�DK:G�J�>2/�8/A�=-3/8-/�90�,/</+@/7/8>K��'66HI�::C�HI:G@�K:G6C9:G:C9:�:C�K:G<G>?O:C9:�B66IH8=6EE>?�A>?@I�9:�I>?9H<::HI�GJ>BI:�I:�8G:SG:C�KDDG�::C�6C9:G:�@>?@�DE�9DD9��6;H8=:>9��K:G9G>:I�:C�GDJL��:�B:CH�L>A�ODL:A� I>?9:CH�=:I� A:K:C�6AH�7>?�=:I�C69:G:C9:� A:K:CH:>C9:�9:� G:<>:�7A>?K:C�KD:G:C� "C�':9:GA6C9�C6B�DCA6C<H�::C�O::G�DJ9:�96B:�DE�:><:C�K:GOD:@��B66G�B:I�=JAE�K6C�=66G�ODDC��K::A�E>AA:C�IDI�O>8=�:C�7:S>C9><9:�DE�9:O:�B6C>:G�=66G�KDAIDD>9:�A:K:C� ::C�6GIH�L>A9:�=66G�K:GOD:@�>CL>AA><:C��:C�:I=>H8=:�9>H8JHH>:�DK:G�9:�<G:CO:C�K6C�ID:A66I766G=:>9�L6H�<:7DG:C�(K:G�=:I�GDJLEGD8:H�>H�K::A�C6<:968=I�:C�<:H8=G:K:C��66G�L66G�KGD:<:G�B:CH:C�KDA<:CH�9:�ID:C�<:A9:C9:�I=:DG>:SC�E6HH>:;�=:I�GDJL:C�BD:HI:C�DC9:G<66C�D;�9DDGHI66C�A>?@:C�=J>9><:�GDJL�I=:DG>:SC�B::G�L66G9:�I:�=:8=I:C�66C�6HE:8I:C�6AH�68I>K>I:>I��K::G@G68=I�:C�EDH>I>K>I:>I�7>?�GDJL��:C�DK:GO>8=I�K6C� GDJLI=:DG>:SC�<::;I�9:�K:GH8=J>K>C<�L::G�K6C�K:G6C9:G:C9:� >CO>8=I:C� >C�9:� ADDE�9:G�?6G:C��

�� (E�=:GHI:A�<:G>8=I:�GDJLI=:DG>:SC� ��+DJLBD9:AA:C�=699:C�66CK6C@:A>?@�::C� 638/+3<�K:GADDE�:C�L6G:C�<:G>8=I�DE�=:GHI:A��C6�=:I� ADHA6I:C�K6C�9:�9>:G76G:��:�GDJL:C9:�BD:HI�;6H:C�D;�I6@:C�9DDGADE:C��9>:�:8=I:G�C>:I�>C�KDA<DG9:�K6HIA6<:C��G�L6H�HEG6@:�K6C�>C9>K>9J:A:�GDJL6G7:>9����:�6AA:G::GHI:�GDJLBD9:AA:C���

• �G:J9��������DBH8=G>?;I�6AH�::GHI:�>C�O>?C�Z�-GDJL:G�JC9�&:A6C8=DA>6��+DJL�:C�&:A6C8=DA>:��::C� CDGB6A:� KDGB� K6C� GDJL� �-G6J:G�� :C� ::C� E6I=DAD<>H8=:� KDGB� K6C� GDJL� �&:A6C8=DA>:��/DA<:CH��G:J9�BD:HI� 9:�C67:HI66C9:� GDJL6G7:>9� K:GG>8=I:C�DB�K>6�=:I� K:GL:G@:C�K6C�=:I�K:GA>:H�6;HI6C9� I:�C:B:C�K6C�9:�K:GADG:C�9>:G76G:��DDG�O>8=�DE�9:O:�B6C>:G� I:�DCI=:8=I:C��ADHA6I:C�K6C�9:�G:A6I>:��ODJ9:C�:G�L::G�C>:JL:�G:A6I>:H�BD<:A>?@�LDG9:C�&D8=I�9>I�C>:I�AJ@@:C�96C�ODJ�=:I�K:G9G>:I�C66G�7>CC:C�HA66C�:C�@DBI�=:I�IDI�B:A6C8=DA>:��G:J9� L6H� ::C� :=C-29+8+6C>3-?=� :C� G>8=II:� O>8=� B:I� C6B:� DE� =:I� >C9>K>9J� B:I� O>?C�GDJLG:68I>:H�:C�9:�>BE68I�:GK6C�DE�O>?C�>CC:GA>?@�

�• %>C9:B6CC��������A:<I�DD@�9:�;D8JH�DE�=:I�>CC:GA>?@:�:BDI>DC:A:�EGD8:H�:C�=:I�ADHA6I:C�K6C�

�9:�G:A6I>:�6AH�:>C9EJCI�K6C�=:I�GDJLEGD8:H�!>?�7:H8=G::;�6AH�::GHI:�DE�=C=>/7+>3=-2/�A34D/�./�<9?A</+->3/=� K6C� ::C� <GDDI� 66CI6A� C67:HI66C9:C� !:A66H� L6H� O>?C� HI::@EGD:;� K6C� C67:�HI66C9:C�:G<�H:A:8I>:;��=:I�7:IGD;�B:I�C6B:�C67:HI66C9:C�9>:�::C�IG6JB6I>H8=�K:GA>:H�=699:C�B::<:B66@I� �<:A>:;9:C� L6G:C� DK:GA:9:C� 66C� ::C� 7G6C9�� I:GL>?A� C67:HI66C9:C� O:A;� DD@�

Page 10: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

10!

HA68=ID;;:G�K6C�9:�7G6C9�L6G:C���

• �DLA7N� ������� DC9:GOD8=I� >C� 9:� ?6G:C� [���� [��� :C� Z��� =:I� K:G76C9� IJHH:C� =:8=I>C<��H8=:>9>C<H6C<HI�:C�GDJL<:9G6<�!>?�O>:I� GDJL�6AH�::C�EGD8:H�96I�E:G� >C9>K>9J�K:GH8=>AI�B66G�L:A�::C�?83@/<=/6/�38=>38->3/@/�</+->3/�9:�=-2/3.381�>H��,6B:C�B:I�)6G@:H����� ��DCIL>@@:A9:�=>?�=:I�0+=/8�79./6���(/<,34=>/<381��=-295�/8�981/6990��� <:KD:A�K6C�K:G9DK>C<� ��/0>31�@/<6+81/8�/8�:<9>/=>��� � <:KD:A:CH�K6C�=:;I><:�LD:9:�:C�K:G9G>:I��/=9<1+83=+>3/�/8�A+8299:��� 9DDG9G>C<:C� K6C� 9:� G:6A>I:>I� 96I� DJ9:� E6IGDC:C� C>:I�

A6C<:G�K6C�ID:E6HH>C<�O>?C��I:GL>?A�:G�CD<�<::C�C>:JL:�KDDG=6C9:C�O>?C�

�/<=>/6��� � � � C>:JL:�E6IGDC:C�DB�=:I�A:K:C�KDDGI�I:�O:II:C��

• $W7A:G�+DHH� �������L6H�9:�::GHI:� 9>:� DC9:GOD:@� K:GG>8=II:� DC9:G� I:GB>C6A:� E6I>SCI:C�2>?�7:H8=G>?;I�=D:�HI:GK:C9:C��:C�A6I:G�DD@�GDJL:C9:C��::C�66CI6A�;6H:C�9>:C:C�I:�9DDGADE:C���"8>5/88381��� � 9:�E6I>SCI�688:EI::GI�C>:I�96I�=>?�I:GB>C66A�O>:@�>H�)9/./��� 9:� E6I>SCI� >H� LD:9:C9� DE� =:I� O>:@:� A>8=66B�� D;� DE� 6C9:G:C� �DD@�

B:9>8>��9>:�7A>?@766G�=:77:C�<:;66A9�DE�9:�::C�D;�6C9:G:�B6C>:G� +<-2+8./</8��� 9:�E6I>SCI�EGD7::GI��B:I� D9�D;�::C�6C9:G:�B68=I�I:�DC9:G=6C9:A:C�

DK:G�:MIG6�I>?9��/:</==3/��� 9:� E6I>SCI� KD:AI� O>8=� @A:>C� :C� K:GLDGE:C� >C� =:I� C69:G:C� K6C� =:I�

A:K:CH:>C9:��+8@++<.381��� � 9:�E6I>SCI�66CK66G9I�>C�9:O:�E:G>D9:�=:I�C69:G:C9:�A:K:CH:>C9:�

�• 0DG9:C[H� -6@:CBD9:A� ������� >H� <:76H::G9� DE� 9:� K:GDC9:GHI:AA>C<� 96I� ::C� H:G>:�

EHN8=DAD<>H8=:� I6@:C� BD:I� LDG9:C� DC9:GCDB:C� 0DG9:C� HEG::@I� C>:I� A6C<:G� DK:G� ;6H:C��B66G�K6C� GDJLI6@:C�L66G7>?�9:� GDJL:C9:�::C�68I>:K:� GDA�HE::AI� >C�=:I� GDJLEGD8:H�!>?�HAJ>I�=>:G7>?�66C�DE�9:�I=:DG>:�K6C��G:J9�96I�GDJL:C�6G7:>9�KG66<I���:�K>:G�GDJLI6@:C�O>?C����--/:>/</8�/8�</+63=/</8�96I�=:I�K:GA>:H�:8=I�<:7:JG9�>H��96I�9:�L:G:A9�CDD>I�B::G�OD�O6A�O>?C�6AH�9:O:�L6H��<@+</8�/8�?3>/8�K6C�9:�E>?C�K6C�=:I�K:GA>:H��+8:+==/8�66C�::C�A:K:C�:C�::C�DB<:K>C<�L66G>C�9:�DK:GA:9:C:�C>:I�A6C<:G�66CL:O><�>H��:�DK:GA:9:C:�::C�C>:JL:�:BDI>DC:A:�:6/5�1/@/8�/8�./�.<++.�@+8�2/>�6/</8�A//<�9::+55/8��C>:JL:�G:A6I>:H�L::G�66C<66C�

�!:I� GDJLI6@:CBD9:A� �-6H@��6H:9�&D9:A�� K6C�0DG9:C�HEG::@I� K::A�=JAEK:GA:C:GH�66C�:C� >H�966GDB� EDEJA6>G� !:I� BD9:A� 7G:C<I� 9J>9:A>?@� DC9:G� LDDG9:C� C66G� L:A@:� :>C9ID:HI6C9�J>I:>C9:A>?@�<:HIG::;9�BD:I�LDG9:C�7>?�::C�C67:HI66C9:��#J>HI�9>I�A66IHI:�@6C�DD@�A:>9:C�IDI�EGD7A:B6I>H:G>C<�:C�K:GDCIGJHI:�KG6<:C����=�2/>�A/6�19/.�97�D3-2� >/<?1� >/� ></55/8� 38�D3-2D/60�8+.+>�7/8�//8�.3/<,+</�2//0>�@/<69</8��*9?� 2/>� 83/>� ,/>/<� D348� 97�7//<� >/� =:</5/8� 9@/<� 1/@9/6/8=� <98.97�2/>� @/<63/=�� �=� 2/>�A/6�@/<=>+8.31�97�A//<�1/6345�++8�2/>�A/<5�>/�1++8���8D9@99<>��

� � (E@DBHI�K6C�::C�I:<:C7:L:<>C<�

��:C�B::G�.C8+73=-2/� >CK6AH=D:@�K>C9:C�L:� I:GJ<�7>?�$A6HH��,>AK:GB6C�:C�'>8@B6C��������B:I�=JC�GDJLI=:DG>:�DK:G�9:�Z��DCI>CJ>C<��DC9H[�:C�7>?�,IGD:7:�:C�,8=JI��������B:I�=:I��J6A�)GD8:HH�&D9:A�

Page 11: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

11!

2>?�B6@:C�DC9:G9::A�J>I�K6C�::C�I:<:C7:L:<>C<�9>:�DD@�@G>I>:@�J>I�DE�9:�GDJL6G7:>9�=NEDI=:H:��L:A@:�IL::�6HE:8I:C�>BEA>8::GI���

� &:C� BD:I� O>8=� 8DC;GDCI:G:C� B:I� =:I� K:GA>:H� :C� :G� O>8=� >C� >:9:G� <:K6A� B::� 7:O><=DJ9:C�0:I:CH8=6EE:A>?@� @6C� :8=I:G� C>:I� 66C<:IDDC9� LDG9:C� 96I� =:I� Z9DDGL:G@:C� K6C� K:GA>:H[��<:6HHD8>::G9�>H�B:I�7:I:G:�K:GA>:HK:GL:G@>C<�/6C�9:C��DJI��������:C�,8=JI����� ��IDC:C�9>I�66C� >C�=JC�DC9:GOD:@�.>I�9:�::GHI:�HIJ9>:�7A>?@I�96I�=:I�O>8=�7:O><=DJ9:C�B:I�K:GA>:H�LDG9I�<:6HHD8>::G9�B:I�B>C9:G�L:A7:K>C9:C��>?�9:�IL::9:�HIJ9>:�LDG9I�:G�<::C�G:A6I>:�<:KDC9:C�IJHH:C�=:I�J>I:C�K6C�:BDI>:H�:C�L:A7:K>C9:C�

�:� 76C9� B:I� 9:� DK:GA:9:C:� BD:I� 9DDG<:HC:9:C� LDG9:C�� E6H� 96C� @6C� 9:� C67:HI66C9:�C>:JL:� 76C9:C� 66C<66C� �>I� >H� ::C� B>HK6II>C<� �:� 76C9� B:I� 9:� DK:GA:9:C:� 7A>?;I� ::G9:G�7:HI66C�� 96C� 96I� 9:O:� LDG9I� 9DDG<:HC:9:C� !:I� @6G6@I:G� K6C� 9:� 76C9� O6A� BD<:A>?@� L:A�K:G6C9:G:C�

�0:A@:�C>:JL:�6HE:8I:C�7G:C<:C�9:O:�DC9:GOD:@:GH�C66G�KDG:C��

�• $A6HH��,> AK:GB6C�:C�'>8@B6C��������7>:9:C�::C�6AI:GC6I>:K:�K>H>:�>C�9:�I=:DG>:�DK:G�9:��

Z�DCI>CJ>C<��DC9H[�2>?�7:6G<JB:CI:G:C�B:I�9:O:�I=:DG>:��96I�9:�76C9:C�B:I�::C�DK:GA:9:C:�C>:I�E:GH:�K:G7GD@:C�=D:K:C�I:�LDG9:C�#J>HI�=:I�7:=DJ9:C�K6C�::C�76C9�@6C�::C�CJII><:�GDA�HE:A:C�7>?�=:I� GDJLEGD8:H�!:I�68=I:GA><<:C9:� >9::� >H�96I�9:�9DD9�L:A�=:I�:>C9:� >H�K6C�::C�A:K:C��B66G�<::C�:>C9:�=D:;I�I:�O>?C�K6C�::C�G:A6I>:��:�DK:GA:9:C:�@6C�ODL:A�>C�=:I�K:GA:9:C�6AH� >C� =:I� =:9:C� >C� :C><:GA:>� 7A>?K:C� 7:HI66C� �:� DCIL>@@:A>C<� K6C� 9:O:� G:A6I>:� >H� 7:LJHI��.C8+73=-2�:C�66C�K:G6C9:G>C<�DC9:G=:K><���

• ,IGD:7:�:C�,8=JI��������EG:H:CI:G:C�=JC��J6A�)GD8:HH�&D9:A��DD@�L:A�(H8>AA6I>DC�&D9:A�<:CD:B9�2>?�7:H8=G>?K:C�=:I�GDJLEGD8:H�6AH�::C�EGD8:H�K6C�DH8>AA6I>:��::C�6;L>HH:A>C<�IJHH:C�IL::� ;JC8I>DC:G:C9:� 8DE>C<� HNHI:B:C� �;><JJG� ��� 2>?� B6@:C� 966G7>?� DC9:GH8=:>9� IJHH:C�EG>B6>G:� HIG:HHDG:C� :C� H:8JC96>G:� HIG:HHDG:C� KDA<:C9� DE� ::C� K:GA>:H� )G>B6>G:� HIG:HHDG:C�=:77:C� I:� B6@:C� B:I� =:I� K:GA>:H� K6C� 9:� E:GHDDC� O:A;� �7K� <:KD:A:CH� GDC9� =:I� <:B>H��=:G>CC:G>C<:C�� K:GH8=>AA:C� >C� =:I� A:K:C� KDDG� :C� C6� =:I� DK:GA>?9:C�� ,:8JC96>G:� HIG:HHDG:C�=:77:C� I:� B6@:C� B:I� =:I� K:G6C9:G9:� A:K:C� DE� 9>K:GH:� C>K:6JH� �7K� ::C� C>:JL:� >9:CI>I:>I�8G:SG:C�� C>:JL:� GDAA:C� :C� K:G6CILDDG9:A>?@=:9:C� 66C<66C�� C>:JL:� K:G=DJ9>C<:C��K:G6C9:G>C<:C� DE� L:G@� :I8�� �:� GDJL:C9:� G>8=I� O>8=� >C� 6;L>HH:A>C<� DE� 9:O:� IL::� INE:H�HIG:HHDG:C��IJHH:C�Z<:G>8=I�O>?C�DE�K:GA>:H[��K:GA>:H�DG>SCI6I>:��:C:GO>?9H�:C�Z::C�<:G>8=I=:>9�DE�=:GHI:A[��=:GHI:A�DG>SCI6I>:��6C9:GO>?9H�

�(/<63/=�9<3G8>+>3/�>H�=:I�DB<66C�B:I�9:�G:6A>I:>I�K6C�=:I�K:GA>:H��:�GDJL:C9:�<66I�9:��8DC;GDCI6I>:�66C��:G�7:LJHI�B::�7:O><�O>?C��:GDK:G�EG6I:C��=:I�:G@:CC:C�K6C�=:I�K:GA>:H����/<=>/6� 9<3G8>+>3/� >H� DB<66C�B:I� 9:� G:6A>I:>I� K6C�=:I� A:K:C�96I� K:G9:G� <66I�� 9DDG� K:GB>?9>C<�K6C�=:I�K:GA>:H��O>8=O:A;�DEC>:JL�A:G:C�@:CC:C��68I>:;�>CK:HI:G:C�>C�L:G@�:C�HD8>66A�A:K:C��=:I�A:K:C�K:G9:GO:II:C���A@:�GDJL:C9:�O6A�9>I�DH8>AA6I>:EGD8:H�DE�::C�:><:C�B6C>:G�KDGB<:K:C��:A6C<G>?@� >H� L:A� 96I� 7:>9:� INE:� HIG:HHDG:C� >C� =:I� GDJLEGD8:H� 66CL:O><� O>?C� :C� :A@66G�KDA9D:C9:�6;L>HH:A:C� "C9>:C�B:C� I:� K::A� >C�::C�K6C�7:>9:�EDA:C� K6HI� 7A>?;I� O>II:C�LDG9I� =:I�GDJL:C�L:A�EGD7A:B6I>H8=�

���

Page 12: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

12!

��

�><JJG��� ���J6A�)GD8:HH�BD9:A��,IGD:7:��&���,8=JI�!���������

�:HDC96C@H� 7A>?K:C� K::A� GDJL7:<:A:>9>C<:C� :C� GDJL� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� 68I>K>I:>I:C� J>I<66C� K6C� 9:�K:GDC9:GHI:AA>C<� 96I� 9:� @:GC� K6C� EGD7A:B6I>H8=:� GDJL� <:A:<:C� >H� >C� =:I� DCKDA9D:C9:� 9DDGL:G@I�=:77:C�K6C�=:I�K:GA>:H��/6C�9:C��DJI���D:A:C��9:�$:>?H:G����������:� A66IHI:� ?6G:C� B66@I� =:I� 9:C@:C� DK:G� K:GA>:H� :C� GDJL� ::C� HI:G@:� DCIL>@@:A>C<� 9DDG� ':>B:N:G�� �� ��HEG::@I�>C�9>I�K:G76C9�DK:G�::C�Z�E6G69><B6H=>;I[��

�� (E�K::G@G68=I�:C�66CE6HH>C<�<:G>8=I:�GDJLI=:DG>:SC���:�DCIL>@@:A>C<�K6C�::C�EDHIBD9:GC:��8DCHIGJ8I>K>HI>H8=:�GDJLI=:DG>:��':>B:N:G�� ����� �� �� ����� ����� 9::9� O>?C� >CIG:9:� �:O:� I=:DG>:� 7:C69GJ@I� =:I� 7:A6C<� K6C� 7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<� :C�7:I:@:C>H8DCHIGJ8I>:��DDG�=:I�K:GA>:H�K6C�::C�<:A>:;9:�LDG9I�9:�8DCI>CJTI:>I�K6C�=:I�A:K:CHK:G=66A�:C�9:�H6B:C=6C<�IJHH:C�=:I�K:GA:9:C�:C�9:�ID:@DBHI�K:GHIDDG9��

• ':>B:N:G��� �����HI:AI�96I�9:�7:I:@:C>H�9>:�L>?�<:K:C�66C�DCH�:><:C�A:K:CHK:G=66A�9DDG�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C� K6C� ::C� 9>:G76G:� K:G6C9:GI� !>?� 7:H8=G>?;I� =:I� EGD8:H� K6C� 7:I:@:C>H<:K>C<��J7/+83817+5381K��6AH�=:I� G:HJAI66I� �K6C� ZH:A;�C6GG6I>K:[�� L+8�9@/<+<-2381�-9183>3/@/�+00/->3@/�,/2+@39<+6� =><?->?</� >2+>� 9<1+83=3D/=� >2/� J73-<9�8+<<+>3@/=K� 90� /@/<C.+C� 630/� 38>9� +� � J7+-<9�8+<<+>3@/K� >2+>� -98=963.+>/=� 9?<� =/60�?8./<=>+8.381�� /=>+,63=2/=� 9?<� -2+<+->/<3=>3-� <+81/� 90�/79>398=�+8.�19+6=��+8.�1?3./=�9?<�:/<09<7+8-/=�98�>2/�=>+1/�90�>2/�=9-3+6�A9<6.M���E������DDG� �::C�=:;I><:�<:7:JGI:C>H��7>?KDDG7::A9�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C�K6C�::C�9>:G76G:��LDG9I�9>I� Z� H:A;�C6GG6I>K:[��6AH�9DDG�::C�66G97:K>C<�<:IGD;;:C��:�OD:@ID8=I�C66G�=:I�DEC>:JL�7:I:@:C>H�<:K:C�K:GADDEI�K>6�9>K:GH:�@6C6A:C��::C�EG6@I>H8=:��!D:�>H�B>?C�<:A>:;9:�DK:GA:9:C����::C�G:A6I>DC:A:��0>:� 7:C� >@�� ODC9:G� B>?C� :8=I<:CDDI��� :C� HE>G>IJ:A:� D;� :M>HI:CI>SA:� �066GDB� =::;I� D9� 9>I�A6I:C� <:7:JG:C��� .>I� DC9:GOD:@� ��JGG>:G�� !DAA6C9� �� ':>B:N:G�� ����� 7A>?@I� 96I� KDDG6A�C67:HI66C9:C� B:I� <:8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL� <::C� � C>:JL:� 7:I:@:C>H� 66C� =JC� A:K:C� @JCC:C�<:K:C� -=:G6E:JI>H8=� <:O>:C� EA:>I� ':>B:N:G� KDDG� ::C� K:>A><:� :C� DC9:GHI:JC:C9:� G:A6I>:�L66G7>?�:G�<D:9�:C�>CI:CH�<:AJ>HI:G9�LDG9I�C66G�9:�GDJL:C9:��HE:8I:C�9>:�KDA<:CH�':>B:N:G�DC9:G9::A� ODJ9:C� BD:I:C� J>IB6@:C� K6C� ::C� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� 7:=6C9:A>C<� O>?C�� )HN8=D��:9J86I>:� DK:G� K:GA>:H�� =:I� 7:KDG9:G:C� K6C� =:I� K:GI:AA:C� K6C� =:I� :><:C� K:G=66A� 9DDG� 9:�GDJL:C9:��=:I�:MEADG:G:C�K6C�HE>G>IJ:A:�:C�:M>HI:CI>SA:�7:=D:;I:C��=:I�J>I:C�K6C�:BDI>:H�:C�<:7GJ>@� B6@:C� K6C� 7:HI66C9:� @G68=I:C� :C� =JAE7GDCC:C�� =:I� ID:E6HH:C� K6C� 9>K:GH:�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� I:8=C>:@:C� DB� 8A>SCI:C� I:� =:AE:C� DEC>:JL� 7:I:@:C>H� I:� <:K:C� 66C� =JC�K:G6C9:G9:�A:K:CHK:G=66A�:C�L:G:A97::A9��

��

Page 13: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

13!

• !DD<=:�� �����HI:AI�96I�:G�CD<�K::A6A�K6CJ>I�::C�>C9>K>9J:A:�>CK6AH=D:@�<:@:@:C�LDG9I�C66G�K:GA>:H�:C�GDJL�2>?�DEI::GI�KDDG�::C�B::G�HNHI::B<:G>8=I:�66CE6@��B:I�B::G�66C968=I�KDDG�9:�K:A:�KDGB:C�K6C�GDJL�+DJL�>H�C>:I� >:IH�L6I� ?:�6AA::C�=:7I��=:I�HE::AI�O>8=�DD@�6;�IJHH:C�B:CH:C�!DD<=:�� �����DBH8=G>?;I�9>I�6AH�KDA<I�� J /8�<9?A>�83/>� 38�//8�@+-?H7�7++<� 38�//8�8/>A/<5�@+8�@/<,38.381/8��38�//8�1/D38��//8�<?37/</�0+7363/��//8�=+7/86/@381�/8�//8�-?6>??<���/� 38.3@3.?/6/� <9?A� A9<.>� 7/./� 1/@9<7.� .99<� ./� -98>/B>� /8� 2//0>� 995� //8� /00/->� 9:� ./�0+7363/�K��:���

�• �>K:GH:�DC9:GOD:@:GH�7G:C<:C�=:I�CJI�K6C�EDH>I>:K:�<:KD:A:CH�7>?�GDJL�C66G�KDG:C��

�DC6CCD� � �����DBH8=G>?;I� >C� O>?C�7D:@� \�-=:�DI=:G� H>9:�D;�,69C:HH]�9:�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�:C�K::G@G68=I� K6C� B:CH:C� DB� B:I� =:I� K:GA>:H� K6C� ::C� 9>:G76G:� DB� I:� <66C� !>?� DBH8=G>?;I�K::G@G68=I� 6AH� J./� 791/63452/3.� 97� </6+>3/0� /@/8A3-2>31/� /8� 1/D98./� 83@/+?=� @+8�:=C-296913=-2� /8� 63-2+7/6345� 0?8->398/</8� >/� ,634@/8� ,/29?./8� 8+� ./� ,699>=>/66381� ++8� 2/>�@/<63/=�@+8�//8�1/63/0./K��!>?�HI:AI�96I�=>:G7>?�9:�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�:C�K::G@G68=I�K6C�B:CH:C��9>:�B:I�::C�=:;I><:�<:7:JGI:C>H�DB�BD:I:C�A:G:C�<66C��?6G:CA6C<�>H�DCI@:C9�:C�DC9:GH8=6I�(D@�@6C�=:I�GDJLEGD8:H�EDH>I>:K:�<:KD:A:CH�B:I�O>8=�B::7G:C<:C�OD6AH�DEAJ8=I>C<�:C�7A>?9H8=6E���G:9:G>8@HDC� � ����� 7:C69GJ@I� DD@� 9:� @G68=I� K6C� EDH>I>:K:� :BDI>:H� 7>?� K:G6C9:G>C<H�EGD8:HH:C�2>?�IDDC9:�66C�96I�EDH>I>:K:�:BDI>:H�D;�7:A:K>C<:C�C>:I�6AA::C�DE�O>8=O:A;�6A�EG:II><�O>?C��B66G�DD@�@JCC:C�=:AE:C�DB� >:B6C9�9>8=I:G�7>?�O>?C�9D:A� I:�7G:C<:C�)DH>I>:K:�:BDI>:H�O>?C� 9JH� C>:I� 6AA::C� ::C� >C9>86I>:� K6C� <D:9� ;JC8I>DC:G:C� �� B66G� 9G6<:C� DD@� 7>?� 66C� <D:9�;JC8I>DC:G:C��G:9:G>8@HDC�L:G@I:�=66G�K>H>:�J>I� >C�9:� Z�GD69:C�6C9��J>A9�-=:DGN�D;�)DH>I>K:��BDI>DCH[�/:G7G:9:C� �J>9�,<9+./8K�� >H�::C�K:GL>?O>C<�C66G�=:I� ;:>I�96I�B:CH:C�9>:�EDH>I>:K:�:BDI>:H� :GK6G:C�� DE:CHI66C� KDDG� ::C� 7G:9:G� HE:8IGJB� K6C� 8D<C>I>:H� :C� KDDG� ::C� 7G:9:G�=6C9:A>C<HG:E:GID>G:�(E�9:O:�B6C>:G�DCIHI66C�:G�DD@�B::G�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�DB�9:�EDH>I>:K:�7:A:K>C<� J>I� I:� 7DJL:C� �J>9� ,?36.K�� /66@� O>?C� EDH>I>:K:� :BDI>:H� @DGI9JG:C9� />6� =:I�B:8=6C>HB:�K6C�K:G7G:9:C�:C�J>I7DJL:C�@6C�:G�::C�HE>G66A:;;:8I�IDI�HI6C9�@DB:C�L66G9DDG�:G�DD@�DE�A6C<:G:�I:GB>?C�EDH>I>:K:�<:KDA<:C�DCIHI66C��Z:H86A6I>:[��" IO=6@N� :C� %>EH8=>IO� � ����� 7:H8=G>?K:C� >C� =JC� DC9:GOD:@� =:I� 7:A6C<� K6C� =DDE� 6AH� L� +8�+->3@/�:<9-/==�90�</-<?3>381�=></81>2�2+8.�038.381�=96?>398=M��:�����.>I�9:�DC9:GOD:@HG:HJAI6I:C�K6C�'DA:C�!D:@H:B6�� �����C66G�9:�8DE>C<B:8=6C>HB:C�K6C�GDJL:C9:C�� 7A>?@I� 96I� =:I� K>C9:C� K6C� ::C� EDH>I>:K:� 9>B:CH>:� C6� =:I� K:GA>:H� IDI� 6C9:G:�8DE>C<HI>?A:C�A:>9I��6CC>C@�8DC8AJ9::GI�96I�=:I�9JH�6AH�I=:G6E:JI�<D:9�>H�DB��C66HI�=:I�<:K:C�K6C�:G@:CC>C<�:C�KG6<:C�C66G�8DE>C<�I:�HI:AA:C��C6�:C><:�I>?9�I:�KG6<:C�L:A@:�EDH>I>:K:�9>C<:C�>:B6C9�=::;I�7:B:G@I��:C@�966G7>?�66C��"@�7:C�7A>?�B:I�9:�HI:JC�K6C�B>?C�@>C9:G:C_�

�• -:9:H8=>� :C��6A=DJC� � ����� =:77:C� 66C968=I� KDDG�BD<:A>?@=:9:C� IDI� <GD:>� KDA<:C9� DE�

K:GA>:H� '67:HI66C9:C� <:K:C� 66C� 96I� C6� K:GADDE� K6C� I>?9� 9:� HIG>?9�B:I� =:I� K:GA>:H� =:C� DD@�K:G9:G�=::;I�<:=DAE:C�>C�=:I�A:K:C��B::G�L66G9:G>C<�KDDG�=:I�A:K:C��::C�<GD:>�>C�E:GHDDCA>?@:�HI:G@I:��=:I�O>:C�K6C�C>:JL:�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�KDDG�=:I�:><:C�A:K:C�:C�HDBH�::C�HE>G>IJ:A:�<GD:>��

• �C9G:6H�� ,� :C� �C9G:6H�� �� ������� �� �� DCI9:@I:C� >C� =JC� DC9:GOD:@� 96I� GDJL:C9:C�ZHJ88:HKDA[� DB� @JCC:C� <66C� B:I� =JC� K:GA>:H� 9DDG� B:CI6A:� 66CL:O><=:>9� K6C� DK:GA:9:C�<:A>:;9:C�I:�8G:SG:C�2>?�DC9:G=>:A9:C�DE�9:O:�L>?O:�8DCI68I�B:I�=JC�<:A>:;9:C��:C�G:A6I>:�DE�EJJG� B:CI66A� C>K:6J� ,I:K:� :C� �DCC>G6:� BD:9><9:C� C67:HI66C9:C� 66C� DB� ?J>HI� EDH>I>:K:�:BDI>DC:A:�8DCC:8I>:H� I:�B6@:C�:C� I:�7:=DJ9:C�B:I�=JC�DK:GA:9:C�9>:G76G:�2>?�<:7GJ>@:C�9:� I:GB� Z G>:;� +:HDAJI>DC� )GD8:HH[� !:9I@:� � ����� HAJ>I� >C� =66G� EGD:;H8=G>;I� =>:G7>?� 66C� :C�DC9:GOD8=I� ::C�B6C>:G� DB� 9:� =:G>CC:G>C<� 66C� 9>:G76G:C� A:K:C9� I:� =DJ9:C�� Z+:B:B7:G>C<�(JG� %DK:9� (C:H[� �:C� KDDGIO:II>C<� K6C� ::C� B:CI6A:� G:A6I>:� >EK� =:I� HIDEO:II:C� :GK6C��DC96C@H�;NH>:@�<:B>H�

���

Page 14: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

14!

,6B:CK6II:C9��IG:;;:C�L:�7>?�9:O:�C>:JL:�K>H>:H�DE�GDJL�9:�KDA<:C9:�6HE:8I:C�66C���)AJG>;DGB>I:>I�>C�GDJLG:68I>:H���:� C>:JL:� K>H>:H� DE� GDJL� 7:C69GJ@@:C� B::G� 9:� <GDI:� K:GH8=:>9:C=:>9� >C� CDGB6A:� :C� JC>:@:�GDJLG:68I>:H� ":9:G� >C9>K>9J��<:O>C�:C� ;6B>A>:�:K:C6AH� >:9:G:�<:B::CH8=6E�:C� >8JAIJJG�<::;I� 6C9:G:�7:I:@:C>HH:C�66C� K:GA>:H�:C�<66I� DE�::C�:><:C�B6C>:G� DB�B:I� K:GA>:H� ��DC6CCD���$6AIB6C�� �����!DD<=:�� ����� ��������6CE6HH>C<�66C�=:I�K:GA>:H��"C�9:O:�C>:JL:�K>H>:�HEG::@I�B:C�C>:I�B::G�DK:G� Z�K:GL:G@>C<[�D;�::C�Z�66CK66G9>C<[�K6C�=:I�K:GA>:H��B66G� ::G9:G� DK:G� ::C� Z� 66CE6HH>C<[� 66C� =:I� K:GA>:H� �6I� 7>CC:C� 9:O:� 66CE6HH>C<� =:I� KDDG� 9:�GDJL:C9:�=:AE:C9:�@6C�O>?C�DB�::C�HNB7DA>H8=:�76C9�B:I�9:�DK:GA:9:C:�I:�7:=DJ9:C�7A>?@I�J>I�=:I�BD9:A�K6C�$A6HH��,>AK:GB6C�:C�'>8@B6C��:�L>HH:A:C9:�<:G>8=I=:>9�IJHH:C�=:I�K:GA>:H�:C�=:I�K:G9:G:�A:K:C�@:CB:G@:C�KDA<:CH�,IGD:7:�:C�,8=JI��������=:I�GDJLEGD8:H���:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<�:C�7:I:@:C>HG:8DCHIGJ8I>:�7>?�K:GA>:H���>?� G:8:CI:G:� K>H>:H�DE� GDJL�LDG9I� K:GB>?9>C<�K6C�=:I� K:GA>:H�C>:I�6AH�::C�C:<6I>:;� HDDGI� K:G9G>C<>C<�<:O>:C��>CI:<:C9::A�=:I�>H�EDH>I>:;�DB�=:I�K:G9G>:I�I:�9DH:G:C�:C�B66@I�=:I�B6@@:A>?@:G�DB�DEC>:JL�9:�9G669�K6C�=:I�A:K:C�DE�I:�C:B:C��:�7:I:@:C>H�9>:�::C�GDJL:C9:�<::;I�66C�K:GB>?9>C<�@6C�9JH�DD@�CJII><�O>?C�!DD<=:�� �����HI:AI�96I�7:I:@:C>HH:C�=:I�EGD9J8I�O>?C�K6C�DCO:�>CI:G68I>:H�B:I�6C9:G:C��9:�B66IH8=6EE>?��8JAIJJG�:C�I>?9H<::HI�L66G>C�L:�A:K:C��C:GO>?9H�LDG9:C�76H>H6HHJBEI>:H�6AH�O:A;7::A9�:C� L:G:A97::A9� HIJ@� <:HA6<:C� 9DDG� ::C� K:GA>:H� �G� >H� ::C� K:GHIDG>C<� K6C� 9:� 8DCI>CJTI:>I� K6C� =:I�A:K:CHK:G=66A� :C� 9:� H6B:C=6C<� IJHH:C� =:I� K:GA:9:C� :C� 9:� ID:@DBHI� �C9:GO>?9H� 8DCHIGJ:G:C� DD@�;6B>A>:H�7:I:@:C>HH:C�C6�=:I�K:GA>:H�K6C�::C�;6B>A>:A>9���6C968=I�KDDG�8DBE:I:CI>:�:C�K::G@G68=I�7>?�GDJL:C9:C���DC6CCD� � ����� EA:>I� KDDG� ::C� 6C9:G:� @>?@� DE� 9:� GDJL:C9:� �:C� C67:HI66C9:� =::;I� C66HI� K::A�K:G9G>:I�DD@�:><:C�8DBE:I:CI>:H�DB�O>?C� A:K:C�L::G�DE� I:�E6@@:C��:�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�:C�K::G@G68=I�K6C�B:CH:C�O>?C�I:C�DCG:8=I:�?6G:CA6C<�DCI@:C9�:C�DC9:GH8=6I���6C968=I�KDDG�Z�;6B>AN�G:H>A>:C8:[�7:C69:G>C<�!DD<=:� � ����� EA:>I� KDDG� ::C� J>I7G:>9>C<� C66G� ::C� Z;6B>AN� G:H>A>:C8:[� 7:C69:G>C<�� L66G7>?� C66HI�66C968=I� KDDG� 9:� :><:C� 8DBE:I:CI>:H� DD@� K::G@G68=I><:� :A:B:CI:C� >C� =:I� ;6B>A>:HNHI::B� LDG9:C�66C<:L:C9����6C968=I�KDDG�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�IDI�<GD:>�KDA<:C9�DE�K:GA>:H��':>B:N:G�� �����:C�0DGIB6C�� �����8DC8AJ9:G:C�J>I�DC9:GOD:@�96I�GDJL:C9:C�:C�;6B>A>:H�>C�GDJL�C6�K:GADDE�K6C�I>?9�K:GI:AA:C�96I�9:�HIG>?9�B:I�=:I�K:GA>:H�=:C�DD@�K:G9:G�=::;I�<:=DAE:C�>C�=:I� A:K:C�2>?�:GK6G:C�<GD:>� DE�9>K:GH:� KA6@@:C��B::G�L66G9:G>C<� KDDG� =:I� A:K:C�� <GDI:G:�E:GHDDCA>?@:� HI:G@I:�� =:I�O>:C� K6C� C>:JL:� BD<:A>?@=:9:C� KDDG� =:I� :><:C� A:K:C�� >CI:CH:G:� G:A6I>:H� D;� ::C� <GD:>� 7>CC:C� ::C�HE>G>IJ:A:�DCIL>@@:A>C<���6C968=I�KDDG�B:CI6A:�G:A6I>:�B:I�9:�DK:GA:9:C:�+:A6I>:H� 9>:� ;NH>:@� :>C9><:C�� 9DDG� =:I� DK:GA>?9:C� K6C� ::C� 9>:G76G:�� @JCC:C� DE� B:CI66A� C>K:6J�KDDGI<:O:I� LDG9:C� !:I� \A:K:C9]� =DJ9:C� K6C� 9:� 9>:G76G:� 9DDG� 9:� C67:HI66C9:� @6C� =:I� DEC>:JL�DEE6@@:C�K6C�=:I�A:K:C�7:HED:9><:C���6C968=I�KDDG�=:I�7:A6C<�K6C�EDH>I>:K:�:BDI>:H�:C�=DDE�7>?�GDJL���>?� GDJL:C9:C� O>?C� C:<6I>:K:� :BDI>:H� DK:GL:<:C9� 66CL:O><� &DB:CI:C� K6C� EDH>I>:K:� :BDI>:H�LDG9:C�HC:A�6AH�C>:I�E6HH:C9�:GK6G:C�#J>HI�9:O:�E6G:AI?:H�K6C�BDB:CI:C�BD<:C�:G�O>?C�2:�O>?C�B::G�96C�CJII><�)DH>I>:K:�:BDI>:H�A><<:C�B:9:�66C�9:�76H>H�K6C�K::G@G68=I�:C�=DDE���G:9:G>8@HDC�� �����"IO=6@N���%>EH8=>IO�� �����'DA:C�!D:@H:B6�� �����

Page 15: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

15!

�:�>CKAD:9�K6C�9:�EDH>I>:K:�EHN8=DAD<>:��,:A><B6C�:C��H>@HO:CIB>=6AN>�� ������9>:�9:�@G68=I:C�:C�=:I�<:KD:A�K6C�L:A7:K>C9:C�K6C�B:CH:C�:C�<GD:E:C�DC9:GOD:@I��>H�9J>9:A>?@�I:GJ<�I:�K>C9:C�>C�9:�G:8:CI:�K>H>:H�DE�GDJL���:C�:C�6C9:G�KG66<I�DB�::C�K:GI66AHA6<�C66G�9:�EG6@I>?@���� � +DJL�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�>BEA>86I>:H�

�06CC::G� >H�:G�7:=D:;I:�66C�GDJLI=:G6E>:��0:A@:�8A>SCI:C�@DB:C�966GKDDG� >C�66CB:G@>C<��066GDE�BD:I�?:�6AH�I=:G6E:JI�KDDG6A�A:II:C�6AH�=:I�8A>SCI:C�7:IG:;I��!D:�7A>?;�?:�6AH�I=:G6E:JI�<D:9�;JC8I>DC:G:C�7>?�GDJL�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�>CI:GK:CI>:H��/G66<I�::C�C>:JL�GDJLE6G69><B6�6C9:G:�K66G9><=:9:C�K6C�9:�I=:G6E:JI����

��� &6I8=�IJHH:C�=JAEK:GA:C>C<�:C�GDJL�KDGB��.>I� DC9:GOD:@�7A>?@I� 96I� EGD;:HH>DC:A:� GDJL=JAEK:GA:C>C<�C>:I� =:AE:C9�:C�BD<:A>?@� O:A;H� H8=69:A>?@� >H�KDDG�B:CH:C�B:I�Z�CDGB6A:[�KDGB:C�K6C�GDJL�'66HI� I:� A>8=I:� =JAE� KDDG� OL6G:� EGD7A:B:C� 7:HI66I� DD@� =:I� G>H>8D� K6C� I:� OL6G:� =JAE� KDDG� A>8=I:�EGD7A:B:C��:�$:>?H:G������6��8DCHI6I::GI�J>I�::C�DK:GO>8=I�K6C�:;;:8IHIJ9>:H��96I�9:�B6I8=�IJHH:C�9:�KDGB�K6C�=JAE�:C�9:�B6I:�L66G>C�9:�GDJL�<:8DBEA>8::G9� >H��K6C�7:A6C<�O>?C�KDDG�=:I�:;;:8I�K6C�9:�=JAE� )GD;:HH>DC:A:� GDJL>CI:GK:CI>:H� O>?C� 6AA::C� <:TC9>8::G9� 7>?� >C9>K>9J:C�� <:O>CC:C� :C� ;6B>A>:H�L66G7>?�:G�HEG6@:�>H�K6C�Z�<:8DBEA>8::G9:�GDJL[��#DG96C���':>B:N:G�� �����,8=JI��,IGD:7:��K6C�9:C��DJI���-:G=:<<:C�� ������:C�A6HI><:�KG66<�9G>C<I�O>8=�96C�6A�HC:A�DE��06CC::G�K:GADDEI�::C�GDJLEGD8:H�Z�<:8DBEA>8::G9[�:C�>H�GDJL7:<:A:>9>C<�CD9><��/DA<:CH�9:�$:>?H:G��/6C�9:C��DJI�:C��D:A:C���������O>?C�9J>9:A>?@:�9>6<CDH�I>H8=:�8G>I:G>6�CD9><�2>?�EA:>I:C�KDDG�::C�ZGDJLHIDDGC>H[�>C�9:��,&���(B�<:8DBEA>8::G9:�GDJL�K6HI�I:�@JCC:C�HI:AA:C�DCIL>@@:A9:C�O>?�9:�/G6<:CA>?HI�+DJL��O>:�7>?A6<:����"C�=:I�L:I:CH8=6EE:A>?@:�K:A9�O>?C�KDDG�Y�:C�I:<:CHI6C9:GH�I:�K>C9:C�>CO6@:�=:I�DEHI:AA:C�K6C�8G>I:G>6�KDDG�::C�Z�GDJLHIDDGC>H[���� � � �><:C�;JC8I >DC:G:C�K6C�9:�GDJLI=:G6E:JI���>?� =:I� DC9:GHI:JC:C� K6C� GDJL:C9:C� @DBI� 9:� I=:G6E:JI�� DC6;=6C@:A>?@� K6C� L:A@:� GDJLI=:DG>:� 96C�DD@��>C�66CG6@>C<�B:I�K::A�O6@:C��9>:�>:9:G�B:CH�IDI�ZIG6C:C�ID:�ODJ9:C�7:L:<:C[�(E�L:A@:�B6C>:G�@6C�9:� I=:G6E:JI�::C�76A6CH�K>C9:C� >C�=:I�EGD;:HH>DC::A�J>IKD:G:C�K6C�O>?C�K6@�:C�=:I�7:H8=:GB:C�K6C�9:�<G:CO:C�K6CJ>I�B:CH:A>?@�DD<EJCI�&6:H�� �����HI:AI�96I�9:�GDJLI=:G6E:JI�>C�9:�::GHI:�EA66IH�DE�=:I�J*348�,//8K�HI66I��9LO�=:I�7::C�K6C�EG:H:CI>:�:C�8DBE6HH>:��DDG�EG:H:CI�I:�O>?C�>C�:BE6I=>:�:C�C67>?=:>9�O6A�::C�GDJL:C9:�O>?C�K:G=66A�@JCC:C�K:GI:AA:C�:C�9:�GJ>BI:�9JGK:C�C:B:C�DB�DE�OD:@�I:� <66C�C66G� ::C�7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<�:C� G:8DCHIGJ8I>:� K6C� O>?C� A:K:C�!:I� J�9/�,//8K� HI66I� KDDG� =:I�7::C� K6C� 9:� >CI:GK:CI>:� :C� 8DBE:I:CI>:� K6C� 9:� GDJLI=:G6E:JI�� 9>:� O>8=� B:I� >CI:GK:CI>:H� :C�<:HEG:@HI:8=C>:@:C�G>8=I�DE�=:I�EGD8:H�K6C�9:�GDJL:C9:�%:��:K:G:�9:�-:C�!DK:�� �����ODJ�O:<<:C��Z� C>:I� L:I:C[� FJ6� >C=DJ9� �J*348�,//8K�� :C� ZL:A� L:I:C[� FJ6� EGD8:9JG:� �J�9/�,//8K��� &DGG>HDC� � �����7:C69GJ@I�=:I�7:A6C<�K6C�O:A;7:LJHIO>?C�KDDG�9:�GDJLI=:G6E:JI��)GD7::G�O>8=I�I:�@G>?<:C�DE�9:�:><:C�HI:G@I:H��OL6@I:H��L:CH:C�� >CI:CI>:H��L66G9:C�:CO�'>:I�6AA::C�DB�?:�<G:CO:C�I:�7:L6@:C��B66G�DB�DD@� ::C� C>:I�K:GDDG9:A:C9:� =DJ9>C<� 66C� I:� @JCC:C� 7A>?K:C� C:B:C� IDK� 8A>SCI:C� $:>GH:� �������69K>H::GI�DB�;::9768@�K6C�6C9:G:C�I:�OD:@:C�:C�I:�66CK66G9:C��DB�:BDI>:H�B:I�6C9:G:C�I:�9:A:C��DB�I:�OD:@:C�C66G�7>?H8=DA>C<�KDDG�H>IJ6I>:H��9>:�BD:>A>?@�I:�=6CI:G:C�O>?C��:C�DB�9:�76A6CH�I:�OD:@:C�C66G�@L6A>I6I>:;�<D:9:�ODG<�KDDG�9:�6C9:G�:C�O>8=O:A;��

��� -=:G6E:JI>H8=:�66C968=IHEJCI:C�K6CJ>I�C>:JL:�GDJLK>H>:H��

�C�!DD<=:�� �����;DGBJA::GI�>C�=66G�HIJ9>:�::C�66CI6A�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�66C968=IHEJCI:C�KDDGI@DB:C9�

Page 16: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

16!

J>I�9:�C>:JL:G:�K>H>:H�DE�GDJL���

• 06I�K:GHI66C�L:�DC9:G� Z<:8DBEA>8::G9:�GDJL[����06I�>H�Z�<:8DBEA>8::G9[���KDDG�L>:�>H�96I�:C�>C�L:A@:�8DCI:MI�>H�>:IH�<:8DBEA>8::G9��2>?C�966G��9>6<CDHI>H8=:�8G>I:G>6�KDDG�CD9><��!DD<=:�� �����HI:AI�96I�Z�<:8DBEA>8::G9[�:C�ZCDGB66A[�<::C�67HDAJI:� 8DC8:EI:C� O>?C� B66G� ::G9:G� :MIG:B:C� K6C� ::C� 9>B:CH>:� /DA<:CH� =66G� ODJ� 9:�G>8=IA>?C�@JCC:C�O>?C� Z� DB�H6B:C�B:I�9:� GDJL:C9:C�O:A;� I:�OD:@:C�C66G�9:�ODG<:C�DBIG:CI�=:I�:><:C�GDJLEGD8:H�:C�9:�HE:8>;>:@:�7:=D:;I:C�9>:�B:C�O:A;�KD:AI[�2>?�=:8=I�B::G�L66G9:�66C� =:I� CDGB6A>H:G:C� :C� 8DCI:MIJ6A>H:G:C� K6C� 9:� K:GH8=:>9:C=:>9� 66C� 7:I:@:C>HH:C� :C�GDJLG:68I>:H�KDDG�9:�GDJL:C9:C��B:I�66C968=I�KDDG�9:�A:K:CH;6H:�K6C�>:9:G�:C�KDDG�KDG><:�K:GA>:H:GK6G>C<:C��

• �6C968=I�KDDG�K:GH8=:>9:C=:>9�>C�7:I:@:C>HH:C�� >C�GDJLG:68I>:H�!DD<=:��EA:>I�:GKDDG�96I��HNHI::B��I=:G6E:JI:C�GJ>BI:�7>:9:C�KDDG�9:�K:GH8=>AA:C9:�K:G=6A:C��KDDG�>:9:GH�:GK6G>C<�B:I�=:I�K:GA>:H��>C�9:�:><:C�8DCI:MI��:�I=:G6E:JI�ODJ�96C�BD9:A�HI66C�>C�=:I�G:HE:8IKDA�DB<66C�B:I�=:I�:><:C:�:C�Z�6C9:GH[�YO>?C��B6L�66C968=I�KDDG�IDA:G6CI>:�KDDG�K:GH8=>A�#J>HI�K:GH8=>AA:C�>C�;6B>A>:H�O>?C�::C�KDGB�K6C�A>?9:C�06I�L>AA:C�:C�@JCC:C�O:�L:A��H6B:C�9:A:C��0>:�@JCC:C�=>:G7>?�6AH�HI:JC;><JJG�9>:C:C���

• +DJL:C�>H�B::G�96C�:BDI>:H�/DDG�EGD;:HH>DC:A:� GDJLI=:G6E:JI:C� >H�=:I�7:A6C<G>?@�DB�ODL:A�66C968=I� I:�=:77:C�KDDG�9:�EG>B6>G:�6AH�H:8JC96>G:�K:GA>:O:C�'66HI�=:I�DB<66C�B:I�=:I�K:GA>:H�K6C�::C�E:GHDDC�>H�DD@�=:I�@JCC:C�DB<66C�B:I�6AA:�K:G6C9:G>C<:C�9>:�9>I�K:GA>:H�B:I�O>8=�B::7G:C<I��L:CH:A>?@��:�I=:G6E:JI�O6A�O>8=�ODL:A�DE�=:I�:BDI>DC:A:�C>K:6J�BD:I:C�G>8=I:C�6AH�DD@�DE�9:�EG6@I>H8=:�BD:>A>?@=:9:C�7>?�9:�66CE6HH>C<�66C�=:I�K:G6C9:G9:�A:K:C��

• �:�GDJL:C9:C�K:G7>C9:C�B:I�=:I�:><:C�C:IL:G@��:�KG66<�C66G�>C9>K>9J:A:�EHN8=DI=:G6E:JI>H8=:�7:<:A:>9>C<�@DBI�HDBH�KDDG�>C�9:�=DDE�::C�KDGB� K6C� HI:JC� I:� K>C9:C��>I� @6C� ::C�BD<:A>?@:� K6A@J>A� O>?C� KDDG� 9:� I=:G6E:JI� �:� GDA� K6C�AJ>HI:G:C�C66G�9:� GDJL:C9:��OD96I�9:O:�O>8=�<:=DDG9�:C�:G@:C9�KD:AI� >C�O>?C�<:KD:A:CH�@6C�DD@�K:GKJA9�LDG9:C�9DDG�B:CH:C�>C�=:I�:><:C��7A>?K:C9:�C:IL:G@��:C�<D:9:�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�G:A6I>:� B6<� 6C9:G:� C6IJJGA>?@:� G:A6I>:H� C>:I� �CD<�� B::G� DE� ::C� 6;HI6C9� 7G:C<:C� �:C�GDJLI=:G6E:JI� 9>:CI� HA:8=IH� ::C� I>?9:A>?@:� HI:JC7GDC� KDDG� GDJL:C9:C� I:� O>?C� �:C� DEADHH>C<�KDDG� 9>I� 9>A:BB6� ODJ� @JCC:C� 7:HI66C� DB� H6B:C� B:I� 9:� GDJL:C9:� =:I� :><:C� C:IL:G@� I:�K:G@:CC:C�C66G�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�:C�7:E:G@>C<:C�K6C�HI:JC;><JG:C�/DDG�9:�<:HEG:@@:C�@6C�9:�I=:G6E:JI�DD@�HI:JC;><JG:C�J>ICD9><:C�J>I�9:�:><:C�DB<:K>C<�K6C�9:�GDJL:C9:��:�EDH>I>:�K6C�9:� I=:G6E:JI� LDG9I� 96C� 6C9:GH� :C� C6IJJGA>?@:� HI:JCHNHI:B:C� LDG9:C� DE� 9:O:� B6C>:G�DE<:7DJL9�/DA<:CH�!DD<=:�BD:I:C�::GHI:�>CI:GK:CI>:H�<:G>8=I�LDG9:C�DE�=:I�DC9:GHI:JC:C�:C�BD<:A>?@�66CHI:G@:C�K6C�9:�:><:C�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�7>CC:C�=:I�C6IJJGA>?@�C:IL:G@��

�:�=J>9><:�K>H>:H�DE� GDJL�KG6<:C�DB�::C�E6HH:C9� I=:G6E:JI>H8=�8DC8:EI��L66G>C�66C968=I� >H� KDDG�7DK:C<:CD:B9:� 6HE:8I:C� !:I� (EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� �D<C>I>:;� :C� ,NHI::B<:G>8=I:� -=:G6E:JI>H8=:�BD9:A� D;L:A� @DGI� 66C<:9J>9� (EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� -=:G6E>:� �(-�� A>?@I� =>:G� <D:9� 7>?� 66C� I:� HAJ>I:C� :C�K:G9>:CI�::C�C69:G:�ID:A>8=I>C<�066G�HI66I�=:I�(-�BD9:A�KDDG�:C�L6I�L>A�O>?�7:L:G@HI:AA><:C������ (EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:��(-���(-�>H�::C�I=:G6E:JI>H8=�BD9:A�96I�L:G:A9L>?9�:C�>C�ID:C:B:C9:�B6I:�66C968=I�:C�EDEJA6G>I:>I�@G>?<I�"C� EA66IH� K6C� O>8=� I:� 8DC8:CIG:G:C� DE� I:@DGI:C� K6C� 8A>SCI:C�� OJAA:C� (-�I=:G6E:JI:C� =:C� O>:C� 6AH�K>C9>C<G>?@:� :C� 8DBE:I:CI:� >C9>K>9J:C� "C9>K>9J:C� B:I� KDDG6A� EDH>I>:K:� >CI:CI>:H� >C� EA66IH� K6C�C:<6I>:K:��:�E:G8:EI>:�K6C�9:�8A>SCI�>H�::C�L66G9:KDAA:�=JAE7GDC�7>?�=:I�G:6A>H:G:C�K6C�9:�<:L:CHI:�K:G6C9:G>C<�!D:�>H�(-�DCIHI66C��

Page 17: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

17!

��� �:�<:H8=>:9:C>H�K6C�=:I�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I�L:G@:C��

�:� DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� 7:C69:G>C<� D;L:A� Z� 9:� EG6<B6I>:@� K6C� =DDE� :C� G:HE:8I[� L:G9� DDGHEGDC@:A>?@�DCIL>@@:A9� DB� I:<:CL>8=I� I:� 7>:9:C� I:<:C� 9:� IG69>I>DC:A:� EHN8=DI=:G6E:JI>H8=:� KDDGDDG9:A:C� DK:G�B:CH:C�:C�=JC�A:K:CHEGD7A:B:C�:C�9:�DEADHH>C<�:GK6C��

���� �B:G>@6���:�L>:<�K6C�(-�HIDC9�>C�&>AL6J@::��0>H8DCH>C��.,��7>?�=:I���-����G>:;��6B>AN�-=:G6EN��:CI:G���:C�I:6B�� L66GK6C� 9:� A:9:C� 6;@DBHI><� L6G:C� J>I� 9>K:GH:� 6869:B>H8=:� 9>H8>EA>C:H� �K6C� <:C::H@JC9:��EHN8=DAD<>:� IDI� A>C<JTHI>:@�:C� I:8=C>:@���HE6C9:�O>8=�9:�6;<:ADE:C���� ?66G� >C�:C�B:I�C6B:�9DDG�=:I�KDA=6G9:C9:�L:G@:C�K6C�,I:K:�9:�,=6O:G�:C�"CHDD�$>B��:G<�@L6B�=:I�(-�BD9:A�IDI�DCIEADD>>C<��2>?�DCIL>@@:A9:C� EGD8:9JG:H� 9DDG� 38.?->3/0� I:� L:G@:C�� 9DDG� >C9>K>9J:A:� <:HEG:@@:C� I:� D7H:GK:G:C� :C�66C968=I�I:�H8=:C@:C�66C�L6I�7GJ>@766G�L6H�"C���� �@L6B�,=6O:G�KDDG�=:I�::GHI�DE�=:I�>9::�96I�:G�<::C�CDD9O6@:A>?@�K:G76C9�=D:;I�I:�O>?C�IJHH:C�=:I�EGD7A::B�:C�9:�DEADHH>C<�!:I�<:O>C�L66GB::�=>?�DE�96I�BDB:CI�L:G@I:�7A::@�C>:I�>C�HI66I�I:�O>?C�DB�IDI�L:G@76G:�9D:A:C�I:�@DB:C�C66G�66CA:>9>C<�K6C�9:�KG66<�Z�06I�7G:C<I�?:�=>:G�[��:�,=6O:G�:C�O>?C� 8DAA:<6[H� BD:9><9:C� 9:� <:O>CHA:9:C� 66C� DB� =JC� 66C968=I� DE� >:IH� 6C9:GH� I:� G>8=I:C� 96C� =JC�EGD7A:B:C�2>?�KGD:<:C�=:C�66C968=I� I:�<:K:C�66C� [�L6I�:G�<:7:JGI� >C� ?JAA>:� A:K:C�96I� ?:�L>AI�96I�96I�7A>?;I�<:7:JG:C[�'6�IL::�L:@:C�B:A99:�=:I�<:O>C�O>8=�L::G�66C�7>?�,I:K:C�:C�8DAA:<6[H�B:I�=:I�<D:9:�C>:JLH�96I�=:I�66G9><�B:I�=:C�<>C<�:C�K::A�EGD7A:B:C�L6G:C�DE<:ADHI�/DA<:CH�9:�6HHJBEI>:H�K6C�9:�EGD7A::BDEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� 7:C69:G>C<� ODJ� =:I� <:O>C� C>:I� OD� <D:9� K:G7:I:G9� @JCC:C� O>?C� �:�=JAEK:GA:C:GH�L6G:C�CD<�C>:I�>C�HI66I�<:L::HI�DB�9:�EGD7A:B:C�I:�6C6ANH:G:C�:C�::C�>CI:GK:CI>:�66C�I:�7>:9:C�/6C6;�96I�BDB:CI�7A::@�::C�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�66CE6@�7GJ>@766G��"C������A6C8::G9:�,=6O:G�O>?C�BD9:A�66CK6C@:A>?@�6AH�::C�Z�8DBEA:I:�7:H8=G>?K>C<�KDDG�I=:G6E>:[����C@:A:�7:A6C<G>?@:�HI:AA>C<:C�KDA<:CH��:�,=6O:G�:C��:G<�O>?C��L��/� 56+==/� @+8�./� :<9,6/7/8�,/299<>� 83/>� >9>� ./� 56+==/� @+8�./� 9:69==381/8M��!:I� 6C6ANH:G:C� K6C�EGD7A:B:C�>H�C>:I�CD9><�DB�IDI�DEADHH>C<:C�I:�@DB:C�L��/�:+>3G8>�3=�./�/B:/<>�@+8�D348�>2/<+:3/M���:�E6I>SCI�7:E66AI�=:I�9D:A�:C�9:�L:<�:G�C66G�ID:�L�)+>�83/>�=>?5� 3=��79/>� 4/�83/>�7+5/8M���A>?;�6;�K6C�96I<:C:�L6I�KDA<:CH�9:�7:A:K>C<�K6C�9:�E6I>SCI�<D:9�<66I�L��6=�3/>=�A/<5>��1+�/<�7//�.99<M��(D@�6A�>H�=:I�7J>I:C�9:�K:GL68=I>C<�DB�K6C�9:�I=:G6E:JI�L��6=�3/>=�83/>�A/<5>��.9/�.+8�3/>=�+8./<=M��&::G�K6C�=:IO:A;9:�A:>9I�C>:I�IDI�=:I�<:L:CHI:�G:HJAI66I���:�,=6O:G�:C��:G<��������DBH8=G>?K:C�K>:G�9J>9:A>?@:�@6G6@I:G>HI>:@:�:A:B:CI:C�9>:�66CL:O><�9>:C:C�I:�O>?C�7>?�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I�L:G@:C9:�I=:G6E:JI:C��

� �G<:CH�>C�=:I�::GHI:�<:HEG:@�O6A�9:�I=:G6E:JI�9:�0DC9:GKG66<�HI:AA:C� "C�=:I�::GHI:�<:HEG:@�O6A�B>CHI:CH�::C�@::G�9:�H8=66AKG66<�K6C������D;������LDG9:C�<:HI:A9�� �:�I=:G6E:JI�O6A�I>?9:CH�=:I�<:HEG:@�::C�E6JO:�>CA6HH:C�� '6�9:O:�E6JO:�O6A�9:� I=:G6E:JI�O>?C�8A>SCI�8DBEA>B:CI:C�<:K:C�:C� �K66@��::C�HJ<<:HI>:�D;�

DE9G68=I�<:K:C��:ME:G>B:CI���%6I:G�7A::@�96I�DD@�9>I�BD9:A�66C�K:G6C9:G>C<�DC9:G=:K><�ODJ�@DB:C�I:�HI66C_�"?<�19+6� 3=�89>� >9�900/<� >2/�038+6��./0383>3@/�+8.�986C�-</.3,6/�=>9<C�+,9?>�=96?>398�09-?=/.�>2/<+:C� �&>AA:G����:�,=6O:G���������������

�� � �JGDE6��=:I��GJ<H:�BD9:A���"C� �JGDE6� L:G9� =:I� Z�GJ<H:� BD9:A[� >C� 9:O:� O:A;9:� E:G>D9:� J>I<:L:G@I�� KDDGI@DB:C9� J>I� C:<6I>:K:�:GK6G>C<:C� B:I� 9:� @A6HH>:@:� I=:G6E>:SC�� L66GDC9:G� 9:� EHN8=D6C6ANH:� !:I� L6G:C� B:I� C6B:� %J8�"H:76:GI�:C�O>?C�B:9:<GDC9A:<<:GH�K6C�9:�I=:DG>:�K6C�9:�<:LDDCI:H��&NG>6B�%:��:K:G:�9:�-:C�!DK:��

Page 18: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

18!

&6G>:��=G>HI>C:��67>R�:C��GL>C��:7>HH8DE��9>:�9:O:�B:I6B:I=D9:�DCIL>@@:A9:C�!:I�A:>9BDI>:;�KDDG�=:C�L6H�:C�>H�CD<�HI::9H�DB�DE�OD:@�I:�<66C�C66G�ZL6I�L:G@I�>C�I=:G6E>:[�06I�>H�:G�:HH:CI>::A�>C�=:I�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�EGD8:H��!:I�<:968=I:<D:9�L:G9�K:G9:G�DCIL>@@:A9�7>CC:C�Z�-=:��GJ<:H�<GDJE[��:O:�7:C6B>C<� L:G9� ID:<:@:C9� 7>?� 9:� EG:H:CI6I>:� K6C� =:I� &D9:A� � I>?9:CH� =:I� 8DC<G:H� Z-=:G6E:JI>8�8DCK:GH6I>DCH[�I:��:CK:G���DADG69D��!:I�Z�GJ<H:�BD9:A[� >H�7:9D:A9�6AH�=6C9A:>9>C<�KDDG�I=:G6E:JI:C�>C�=:I�EGD8:H�DB�9:�8A>SCI�I:�=:AE:C�O>?C�:><:C�=JAE7GDCC:C�I:�DCI9:@@:C�:C�I:�<:7GJ>@:C�7>?�=:I�DEADHH:C�K6C�EGD7A:B:C�&>AIDC��G>8@HDC�>H�9DDG�9:�<GDC9A:<<:GH�K6C�=:I�Z��GJ<H�BD9:A[�B:9:�6AH�>CHE>G6I>:7GDC�<:7GJ>@I��G>8@HDC��������O:II:�O>8=�6;�I:<:C�:A@:�KDGB�K6C�I=:DG:I>H:G>C<�:C�7:C69GJ@I:�96I�:A@:�E:GHDDC�JC>:@�>H�!:I�>CI:G:HH::G9:�=:B� C>:I� L6I� 9:� DDGO6@:C� L6G:C� K6C� 9:� EGD7A:B:C� :C� 7:H8=DJL9:� HNBEIDB:C� ::G9:G� 6AH�7:@L66B=:9:C� :C� CJII><:� DK:GA:K>C<HHIG6I:<>:SC� >C� EA66IH� K6C� J>I9GJ@@>C<:C� K6C� ::C� D;� 6C9:G:�E6I=DAD<>:�!>?�O:II:�?J>HI�9:O:�HNBEIDB:C�KDDG�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�9D:A:>C9:C�>C��ZJI>A>H6I>:[������:�7:A6C<G>?@HI:�J>I<6C<HEJCI:C�K6C�=:I��GJ<H:�BD9:A�O>?C��%:��:K:G:�9:�-:C�!DK:�� ������

� !:I�B6C966I�<:<:K:C�9DDG�9:�8A>SCI�9>:CI�7DK:C�6AA:H�I:�LDG9:C�<:G:HE:8I::G9� �:�8A>SCI�=::;I�O:A;=:A:C9:�86E68>I:>I:C�� !:I�@JCC:C�B6@:C�K6C�@:JO:H�>H�::C�B66I�K6C�<:ODC9�EHN8=>H8=�;JC8I>DC:G:C�� �:�DDGO66@�K6C�::C�EGD7A::B�=::;I��K66@��C>:IH�I:�B6@:C�B:I�9:�DEADHH>C<�

�)GD7A:B:C�DCIHI66C�6AH�B:CH:C�K6HIO>II:C�>C�E6IGDC:C�K6C�9:C@:C�:C�9D:C��L66G7>?�O:�A::9�:GK6G:C�2:� =:77:C� =:I� <:KD:A� <::C� @:JO:H� B::G� I:� =:77:C� D;� I:� @JCC:C� B6@:C� �:� 7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<��H:B6CI>H8=:� @:JO:�� 9>:� O:� 66C� =JC� G:6A>I:>I� <:K:C� >H� KDDG� =:C� 9:� :C><:� :C� ?J>HI:� 2:� G6@:C�<:7AD@@::G9�>C�::C�<:9G6<�D;�::C�<:968=I:��:C�Z�=D<:�7GJ<[�DEG>?9:C�>H�::C�6C<HI><:�:GK6G>C<�KDDG�>:B6C9� B:I� =DD<I:KG::H�@A68=I:C� :C� A:>9I� :GID:� 96I� 9:� K:G7>C9>C<HL:<� K:GB:9:C� LDG9I� �:�7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<�K6C�9:�8A>SCI�66C�=:I�8DC8:EI�Z=D<:�7GJ<[��7G:C<I�::C�G:6A>I:>I�I:�L::<�CA�6C<HI����:O:�7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<�>H�L::G�76H>H�KDDG�9:�EG6<B6I>H8=:�@:JO:�D;�=6C9:A>C<H7:HA>HH>C<��9:�8A>SCI�O6A� ::C� 6C9:G:� L:<� @>:O:C� �G� >H� <::C� 6C9:G:� @:JO:� KDDG� 9:� 8A>SCI� 9:C@766G� 2D9G6� 9:� 8A>SCI�6AI:GC6I>:K:C� KDDG� 9:� 7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<� K6CZ� 9:� =D<:� 7GJ<[� @6C� <:K:C�� OJAA:C� O>?C�=6C9:A>C<H7:HA>HH>C<:C� O>8=� J>I7G:>9:C�� =>?� @6C� ::C� @:JO:� B6@:C� KDDG� ::C� 7:I:@:C>H� 9>:� 7:I:G� >H�"H:76:GI� � ����� DBH8=G>?;I� =:I� EGD8:H� K6C� @:JO:KG>?=:>9� >C� =:I� �GJ<H:� BD9:A� !>?� <66I� J>I� K6C� ::C�H6B:C=6C<� IJHH:C�9:�L66GC:B>C<�K6C�9:� G:6A>I:>I�� =:I� ID:@:CC:C�K6C�7:I:@:C>HH:C�:C�=:I�C:B:C�K6C�=6C9:A>C<H7:HA>HH>C<:C��;><JJG��������������������><JJG� � �� ,6B:C=6C<� IJHH:C� 9:� L66GC:B>C<� �E:G8:EI>:�� K6C� 9:� G:6A>I:>I�� 9:�7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<�H:B6CI>H8=:� @:JO:�� :C� 9:� 7:HA>HH>C<� 9>:� 66C� 9:� =6C9:A>C<� �68I>:�� KDDG6;� <66I��EG6<B6I>H8=:�@:JO:��"H:76:GI��%�� �������

Page 19: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

19!

�:� I66@� K6C� 9:� I=:G6E:JI� DBK6I� KDA<:CH� =:I� �GJ<H:�BD9:A� �"H:76:GI�� ����� E� ���� K6C� 9:� @:JO:�KG>?=:>9��

, !:I�8G:SG:C�K6C�9:�8DCI:MI�L66G>C�9:�8A>SCI�>C�I=:G6E>:�<:TCI:G:HH::G9�G66@I��, !:I�K:G@:CC:C�K6C�9:�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�K6C�9:�H:B6CI>H8=:�:C�EG6<B6I>H8=:�@:JO:��, !:I� K:G@:CC:C� K6C� 9:� 8DCI:MI� L66G>C� 9:� 8A>SCI� ::G9:G� D;� K6@:G� ::C� 6AI:GC6I>:K:�

7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C>C<� =::;I� <:=6CI::G9�� 96I� L>A� O:<<:C� ::C� 6C9:G:� H:B6CI>H8=:� @:JO:� =::;I�<:B66@I�:C�::C�966GJ>I�KDA<:C9�6C9:G:�=6C9:A>C<H7:HA>HH>C<�=::;I�<:CDB:C��

, !:I�6A9JH�=:GHI:AA:C��G:HE:8I>:K:A>?@��DEC>:JL��DCIL>@@:A:C�D;�J>I7G:>9:C�K6C�9:�@:JO:KG>?=:>9��(B�9>I�@:JO:EGD8:H�I:�DC9:GHI:JC:C�>H�::C�H6B:CL:G@>C<HG:A6I>:�B:I�9:�8A>SCI�K6C�7:A6C<��066G�L>A�9:� 8A>SCI� C66G� ID:�� $6C� 9:� I=:G6E:JI� 9:� 8A>SCI� =:AE:C� >C� =:I� ;DGBJA:G:C� K6C� ::C� L:G@766G� 9D:A���66GID:� >H� =:I� K>C9:C� K6C� ::C� <D:9:� H6B:CL:G@>C<H;DGBJA:� K6C� <GDDI� 7:A6C<� �:� 8A>SCI� <::;I�966GB::�B6C966I�:C�H8=:C@I� K:GIGDJL:C��:>9:C�O>?C�CD9><�OD96I�9:�8A>SCI� O>?C�:><:C� I=:G6E>:�@6C�KDGB<:K:C�:C�O>?C�9D:A:C�@6C�7:G:>@:C�%:��:K:G:�9:�-:C�!DK:�� �����HEG::@I�=>:G�DK:G�::C�8>G8JA6>G�B6C966I�� ::C� 8DBEA:B:CI6G>I:>I� IJHH:C� 9:� I=:G6E:JI� 6AH� Z� :ME:GI� >C� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�B6I:G>:[� :C� 9:�8A>SCI�6AH�Z�:ME:GI�K6C�O>?C�I=:G6E>:[��Z�#D>C:C[�>H�::C�7:A6C<G>?@:�K66G9><=:>9�KDDG�=:I�K:GL:GK:C�K6C�::C�B6C966I�(D@�9DDG�::C�=DJ9>C<�K6C�68I>:;�AJ>HI:G:C��=:G;DGBJA:G:C��688:EI6I>:�K6C�9:�L>?O:�L66GDE�=:I�EGD7A::B�LDG9I�<:;DGBJA::G9�:C�66CE6HH>C<�66C�G>IB:��=DJ9>C<�:C�I66A��OJAA:C�8A>SCI:C�O>8=�<:L66G9::G9�:C�<:G:HE:8I::G9�KD:A:C��66G7>?�O6A�::C�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�=DJ9>C<�K6C�Z�C>:I�L:I:C[�FJ6�>C=DJ9�:C�ZL:A�L:I:C[�FJ6�EGD8:9JG:�9:�H6B:CL:G@>C<HG:A6I>:�7:KDG9:G:C��%:��:K:G:�9:�-:C�!DK:�� �����7>:9I�=:I�KDA<:C9:�>CI:GK:CI>:H8=:B6��;><JJG� ��66C�6AH�G>8=IHCD:G�KDDG�9:� I=:G6E:JI� �;=6C@:A>?@� K6C� 9:� L:G@G:A6I>:� O6A� 9:� I=:G6E:JI� 9:� H6B:CL:G@>C<� KDGB� EGD7:G:C� I:�<:K:C�

$%��!-�",���'�()%(,,"' ���'$���+��

���

��� � �������������#6� � �������������������������������� � C::� ���������������������

��><JJG����� �GJ<H� >CI:GK:CI>:H8=:B6� K6C� 9:� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� G:A6I>:� �%:� �:K:G:� 9:� -:C� !DK:�� �����E6< ���

Page 20: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

20!

"C� 9>I� >CI:GK:CI>:H8=:B6� BD9:A� LDG9I� ::C� EGD8:H�� ::C� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� EGD8:9JG:� 7:H8=G:K:C� �:�>C=DJ9�LDG9I�9DDG�9:�8A>SCI�7:E66A9��:�B6C>:G�L66GDE�9:�I=:G6E:JI�9:�KG6<:C�HI:AI�7G:C<I�9:�8A>SCI�:GID:�DB�::C�HL>I8=�I:�B6@:C�K6C�EGD7A::B<:G>8=I:�C66G�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�D7H:GK6I>:H��%:��:K:G:�9:�-:C�!DK:�� �����K6I�9:�@:GC�K6C�=:I�BD9:A�@G68=I><�H6B:C�>C�=66G�HADILDDG9��L��9/�5?88/8�A/�++8�98D/�-63G8>��/8�D348�=C=>//7��./�791/63452/3.�>/<?11/@/8�97�>/�53/D/8��D9.+>�234�98>=8+:>�++8�2/>�5/?<=6340�@+8�./�=C7:>97/8�/8�>/<?1�5/?D/�2//0>�>?==/8�@/<=-2366/8./�A/1/8�M��:C��L��/D/�,/8+./<381�@+8� J� >2/<+:3/K�D9?� 4/�/7+8-3:+>9<3=-2�5?88/8�89/7/8��//8�/7+8-3:+>3/�@+8�./�-63G8>��.3/�83/>�,/=-29?A.�A9<.>�+6=�./�0+6/8./�.3/�2/>�83/>�A//>��.9-2�+6=�//8�./=5?8.31/�.3/�2/>�891�83/>�A//>���/8�./=5?8.31/�.3/�/@/8�//8�>/-283-?=�382??<>�97�D348�/31/8�+<=/8++6�8?>>31/<�>/�5?88/8�1/,<?35/8�M��

���� Z$GJ>H7:HIJ>K>C<[��

!:I�<:A>?@I>?9><�DCIHI66C�K6C�=:I��B:G>@66CH:�:C��GJ<H:�BD9:A�@G::<�CD<�::C�:MIG6� >BEJAH�9DDG�9:��ID:K6AA><:��DCIBD:I>C<�K6C�,I:K:�9:�,=6O:G�B:I�%J8�"H:76:GI�I>?9:CH�::C�HIJ9>:96<�>C�)6G>?H��G�DCIHIDC9�::C�Z�@GJ>H7:HIJ>K>C<[�9>:�>H�7A>?K:C�9DDG<66C�IDI�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C�K6C�,I:K:�:C�"CHDD�2D�C6B�9:� �GJ<H:� <GD:E� =:I� >9::� DK:G� K6C� 9:� �ADL8=6GI� K6C� ,I:K:� :C� B66@I:� :G� ::C� B::G�<:7GJ>@HKG>:C9:A>?@:G�:M:BEA66G�K6C�96C�9:��B:G>@66CH:�K:GH>:��:��B:G>@6C:C�C6B:C�=:I��>9::�K6C�=:I�7:A6C<�K6C�Z@:JO:H[�@JCC:C�B6@:C�L::G�DK:G�K6C�9:��GJ<H:�<GD:E����:>9:� BD9:AA:C� 7>:9:C� ::C� 6C9:G:� @>?@� DE� =JAEK:GA:C:C� 66C� :C� HI:AA:C� 96I� =:I� 7:A6C<G>?@HI:�L:G@>CHIGJB:CI�K6C�::C� I=:G6E:JI�9:� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� G:A6I>:� >H�B:I�9:�8A>SCI�!:I�HIG:K:C� >H�DB�::C�KDGB� K6C� H6B:CL:G@>C<� IDI� HI6C9� I:� 7G:C<:C� L66G>C� 9:� 8A>SCI� :ME:GI� @6C� LDG9:C� K6C� O>?C� :><:C�I=:G6E>:��

� � �:C� 6C9:G:� @> ?@� DE� =JAEK:GA:C:C�� (EADHH>C<:C� J>IL:G@:C� K:GHJH�EGD7A:B:C�DEADHH:C��/DA<:CH��:�#DC<�:C��:G<� � �����7:HI66I�:G�::C� ;JC96B:CI::A�K:GH8=>A� IJHH:C�9:C@:C�:C�=6C9:A:C�<:G>8=I� DE�=:I� J>IL:G@:C� K6C�DEADHH>C<:C�� :C�=:I� 9:C@:C�:C�=6C9:A:C�<:G>8=I� DE�=:I� DEADHH:C� K6C�EGD7A:B:C� 2>?� 7:C69GJ@@:C� 96I� 9:� HIGJ8IJJG� K6C� =:I� EGD7A::B� DEADHH:C� �� ::GHI� 9:� 66G9� K6C� =:I�EGD7A::B� K6HIHI:AA:C� :C� 96C� >CI:GK:C>SG:C� �� 9:� >C=DJ9� K6C� 9:� >CI:G68I>:� IJHH:C� =JAEK:GA:C:GH� :C�8A>SCI:C� DD@� 7:TCKAD:9� �:O:� G>8=I� O>8=� C6B:A>?@� 6AH� <:KDA<� K6C� 9:� EGD7A::B6C6ANH:� DD@� DE�EGD7A:B:C��A>SCI:C�HI:AA:C�O>8=�@L:IH766G�DE�:C�O>?C�7>?�9:�7:=6C9:A>C<�<:C:><9�O>8=�6;=6C@:A>?@� I:�B6@:C�K6C�9:�:ME:GI>H:�:C�@JC9:�K6C�9:�=JAEK:GA:C:G��9>:�=:I�7:HI:�B:I�=:C�KDDG�=::;I��:� B>HH>:� K6C� =JAEK:GA:C:GH� >H� ?J>HI� DB� =JC� 8A>SCI:C� HI:G@:G� I:� B6@:C� :C� I:� @DB:C� IDI� ::C�EGD9J8I>:K:G�:C�7:KG:9><:C9:G�A:K:C��AH�=JAEK:GA:C:GH�9:�66C968=I�G>8=I:C�DE�EGD7A::B86I:<DG>:SC�D;� O>:@I:�>C9:A>C<:C�� @JCC:C� 8A>SCI:C� DCIBD:9><9� G6@:C� 2:� ODJ9:C� O>8=� @JCC:C� <66C� O>:C� 6AH�HA68=ID;;:G�K6C�::C�O>:@I:�D;�HIDDGC>H�/6CJ>I�:C:GO>?9H�9>I�HI:G@I:E:GHE:8I>:;��6C9:GO>?9H�9:�L:CH�DB�7>CC:C�=:I�G:;:G:CI>:@69:G�K6C�9:�8A>SCI�I:�L:G@:C�>H�9:�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�<:HEG:@H7:C69:G>C<�::C�<D:9�6AI:GC6I>:;���L�/�7//=>�D38@966/�7+83/<�97�>/�,/=63==/8�A/65/�./?<�1/9:/8.�5+8�A9<./8�97�,34�//8�9:69==381�>/�597/8�3=�.99<�//8�,/=-2<34@381�>/�5<341/8�@+8�A+>�./�-63G8>�+8./<=�D+6�1++8�.9/8�/8�90�A+>�@99<�=99<>�.381/8�/<�D?66/8�1/,/?</8�.3/�+8./<�D348�+6=�2/>�:<9,6//7�3=�9:1/69=>��97�D9.9/8./�//8�@/<A+-2>381�>/�-</G</8�@+8�//8�1?8=>31/�@/<+8./<381����/�%2+D/<�������:� ���M���

Page 21: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

21!

�:C� DK:GO>8=I� K6C� 9:� ;JC96B:CI:A:� K:GH8=>AA:C� IJHH:C� EGD7A::B<:G>8=I:� 7:C69:G>C<� :C�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�<:HEG:@HKD:G>C<���6CC>C@�� �������)GD7A::B<:G>8=I:�<:HEG:@HKD:G>C<� (EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�<:HEG:@HKD:G>C<�� ��D8JH�DE�<:KD:A:CH:BDI>:H� �D8JH�DE�O>:C��7:I:@:C>H��:C�9D:C��DJI:C�OD:@:C�>H�7:A6C<G>?@� (EADHH>C<:C�DCIL:GE:C�>H�7:A6C<G>?@�/>H>:�K6C�8A>SCI�9:J<I�C>:I� />H>:�K6C�8A>SCI�LDG9I�<:K6A>9::G9�0>:CH�;DJI�>H�=:I�� 06I�K>C9I�9:�8A>SCI�96I�:G�<:7:JG:C�BD:I��&DI>K6I>:�LDG9I�7:IL>?;:A9� &DI>K6I>:�LDG9I�<:OD8=I�:C�<:7GJ>@I�)GD;:HH>DC6A�<::;I�69K>:H� )GD;:HH>DC6A�HI:AI�KG6<:C�)GD;:HH>DC6A�>H�:ME:GI� )GD;:HH>DC6A�=::;I�=DJ9>C<�K6C�Z�C>:I�L:I:C[�/:GA:9:C�>H�7:A6C<G>?@� -D:@DBHI�>H�7:A6C<G>?@�)GD;:HH>DC6A�8DC;GDCI::GI� )GD;:HH>DC6A�688:EI::GI�9:�K>H>:�K6C�9:�8A>SCI�:C�

KG66<I�=DD<HI:CH��Z�(E�L:A@:�B6C>:G�=:AEI�96I�[�)GD;:HH>DC6A�DK:GIJ><I�9:�8A>SCI� )GD;:HH>DC6A�A66I�O>8=�9DDG�9:�8A>SCI�DK:GIJ><:C��G�O>?C�<GDI:�K:G6C9:G>C<:C�CD9><� �:C�@A:>C:�K:G6C9:G>C<�>H�KDA9D:C9:�!JAE7GDCC:C�BD:I:C�LDG9:C�66C<:A::G9� �:CD9><9:�=JAE7GDCC:C�O>?C�6A�66CL:O><�!:I�EGD7A::B�>H�:G�6AI>?9� !:I�EGD7A::B�>H�:G�CDD>I�6AI>?9�-=:DG>:7:E66A9�<:HEG:@� �A>SCI7:E66A9�<:HEG:@�"CO>8=I�D;�7:<G>E�>H�KDDGL66G9:� "CO>8=I�D;�7:<G>E�@DBI�I>?9:CH�D;�C6�9:�

K:G6C9:G>C<�-=:DG:I>H8=�>CO>8=I�K6C�9:�EGD;:HH>DC6A� �:I:@:C>HK:G6C9:G>C<�KDDG�9:�8A>SCI��9>:�IDI�

6C9:G�<:9G6<�A:>9I��

��� 06I�DC9:GH8=:>9I�(-�K6C�6C9:G:�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�>CI:GK:CI>:H��

�:� ,DAJI>DC� �D8JHH:9� �G>:;� -=:G6EN� �HHD8>6I>DC� �,��-��� DBH8=G>?;I� >C� =66G�&</+>7/8>� +8?+6� 09<�)9<5381� A3>2� �8.3@3.?+6=� �,��-��� ����� 9G>:� JC>:@:� :C� DC9:GH8=:>9:C9:� 6HE:8I:C� >C� =:I�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�EGD8:H���

� �C9:G:�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�7:C69:G>C<:C�;D8JHH:C�O>8=�B:I�C6B:�DE�=:I�>CC:GA>?@:�EGD8:H�K6C�9:�8A>SCI� �(-� A:<I� :MEA>8>:I� 9:�C69GJ@�DE�=:I� <:O6B:CA>?@:� EGD8:H� K6C�9D:A:C� 8DCHIGJ:G:C�9>:�E6HH:C9� O>?C� 7>?� 9:� 8A>SCI� �:� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� 9>6ADD<� :C� 9:� H6B:CL:G@>C<HG:A6I>:� IJHH:C�I=:G6E:JI�:C�8A>SCI�O>?C�966G7>?�7:A6C<G>?@:�L:G@>CHIGJB:CI:C�

�:� 9>6ADD<� >H� =:I� B::HI� :HH:CI>SA:� HIJ@?:� K6C� =:I� I=:G6E:JI>H8=� EGD8:H� :C� >H� DD@�D7H:GK::G766G� -:8=C>:@:C� 6AH� =:I� KG6<:C� C66G� J>IODC9:G>C<:C�� 9:� LDC9:GKG66<� :I8� � O>?C�7GJ>@766G�DB�I:�68=I:G=6A:C�L6I�L:A�D;�C>:I�L:G@I�>C�9:�I=:G6E>:��

�� �:�76H>H�KDDG�(-�A><I�>C�=:I�:BE>G>H8=�<:7GJ>@�K6C�I66A�>C�9:�9>6ADD<KDGB�)HN8=DA>C<JTHI>H8=�DC9:GOD:@� A><I� 66C� 9:� 76H>H� K6C� =66G� ;JC96B:CI�� 63=>/8�� =/6/->� /8� ,?36.� �9:�,=6O:G�� ������ G6CI� � �� �� K:G<:A::@� >C� 9>I� K:G76C9� 9:� >BE68I� K6C� ODL:A� EGD7A::B<:G>8=I:� 6AH�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�KG6<:C�!>?�B66@I:�=>:G7>?�<:7GJ>@�K6C�9:� \��H@�-:AA�&6IG>M]� �O>:� ;><JJG����DB� O>?C� KG6<:C� I:� EDH>I>DC:G:C�(C6;=6C@:A>?@� K6C� 9:� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� G>8=I>C<� DC9:GOD8=I� =>?� �� EHN8=DAD<>:� HIJ9:CI:C� .>I� O>?C� DC9:GOD:@� 7A>?@I� 96I� 7:>9:� HDDGI� KG6<:C� =:I� :;;:8I�K:G=D<:C� >C� =:I� 7:G:>@:C� K6C� ::C� <:HI:A9� 9D:A�� :8=I:G� DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� KG6<:C� =:77:C�B::G�:;;:8I�=>:G7>?�96C�EGD7A::B�<:G>8=I:�KG6<:C�(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�KG6<:C�O>?C�:;;:8I>:K:G�DE�<:KD:A:CH�K6C�:><:CL66G9:�:C�68I>:�EA6CC>C<�96C�EGD7A::B<:G>8=I:�KG6<:C�

Page 22: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

22!

���><JJG��� �� �H@�-:AA� &6IG>M� �0=>IBDG:�� ��� ��� L66G7>?� =:I� G:8=I:G� 7DK:C@L69G6CI� 9:�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� �H@>C<�!DL�ID� KG6<:C� 7:K6I� :C� =:I� A>C@:G� 7DK:C@L69G6CI� 9:� EGD7A::B<:G>8=I:�KG6<:C��H@>C<�0=N���L��>�3=�>2<9?12�>23=�-98>38?381�:<9-/==�90�63=>/8381��=/6/->381��+8.�,?36.381�98�>2/�-63G8>K=�6+81?+1/�>2+>�>2/<+:3=>=�+8.�-63G8>�>91/>2/<�-9�-98=><?->�8/A�7/+8381=�+8.�8/A�:9==3,363>3/=�09<�=96?>398=M��%96?>398��9-?=/.�&2/<+:C�&</+>7/8>� +8?+6�09<�)9<5381�A3>2��8.3@3.?+6=���������,6B:CK6II:C9� @JCC:C� L:� HI:AA:C� 96I� (-� ::C� E6HH:C9� I=:G6E:JI>H8=� 8DC8:EI� 7>:9I�� 7>?� 9:� G:8:CI:�K>H>:H�DE�GDJL��� ��� +DJLI=:G6E>:���A�B:I�6A�A>?@:C�:G�<:CD:<�G:9:C:C�I:�O>?C�DB�I:�K:G@:CC:C�>C�=D:K:GG:�(-�=:I�=6C9:A>C<HG:E:GID>G:�7>?�GDJLEGD7A:B6I>:@� 6A� K:GG>?@I� D;� >C� 9:� ID:@DBHI� ODJ� @JCC:C� K:GG>?@:C� %6I:C� L:� ::GHI� 9:� =J>9><:�>CI:GK:CI>:H�C69:G�7:@>?@:C��

��� !J>9><:�7:=6C9:AHIG6I:<>:SC�7> ? ��<:8DBEA>8::G9:��GDJL��

$:>?H:G��/6C�9:C��DJI�:C��D:A:C��������7:HEG:@:C�::C�66CI6A�:;;:8I>:K:�7:=6C9:A>C<HHIG6I:<>:SC�7>?�<:8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL� � !:I� <:B::CH8=6EE:A>?@:� 9D:A� K6C� 6AA:� EHN8=DI=:G6E:JI>H8=:� 7:C69:G>C<:C�K6C� <:8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL� >H� KDA<:CH� =:C� =:I� 66CE6@@:C� K6C� K:GB>?9>C<G:68I>:H� �:O:� @JCC:C�7:IG:@@>C<�=:77:C�DE��

• /:GB>?9>C<�K6C�9:�G:6A>I:>I�K6C�=:I�DK:GA>?9:C�• /:GB>?9>C<�K6C�<:KD:A:CH�• /:GB>?9>C<�K6C�7:E66A9:�H>IJ6I>:H�D;�KDDGL:GE:C�• /:GB>?9>C<�K6C�EG6I:C�DK:G�=:I�<:A:9:C�K:GA>:H�

�:�GDJL:C9:�K:GIDDCI�7>?�<:8DBEA>8::G9:�GDJL�::C�DC9:G�G:68I>:�D;�::C�DK:GG:68I>:��D:A:C� 7:C69GJ@I� =:I� 7:A6C<� DB� ::GHI� 66C968=I� I:� 7:HI:9:C� 66C� Z� =:I� K:G=66A[� K6C� 9:� 8A>SCI� B:I�7:IG:@@>C<�IDI�=:I�K:GA>:H�DB���G:9:C:C��

� 9:�I=:G6E:JI�@G>?<I�DE�9:O:�B6C>:G�B::G�O>8=I�DE�9:�EGD7A:B6I>H8=:�:BDI>:H�K6C�9:�8A>SCI� 9:� I=:G6E:JI� @G>?<I� O>8=I� DE� 9:� ;68IDG:C� 9>:� BD<:A>?@� I:C� <GDC9HA6<� A><<:C� 66C� 9:�

K:GB>?9>C<HG:68I>:H��OD6AH�6C<HI�KDDG�8DCIGDA:K:GA>:H�� �:�I=:G6E:JI�@G>?<I�O>8=I�DE�9>H;JC8I>DC:A:�8D<C>I>:H�9>:�::C�GDA�HE:A:C�>C�9:�EGD7A:B6I>:@�� �:� I=:G6E:JI�@6C�7:I:G�HI6GI:C�B:I�::C�CDC�9>G:8I>:K:� >CI:GK:CI>:�!:I�B:I::C�8DC;GDCI:G:C�

K6C�9:�8A>SCI�B:I�E>?CA>?@:�HI>BJA>�@6C�9:�@6CH�DE�K:GB>?9>C<�K:G<GDI:C�� !:I�K:G7:I:GI�9:�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�G:A6I>:��

�)6H�C6�66C968=I�I:�=:77:C�7:HI::9�66C�Z�=:I�K:G=66A[�>H�=:I�HI6GI:C�K6C�8D<C>I>:K:�I=:G6E>:�6A�D;�C>:I�>C�8DB7>C6I>:�B:I�:MEDHJG:�:A:B:CI:C�L6I��D:A:C��/6C�9:C��DJI��:C�$:>?H:G��������7:IG:;I��9:�?J>HI:��

Page 23: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

23!

7:=6C9:A>C<� 7>?� <:8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL� $:>?H:G�� �D:A:C� :C� /6C� 9:C� �DJI� ������� B6@:C� 966G7>?�66CKJAA:C9� <:7GJ>@� K6C� 6C9:G:� >CI:GK:CI>:B:I=D9:C� OD6AH� H8=G>?;DE9G68=I:C�� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� G>IJ:A:C�:C�>B6<>C6I>:�"C9>:C�CD9><��7>?�8DBEA>86I>:H��>H�B:9>86I>:�<:TC9>8::G9��!:C9G>@H���!DD<9J>C��������$:>?H:G�� K6C� �DJI� :C� �D:A:C� <66C� J>I9GJ@@:A>?@� J>I� K6C� =:I� B:9>H8=:� BD9:A� 2>?� L:G@:C� B:I�K:GB>?9>C<H9D:A:C��966G�L66G�?:�A6HI�K6C�=:7I�:C�K6C6;�L>AI�#J>HI�=:I�L:G@:C�66C�ID:C69:G>C<H9D:A:C�A>?@I�::C�6C9:G:��C>:I�<:CD:B9:�DEI>:��>C�9:O:�EGD7A:B6I>:@��:C�ID:E6HH>C<�9>:�<:7GJ>@I�LDG9I�K6CJ>I�=:I�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I�9:C@:C�:C�L:G@:C�

�� -D:E6H766G=:>9�(-�7> ? �GDJL��

"CB>99:AH�=:77:C�K:A:C�B:I�=:I�(-�BD9:A�<:SME:G>B:CI::G9�:C�7A>?@I�9:�:;;:8I>K>I:>I�K6C�(-�7>CC:C�9>K:GH:�8DCI:MI:C���G6C@A>C��-G:EE:G�� >C<:G>8=����&8��DAAJB�� �� �� >C<:G>8=���):I:GHDC��>C�EG:HH���<::HI:A>?@:� <:ODC9=:>9�� DC9:GL>?H�� B6C6<:B:CI�� ODG<� :C� L:AO>?C�� B66IH8=6EE:A>?@� L:G@�� HEDGI� :I8�/DDG� ::C� KDAA:9><� DK:GO>8=I� K6C� :;;:8IHIJ9>:H� K:GL>?O:C� L:� C66G� 9:� ,DAJI>DC� �D8JH:9� -=:G6EN��-G:6IB:CI�&6CJ:A�;DG�0DG@>C<�L>I=�"C9>K>9J6AH��H:8DC9�/:GH>DC�� �����K6C�9:�,DAJI>DC��D8JH:9��G>:;�-=:G6EN� �HHD8>6I>DC� �,��-��� (EK6AA:C9� >H� =:I� DCI7G:@:C� K6C� <:<:K:CH� :C� DC9:GOD:@:C� I6K�GDJLI=:G6E>:��"CB>99:AH�EA:>I:C�9>K:GH:�DC9:GOD:@:GH��L66GDC9:G��':>B:N:G���DC6CCD�:C�!DD<=:��KDDG�::C�6C9:G:�K>H>:�DE�=:I�GDJLEGD8:H��L66G7>?�B::G�66C968=I�>H�KDDG�ODL:A�B:6C>C<�B6@>C<�EGD8:HH:C��K::G@G68=I��6AH� 9:� >BE68I� K6C� EDH>I>:K:� :BDI>:H� 7>?� GDJL:C9:C� !:I� GDJLE6G69><B6� 7A>?;I� >C� 7:L:<>C<�� 9:�I>?9H<::HI� KDA<:C9� �:C� K:G6C9:G:C9:� K>H>:� DE� GDJL� KG66<I� BD<:A>?@� ::C� K:G6C9:G9:� K>H>:� DE�=JAEK:GA:C>C<�$6C�(-�=>:G>C�::C�L66G9:KDAA:�GDA��<66C��HE:A:C���

� �� 0:A@:�HIJ9>:H�O> ?C�:G�7:@:C9�I:C�66CO>:C�K6C�(-�6AH��� 7:=6C9:A>C<HHIG6I:<>:�7> ? ��<:8DBEA>8::G9:��GDJL��

� G6N� :I� 6A� � ����� ����� DC9:GOD8=I� =:I� <:7GJ>@� K6C�(-� >C� <GD:EH7>?::C@DBHI:C� K6C� GDJL:C9:C�7>CC:C�9:�8DCI:MI� K6C�::C�EA6II:A6C9H<:B::CI:� ��:� INE:G:C9:� >CI:GK:CI>:H� K6C�(-�LDG9:C�DD@� >C�9:O:�H:II>C<�ID:<:E6HI��K6C�?D>C>C<��=DJ9>C<�K6C�C>:I�L:I:C��B>G6@:AKG66<��K>C9:C�K6C�J>IODC9:G>C<:C��HI:AA:C�K6C�8DE>C<�KG6<:C��HI:AA:C�K6C�H8=66AKG6<:C�:C�=:I�<:K:C�K6C�8DBEA>B:CI:C�/DA<:CH� G6N�>H�(-� 7>?ODC9:G� <D:9� ID:E6H766G� 7>?� <GD:EHI=:G6E>:� KDDG� GDJL:C9:C� �66G7>?� B66@I� O>?� <::C�DC9:GH8=:>9�C66G�GDJL�KDGB�.>I<6C<HEJCI�>H�9:�E:GHDDCA>?@:�JC>:@:�9:;>C>I>:�K6C�=:I�EGD7A::B�:C�9:�GJ>BI:� KDDG� 8DCHIGJ8I>:� K6C� >:9:GH� >C9>K>9J:A:� L:G@:A>?@=:>9� <:76H::G9� DE� 9:� :><:C� E:G8:EI>:� DE�BD<:A>?@=:9:C�:C�<:G:;A:8I::G9� >C�=:I�E:GHDDCA>?@�K:GI:A9:�K:G=66A��AA:�<GD:EHA:9:C�7:TCKAD:9:C�9:�G>8=I>C<� :C� J>I@DBHI:C� K6C� =:I� <GD:EHEGD8:H� !:I� 66C7DG:C� K6C� =JAE7GDCC:C� :C� 7GJ>@76G:� 8DE>C<�B:8=6C>HB:C�LDG9:C�9DDG�9:�<GD:EHA:9:C�KDGB<:<:K:C���:��6HIDG�:C� JI:GB6C�� �����DC9:GOD8=I:C�9:�7GJ>@766G=:>9�K6C�9:�(-�7>CC:C�9:�8DCI:MI�K6C�;6B>A>:H�9>:�DB�A:G:C�<66C�B:I�9:�O:A;BDDG9�K6C�::C�K6C�=66G�A:9:C�(B�IL::�G:9:C:C�O>?C��6HIDG�:C� JI:GB6C�DK:GIJ><9�K6C�9:�L66G9:�K6C�(-�>C�9:O:�H>IJ6I>:��

� �:�DE�@G68=I�<:76H::G9:�7:C69:G>C<�K6C�(-�E6HI�7>?� ;6B>A>:H�9>:�DB�BD:I:C�<66C�B:I�9:�O:A;BDDG9�K6C�::C�K6C�=66G�A:9:C��DB96I�J>I�DC9:GOD:@�7A>?@I�96I�9:G<:A>?@:�;6B>A>:H�DK:G�::C�C6IJJGA>?@:�K::G@G68=I�7:H8=>@@:C���6K>H���'DA:C�!D:@H:B6�� �����

(-�=::;I�::C�8DUE:G6I>:K:� >CHI::@��>I�E6HI�<D:9�7>?� ;6B>A>:I=:G6E>:� >C�O>?C�6A<:B::C=:>9�:C�HE:8>66A�7>?�;6B>A>:A:9:C�9>:�::C�:><:C�JC>:@�GDJLEGD8:H�9DDGB6@:C�

�6HIDG� :C� JI:GB6C� 7:H8=G>?K:C� �� 86HJHH:C� L66G7>?� ;6B>A>:A:9:C� ���� H:HH>:H� L:G@:C� B:I� <:7GJ>@�B6@>C<�K6C�9:�(-��2>?�7:C69GJ@@:C�6AA:G::GHI�96I�=:I�K6C�7:A6C<�>H�DB�7>?�:C�C66HI�9:�8A>SCI�I:�7A>?K:C�ZHI66C[� � >C� O>?C�=D:96C><=:>9�� ODA6C<�6AH�CD9><� >H�� <D�DC�7JI� K:GN�HADLAN�2>?� 7:K:HI><:C�=>:GB::�9:�J>I@DBHI:C�J>I�::G9:G�DC9:GOD:@�K6C��JIA:G�:C�)DL:GH�������� � �����L)2/8�>2/�3==?/�3=�1<3/0��3>�3=�/=:/-3+66C�37:9<>+8>�>9�79@/�+>�>2/�-63G8>K=�:+-/��",@39?=6C��>2/�

Page 24: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

24!

�</3809<-381� ,/2+@39?<=� 90>/8� +==9-3+>/.� A3>2� =96?>398�09-?=/.� >2/<+:C�� =736/=�� /B-6+7+>398=�� +8.�1/=>?</=��8//.�>9,�/�>98/.�.9A8�09<�>2/�1<3/@381�-63G8>���8C�>/8./8-C�09<�>2/�>2/<+:3=>�>9,�/�+2+/.�90�>2/�-63G8>�� 9<� >9�738373D/�:+38��A366� =2?>�.9A8� >2/�:<9-/==�+8.�:9==3,6C� </=?6>� 38� >2/�-63G8>�.<9::381�9?>N:</7+>?</6C�M���66GC66HI�9>:CI�9:�I=:G6E:JI�O>?C� I66A<:7GJ>@�66C�I:�E6HH:C�66C�9:�H>IJ6I>:�:C� >H�=:I� ?J>HI�7:A6C<G>?@�DB�Z�8DE>C<[�KG6<:C�I:�HI:AA:C��I:�KG6<:C�=D:�=:I�8A>SCI:C�AJ@I�DB�:G<:G�I:�KDDG@DB:C�:C�C6�I:�KG6<:C�=D:�=:I�8A>SCI:C� AJ@I�DB�=JC� A:K:C�6AL::G�DE�I:�@JCC:C�E6@@:C�96<�C6�96<� �2>?�69K>H:G:C�DB�K::A�66C968=I� I:� 7:HI:9:C� 66C� 9:� Z� @>?@� DE� 9:�L:G:A9[� K6C� 9:� GDJL:C9:�� DD@� >C� HE>G>IJ::A� DEO>8=I� /::A�LDG9I�<:KG66<9�K6C�9:� I=:G6E:JI�7>?�=:I�HJ7I>:A�K:GA:<<:C�K6C�9:�66C968=I�DE�L6I� >H��C66G�L6I�ODJ�@JCC:C�O>?C_��-:CHADII:�7A>?@I�(-�DD@�<:H8=>@I�7>?�::C�B::G�HE:8>;>:@:�9D:A<GD:E�6AH�;6B>A>:H�9>:�DB�L>AA:C�<66C�B:I�9:�O:A;BDDG9�K6C�::C�K6C�9:�A:9:C��L66G7>?�=:I�C6KG6<:C�K6C�BD<:A>?@:�66CL:O><:�=JAE7GDCC:C�::C�<GDI:�GDA�HE::AI�:K:C6AH�=:I�7:C69GJ@@:C�K6C�9:�K::G@G68=I�K6C�;6B>A>:A:9:C��:��6HIDG� :C� JI:GB6C� HAJ>I:C� O>8=� 66C� 7>?� 9:�L66GH8=JL>C<� K6C� )>:G8N� :I� 6A� � ����� <:G>8=I� 66C�HDBB><:� I=:G6E:JI:C� 9>:� 9:� I:8=C>:@:C� 7>CC:C� 9:� (-� A>?@:C� I:� B>C>B6A>H:G:C� L66G9DDG� =:I� G>H>8D�7:HI66I�96I�66CL:O><:�E>?CA>?@:�<:KD:A:CH�LDG9:C�<:C:<::G9���L� %96?>398�09-?=/.� -6383-3+8=� 8//.� >9� 589A� 29A� >9� +-589A6/.1/�� 4938� A3>2�� +8.� </=:98.� >9� -63G8>�/79>398=� +=� A/66� +=� >29?12>=� +8.� +->398=N)/� ,/63/@/� 3>� -+8� ,/� 2/6:0?6� >9� </0<+7/� /79>398=� +=�=></812>=���?>�89>�+66/�/79>398=�=29?6.�,/�>+65/.�+A+C�38�>2/<+:C��%97/�>37/=�3>�3=�,/=>�=37:6C�>9�,/�A3>2�-63G8>=�38�>2/3<�./=:+3<��1<3/0��9<�./:</==398L���,>BDC�� �����=::;I�O>?C�7:K>C9>C<:C�DK:G�(-�:C�GDJL�>C�9:�8DCI:MI�K6C�=DHE>8:H�7:H8=G:K:C�>C�O>?C�7D:@�\,DAJI>DC��D8JH:9�)G68I>8:� >C�:C9�D;� A>;:��� G>:;��DJCH:A>C<]�$DGB6C�H8=G>?;I� >C�=:I�KDDGLDDG9�K6C�9>I�7D:@�����M3>� 3=� 7?-2� 79</� >2+8� >2+>�� �>K=� +� ,995� +,9?>� 29:/� +8.� 1<9A>2� 38� >2/� 0+-/� 90� ./+>2� +8.�69==NN#/<2+:=�79=>� 37:9<>+8>�� 3>� 3=�+�,995�+,9?>�+66� >2/�.300/</8>�A+C=� >2+>�:/9:6/�./+6�A3>2� 69==�+8.�,/</+@/7/8>�I�89�A+C�,/381�>2/�<312>�90�A<981�A+C��+8.�29A�=96?>398�09-?=/.�,<3/0�>2/<+:C�-+8�,/� 2/6:381� 38� 7+5381� =/8=/� 90� >2/� /B:/<3/8-/� >2+>� :/9:6/� 19� >2<9?12� A2/8� 0+-381� ./+>2� 90�+--97:+8C381�+�0+736C�7/7,/<�9<�0<3/8.�A29�3=�0+-381�./+>2M���,>BDC� DC9:GH8=G>?;I� >C� O>?C� DC9:GOD:@� =:I� 7:A6C<� K6C� I66A� :C� =:I� EGD8:H� K6C� 8D�8DCHIGJ8I>C<� ":9:G�LDDG9� 96I� <:HEGD@:C� LDG9I� K:G@G>?<I� ::C� 7:I:@:C>H� >C� 9:� 8DCI:MI� O:A;� :C� =::;I� 966GDB� <::C�K6HIHI66C9:�7:I:@:C>H��(CO:�@>?@�DE�9:�L:G:A9��DCO:�L:G@:A>?@=:>9�K:G6C9:GI�8DCI>CJ���L� &2/</� 3=� C/>� +89>2/<� @3/A��A23-2� 3=� ?=?+66C� 6+,/6/.�:9=>�� =><?->?<+63=7�� >2+>� =?11/=>=�� =37:6C�� >2+>�6+81?+1/�3=�</+63>C�L���:G<����:�,=6O:G��������E�����)G6I:C�DK:G�E>?C��B66@I�9:�E>?C�G:SA:G��)G6I:C�DK:G�EGD7A:B:C��8G:S:GI�EGD7A:B:C��!:>H:C7:G<����� ��!:I� L6H� !:>H:C7:G<� 9>:� >C� O>?C� ZDCO:@:G=:>9HEG>C8>E:[� HI:AI�Z� �:� D7H:GK6IDG� 7:TCKAD:9I� =:I�<:D7H:GK::G9:���B6L�=:I<::C�L66G�DE�<:;D8JHI�LDG9I��C::BI�>C�7:A6C<G>?@=:>9�ID:�!D:� 7:I:G� ?:� J>IODC9:G>C<:C�� =JAE7GDCC:C� :C� <:L:CHI:� ID:@DBHI9D:A:C� 7:H8=G>?;I�� =D:� G:SA:G� 9:O:�LDG9:C���:G<����:�,=6O:G���������:�<:G::9H8=6EH@>HI�K6C�9:�(-�I=:G6E:JI�7:K6I�K::A�>CI:GK:CI>:H�B:I�KG6<:C��9>:�=>?� >C�@6C�O:II:C�DB�9:�8A>SCI�I:�=:AE:C�O>?C�66CL:O><:�@69:G�I:�DCIB6CI:A:C�:C�::C�E6HH:C9:G�;G6B:�I:�8D��8DCHIGJ:G:C���->?9:CH� 9:�,��-���DC;:G:CI>:� >C� -DGDCID���6C696� ����� EG:H:CI::GI� ,>BDC� O>?C� :GK6G>C<:C� >C� ::C�LDG@H=DE��

Page 25: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

25!

0:� @JCC:C� 8DC8AJ9:G:C� 96I� DC9:GOD:@� C66G� (-� 7>?� GDJL� BDC9?:HB66I� LDG9I� J>I<:KD:G9� .>I� 9:�=>:G7DK:C� K:GB:A9:� HIJ9>:H� 7A>?@I� L:A� 9:� ID:E6H766G=:>9� K6C� (-� 7>?� GDJL� 7>?� 9>K:GH:� 9D:A<GD:E:C��>C9>K>9J:A:�8A>SCI:C��;6B>A>:H��HJEEDGI<GD:E:C��:C�KDGB:C�K6C�GDJL���

� � 06I� >H�:G�7:@:C9�DK:G�=:I�:;;:8I�K6C�(-�6AH�7:=6C9:A>C<H��HIG6I:<>:�7> ? ��<:8DBEA>8::G9:��GDJL��

�.>I�A>I:G6IJJGHIJ9>:�C66G�(-�7>?�GDJL�7A>?@I�9:�6;L:O><=:>9�K6C�:;;:8I�HIJ9>:H�0:A�A>?@:C�9:�:GK6G>C<:C�:C� G:HJAI6I:C� J>I� 9:� ::G9:G� DBH8=G:K:C� DC9:GOD:@:C� EDH>I>:;� I:� O>?C�� B66G� 9:� DEO:I� :C� J>IKD:G>C<�:GK6C� O>?C� L:I:CH8=6EE:A>?@� <:O>:C� DCKDA9D:C9:�� DB� :G� J>IHEG6@:C� :C� 8DC8AJH>:H� 66C� I:� @JCC:C�K:G7>C9:C�������������������������������������������

Page 26: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

26!

�DC8AJH>:��'>:JL:� K>H>:H� DE� GDJL� 7G:C<:C� ::C� K:GH8=J>K>C<� I:L::<� >C� 9:� L>?O:� L66GDE� B:C� Z� @>?@I[� C66G� 9:�GDJL:C9:� �:� GDJL:C9:� LDG9I� C>:I� B::G� <:O>:C� 6AH� %"#��'�� KDDGL:GE� B66G� &��0�+$�'�� :C�&����'$�'�� KDDGL:GE� 7>CC:C� 9:� 8DCI:MI� L66G>C� =>?O>?� O>8=� 7:<::;I� D;� L>A� <66C� 7:<:K:C� �:�GDJL:C9:�>H�:GK6G>C<H@JC9><:�:C�7:I:@:C>HK:GA:C:G�>C�O>?C=66G�:><:C�%:K:CHK:G=66A��:�I=:G6E:JI�>H�:GK6G>C<H@JC9><:� >C�=:I�=:AE:C�G:8DCHIGJ:G:C�K6C�9:�7:I:@:C>H�K6C�=:I� A:K:C�C6�::C�K:GA>:H�7>CC:C�::C�K:G6C9:G9�E:GHDDCA>?@��8DCI:MIJ::A�:C�HE>G>IJ::A�HNHI::B�K6C�9:�GDJL:C9:��:�C>:JL:�K>H>:H�DE�GDJL� LDG9:C� HI:G@� 7:TCKAD:9� 9DDG� 9:� EDH>I>:K:� EHN8=DAD<>:� ��G:9:G>8@HDC�� ����� :C� =:I� HD8>66A�8DCHIGJ8I>K>HB:� �':>B:N:G�� ����� �:� >CO:I� K6C� =>:G66C� <:G:A6I::G9:� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�7:=6C9:AHIG6I:<>:SC� >H�K:GBD:9:A>?@�::C�@L:HI>:�K6C� I>?9�!:I�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�9:C@:C�:C�L:G@:C�7>:9I� K::A�BD<:A>?@=:9:C� DB�9:� 7GJ<� I:� KDGB:C� IJHH:C� 9:� C>:JL:� K>H>:H� DE� GDJL� :C� 7:=6C9:A>C<�(C9:GOD:@� C66G� DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I� L:G@:C� B:I� 8A>SCI:C� B:I� ::C� GDJLEGD7A:B6I>:@� >H� CD<� L:>C><�J>I<:KD:G9��;;:8IHIJ9>:H�C66G�(-�7>?�GDJL�O>?C�>C�DCO:�HIJ9>:�C>:I�<:KDC9:C��G�O>?C�L:A�>C9>86I>:H�KDDG�::C�EDH>I>:;�:;;:8I�K6C�(-�7>?�GDJL�� G6N�� ����� G6N�� �����,>BDC�� ������C9G:6H��,����C9G:6H����������� �� ���(C9:GOD:@9:H><CH� 9>:� 9:� :;;:8I>K>I:>I� K6C� GDJL7:=6C9:A>C<:C� 66CIDC:C� O>?C� ODL:A� HI6I>HI>H8=� 6AH�@A>C>H8=� G:A:K6CI� �>?� =:I� 7:E6A:C� K6C� 9:� :;;:8I>K>I:>I� K6C� ::C� GDJL7:=6C9:A>C<� >H� C>:I� 6AA::C� 9:�KDDGJ>I<6C<�DE�::C�B::I>CHIGJB:CI�K6C�7:A6C<��B66G�DD@�9:�KDDGJ>I<6C<�OD6AH�9:�8A>SCI�9:O:�:GK66GI���>I� KG66<I� DB� ::C� 8G:6I>:K:� DEADHH>C<� DB96I� EGDID8DAA:G>C<� 7>?� =:I� DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� L:G@:C�DC9:C@766G� >H�� <:O>:C� =:I� <:<:K:C� +6=� 3/>=� 83/>� A/<5>�� .9/� 3/>=� +8./<=� :C� 9:� -63G8>� 3=� /B:/<>�� �:�7:=6C9:A66G� :C� EGD;:HH>DC6A� O6A� B::G� J>I96<>C<� K>C9:C� C66G� 9:� OD:@ID8=I� C66G� L6I� :G� KDDG� 9:O:�HE:8>;>:@:�8A>SCI� >C�9:O:�HE:8>;>:@:�H>IJ6I>:�A/6�A/<5>��:�8A>SCI� >H�7>?�=:I�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I�L:G@:C� Z�DCIL:GE:G[�K6C�9:�7:=6C9:A>C<���2DG<KJA9><=:>9� >C� =:I� 66C<66C� :C� DC9:G=DJ9:C� K6C� ::C� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� G:A6I>:� 7>?� 8A>SCI:C� B:I�GDJLEGD7A:B6I>:@�>H�:K>9:CI�\(C:�HI:E�7:=>C9]��>H�>C�9:O:�8DCI:MI�O:A;H�CD<�I:�HC:A�&D<:A>?@�96I�::GHI��\,:K:G6A�,I:EH�C:MI�ID�I=:B]�::C�G:HE:8IKDAA:G:�DEI>:�@6C�O>?C��6;=6C@:A>?@�K6C�9:�=JAE7GDCC:C��L66G�9:�8A>SCI�<:7GJ>@�K6C�@6C�:C�L>A�B6@:C��-D:@DBHI><� DC9:GOD:@� C66G� DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I� L:G@:C� B:I� GDJL:C9:C� O6A� O>8=� BD:I:C� G>8=I:C� DE�ODL:A� =:I� I=:G6E>:�EGD8:H�� 6AH� DE� 9:� I=:G6E>:�J>I@DBHI� (E� 9:O:� B6C>:G� @6C� :G� >CO>8=I� K:G@G:<:C�LDG9:C�C66G�6HE:8I:C��9>:�KDDG�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�K:G6C9:G>C<�ODG<:C�7>?�GDJL:C9:C���-:GJ<@DB:C9�DE�9:�KG66<�>C�=D:K:GG:�(-�=:I�=6C9:A>C<HG:E:GID>G:�7>?�GDJLEGD7A:B6I>:@�6A�K:GG>?@I�D;�>C�9:�ID:@DBHI�ODJ�@JCC:C�K:GG>?@:C��@JCC:C�L:�=:I�KDA<:C9:�8DC8AJ9:G:C��

� (-�6AH�I=:G6E:JI>H8=:�>CI:GK:CI>:�7>?�GDJL�A>?@I�::C�L66G9:KDAA:�K:GG>?@>C<�I:�O>?C�� (-�LDG9I�CD<�C6JL:A>?@H�ID:<:E6HI�7>?�GDJLEGD7A:B6I>:@�/:GBD:9:A>?@�>H�9:�8DCI:MI�K6C�GDJL�

C>:I�KDDG9:=6C9�A><<:C9��:�7:C6B>C<�(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I�L:G@I�>C�9>I�DEO>8=I�DD@�C>:I�B::�� �:� G:8:CI:� GDJL� I=:DG>:SC� A>?@:C� EGD;:HH>DC6AH�� L:G@:C� >C� 9:� 8DCI:MI� K6C� GDJL�� CD<�

DCKDA9D:C9:�I:�=:77:C�7:G:>@I��66GB::� >H�:G�DCKDA9D:C9:�9G66<KA6@�DB�(-�7>?� GDJL� >C� I:�O:II:C�

(-�7>?�GDJL��__]@::E�>I�HADL]������

Page 27: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

27!

�'6LDDG9��\�__"@�G:6A>H::G9:�B:��B:I�=:I�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I�<:968=I:<D:9�>C�B>?C�68=I:G=DD;9��96I� >@� �6C9:GH�C66G�GDJLK:GL:G@>C<�L>A9:�@>?@:C��B:I�B::G�66C968=I�KDDG�K::G@G68=I�:C�EDH>I>:K:�:BDI>:��:C�7:HADDI�B>?C�:>C9L:G@HIJ@�$DGON7H@>�GDC9DB�9>I�DC9:GL:GE�I:�DG<6C>H:G:C]��� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � &6G?6����6I� L6H�� CJ� >@� :GDE� I:GJ<� @>?@�� ::C� <D:9� >9::� !:I� DC9:GL:GE� (-� 7>?� GDJL� HI66I� CD<� >C� 9:�@>C9:GH8=D:C:C� :C� 6AH� OD96C><� 9:� BD:>I:� L66G9� DB� ::CH� C69:G� DC9:G� 9:� AD:E� I:� C:B:C� "C� 9>I�:>C9L:G@HIJ@� =:7� >@� <:EGD7::G9� DB� I:� 68=I:G=6A:C� D;� :G� \ID:@DBHI]� ODJ� @JCC:C� O>?C� KDDG� =:I�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�9:C@:C�:C�L:G@:C�>C�9:�8DCI:MI�K6C�=J>9><:�GDJLK>H>:H�):GHDDCA>?@�7:C� >@�:GK6C�DK:GIJ><9�� 96I� 9>I� O:@:G� =:I� <:K6A� >H� �:� 7:C6B>C<� Z(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I[� >H� >C� 9:� H:II>C<� K6C�GDJLK:GL:G@>C<�::C�B>HA:>9:C9:��G� >H�<::C�K:GA>:H�K6C�::C�C67:HI66C9:�DE�I:� ADHH:C��:C�6C9:G:�7:C6B>C<�A><I�DD@�C>:I�ODB66G�KDDG�=:I�DEG6E:C�!:I�<66I�J>I:G66G9�DB�=:I�<:968=I:<D:9���>I�:>C9L:G@HIJ@�=::;I�B:�K::A�<:7G68=I��C>:JL:� >CO>8=I:C��HID;� IDI�C69:C@:C��9>H8JHH>:H�� >CHE>G6I>:��7:<G>E�:C�G:HE:8I�KDDG�=:C�9>:�9>I�EGD8:H�=:77:C�9DDG<:B66@I�D;�:G�CD<�B>99:C�>C�O>II:C���:�=D:K::A=:>9�A>I:G6IJJG�DK:G�GDJL�L6H�K:A:�B6A:C�B::G��96C�>@�KDDG�BD<:A>?@�=69�<:=DJ9:C�.G:C�=:7�>@�B:�:G>C�K:G9>:EI�!:I�:C:�6GI>@:A�L6H�CD<�>CI:G:HH6CI:G�96C�=:I�6C9:G:��.>I:>C9:A>?@� =:7� >@� B:O:A;� :GID:� BD:I:C� O:II:C�� DB� =:I� DC9:GL:GE� 6;� I:� 76@:C:C� !:I� K:G9:G�DK:G9:C@:C�:C�J>IL:G@:C�K6C�K:G9:G:�8DC8G:I:�HI6EE:C�G>8=I>C<�(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�+DJLI=:G6E>:� >H�::C�BDD>�9D:A�KDDG�>C�9:�ID:@DBHI�0>:�L::I__9:�::GHI:�HI6E�>H�<:O:I���&:I� =:I� 6;GDC9:C� K6C� 9>I� :>C9L:G@HIJ@� @DBI� :G� DD@� ::C� :>C9:� 66C� �� ?66G� =::C� :C�L::G� G>?9:C� K6C� D:H�G6HH8=66I� C66G� �GJ<<:� �6CK6C@:A>?@� O6<� >@� :G� I:<:C� DE� DB� HI::9H� >C� ::C� =DI:A� I:�DK:GC68=I:C��B66G�9:�HI69��GJ<<:�=::;I�B:�K::A�A:J@:�G:HI6JG6CI?:H�:C�EG68=I><:�EA:@?:H�DE<:A:K:G9���-:CHADII:�L>A� >@�9:�9D8:CI:C�K6C�=:I�$DGON7H@>� "CHI>IJJI�7:96C@:C�KDDG�=JC� >CHE>G:G:C9:� >C7G:C<�:C�7>?9G6<:� >C� 9:� 6;<:ADE:C� �� ?6G:C� !:I� DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:� 9:C@:C� :C� L:G@:C� =::;I� B>?� E:GHDDCA>?@�<:KDGB9�:C�O6A�B>?�DD@�>C�9:�ID:@DBHI�7A>?K:C�>CHE>G:G:C����6I�>@�.�DD@�<6�B>HH:C___��������������

Page 28: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

28!

�"CI:GK>:L�B:I�"CHDD�$>B��:G<�� �����

�� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � �%>K>C<�6C9��N>C<�L>I=�&:6C>C<�

/1�� "�=:6G9�I=6I�NDJ�G:����N:6GH�DA9��6AI=DJ<=��"�LDJA9�C:K:G�=6K:�"��� �DC�I�H6N�I=6I���A6J<=H��/1�� (C:�LDJA9�C:K:G�@CDL�>I�7N�NDJG�:C:G<N�6C9�:CI=JH>6HB��"��� 1:H��"�6B�/1�� ,D�L=6I�9D�NDJ�I=>C@�NDJ�@CDL�67DJI�A>;:�6C9�67DJI�I=:G6EN�I=6I�NDJ�9>9C�I�@CDL� ��N:6GH�6<D��(G����N:6GH�6<D��"��� (=��6�ADI�-=:G:�6G:�<DD9�I=>C<H�67DJI�<:II>C<�DA9�1DJ�6G:�BJ8=�BDG:�8DB;DGI67A:�L>I=�NDJGH:A;�

-6@:�B:�DG� A:6K:�B:��" �B�6C�DA9�=6<�0=6I�9D�NDJ�:ME:8I��" �B�DA9�-6@:�>I �DG� A:6K:�> I � �" � ;::A�BDG:�8DB;DGI67A:�L>I=�BNH:A;� I=6C�L=:C�"�L6H�NDJC<:G�-6@:�B:�DG�A:6K:�B:��"�B�6C�DA9�=6<�0=6I�9D�NDJ�:ME:8I��"�B�DA9�-6@:�>I�DG�A:6K:�>I��"�;::A�BDG:�8DB;DGI67A:�L>I=�BNH:A;�I=6C�L=:C�"�L6H�NDJC<:G�-=6I�H�K:GN�C>8:�"�;><JG:�>;�NDJ�9DC�I�A>@:�B:���L:AA��I=6I�H�IDD�769��"�AA�HDB:=DL�<D�DC��6C9�NDJ�L>AA�<D�DC��-=6I�H�@>C9�D;�6�8DB;DGI67A:�;::A>C<�"�I=>C@�NDJ�<:I�6�9>;;:G:CI�E:GHE:8I>K:�67DJI�A>;:��IDD��1DJ�7:8DB:�BJ8=�BDG:�6L6G:�D;�NDJG�7D9N��>I�H�CDI�L=6I�>I�JH:9�ID�7:�"�<:I�I>G:9�:6H>:G��"�JH:9�ID�7:�6�K:GN�:C:G<:I>8�E:GHDC�"�HI>AA�6B��7JI�JH:9�ID�7:�:K:C�BDG:�HD��"�B�DC:�D;�I=:H:�K:GN�=><=�:C:G<N�E:DEA:��"�B�?JHI�B69:�I=6I�L6N���JI�"�86C�I:AA�"�C::9�ID�HADL�9DLC�6�A>IIA:�7>I�BDG:�I=6C�"�JH:9�ID��1DJ�I=>C@�67DJI�:C9�D;�A>;:�BDG:�

/1�� 0=6I�@>C9�D;�I=DJ<=IH�9D�NDJ�=6K:�67DJI�I=6I��"��� !DL�9D�"�L6CI�ID�9>:���H�>;�"�=6K:�6CN�8DCIGDA�DK:G�I=6I��

"�9DC�I�=6K:�6CN�8DCIGDA�DK:G�I=6I��JCA:HH�"�9:8>9:�ID�8DBB>I�HJ>8>9:��-=6I�H�I=:�DCAN�8DCIGDA�"�8DJA9�EDHH>7AN�=6K:��JI�"�9DC�I�I=>C@�"�LDJA9�9D�I=6I�"�9DC�I�=6K:�6CN�8DCIGDA�,D�" �B�HI > A A � IGN>C<�ID�688:EI�I=6I�� I=6I�" �9DC �I�=6K:�8DCIGDA�DK:G�=DL�"�9>:�,D�"�B�HI>AA�IGN>C<�ID�688:EI�I=6I��I=6I�"�9DC�I�=6K:�8DCIGDA�DK:G�=DL�"�9>:�

/1�� 1DJ�A:6GC:9�I=:�IG>8@�L>I=�I=:�L=>I:�G6IH��"��� "�HJEEDH:�"�8DJA9�JH:�I=6I��"�B6N�9D�I=6I��7:86JH:�>I�LDG@:9���

�JI�NDJ�I=>C@�67DJI�L=6I�>H�I=:�B:6C>C<�D;�A>;:�>C�6�K:GN�9>;;:G:CI�L6N�L=:C�NDJ�<:I�DA9:G�/1�� �DG�:M6BEA:��"��� 0=6I�6B�"�A>K>C<�;DG��0=6I�>H�I=:�EJGEDH:�D;�A>K>C<�DC��0=6I�9D�"�L6CI�ID�9D�L>I=�I=:�I>B:�"�=6K:�A:;I���

-=6I�@>C9�D;�HIJ;;�"�9�A>@:�ID�7:�67A:�ID�"�9DC�I�@CDL�L=:I=:G�"�AA�=6K:�I=:�DEEDGIJC>IN�DG�CDI�ID�H6N��DC�BN�9:6I=7:9��I=>H�E>8IJG:�D;�DC:�9N>C<��HJGGDJC9:9�7N�;G>:C9H�6C9�;6B>ANL=D�@CDLH���"I�B6N�C:K:G�=6EE:C�I=6I�L6N��"�9�A>@:�ID�7:�67A:�ID�H6N�"�=69�6�<DD9�A>;:��C9�L=6I�H�I=:�9:;>C>I>DC�D;�6�<DD9�A>;:���"�B69:�HDB:�9>;;:G:C8:�-=6I�H�>I�";�"�8DJA9�?JHI�H6N�I=6I��"�K:�B69:�HDB:�9>;;:G:C8:�7:86JH:�"�K:�7::C�=:G:�>C�I=>H�LDGA9��%>;:�>H�6�A>IIA:�7>I�7:II:G�6C9�"�8DCIG>7JI:9�ID�I=6I�"�I=>C@�I=6I�LDJA9�7:�6�<DD9�A>;:�

���������

Page 29: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

29!

+:;:G:CI>:H���C9G:6H�������C9G:6H��,���������/+<>�90�>2/� 38.=��&D67��.-�+:6A�):DEA:�)G:HH��C9G:6H�������C9G:6H��,�� �� ��+:HDAK>C<� G>:;��/���6CC>C@����� �����":69==381=1/<3-2>/�@<+1/8��!6C97D:@�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�<:HEG:@HKD:G>C<�������BHI:G96B��!6G8DJGI��:G<��"$�� ������3@381�+8.��C381�A3>2� /+8381��"CI:GK>:L�B:I�"CHDD�$>B��:G<�LLLEHN8=DI=:G6ENC:I�

�:G<�� "$� �� �DA6C�� 1� � �� �� �/� :<+5>345� @+8� 9:69==381/8� �� :K6AH7:H8=G>?K>C<:C� J>I� 9:�DEADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�<:HEG:@HI=:G6E>:��,L:IH���2:>IA>C<:G��%>HH:�

�:G<��"$�����:�,=6O:G��,��������&6@>C<�CJB7:GH�I6A@�%6C<J6<:�>C�-=:G6EN�"C�,��G>:9B6C���9���&2/�8/A�6+81?+1/�90�-2+81/���98=><?->3@/�-966+,9<+>398=�38�:=C-29>2/<+:C��EE��� ���':L�1DG@�� J>A;DG9�)G:HH�

�D:A:C�� )��� $:>?H:G�� #� 9:� �� /6C� 9:C� �DJI�� #� ������� �68IDG:C� 9>:� =:I� DCIHI66C� :C� 7:ADDE� K6C�<:8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL� 7:TCKAD:9:C� "C� #� K6C� 9:C� �DJI�� )�� �D:A:C� �� #� 9:� $:>?H:G� ��9H����/2+8./6381==><+>/13/G8�,34�1/-97:63-//<./� <9?A�/8�@/<63/=@/<A/<5381�EE��������!DJI:C���D=C�,I6;A:J�K6C�%D<=JB�

�D:A:C�� )��� /6C� 9:C� �DJI�� #� �� $:>?H:G�� #� 9:� ������� �D<C>I>:K:� I=:G6E>:� :C� :MEDHJG:� 7>?�<:8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL� "C� #� K6C� 9:C� �DJI�� )�� �D:A:C� �� #� 9:� $:>?H:G� ��9H��� �/2+8./6381=�=><+>/13/G8�,34� 1/-97:63-//<./� <9?A�/8�@/<63/=@/<A/<5381� �EE��������!DJI:C���D=C�,I6;A:J�K6C�%D<=JB�

�DC6CCD�� ������$6AIB6C��,�� �����-=:�K6G>:I>:H�D;�<G>:;�:ME:G>:C8:��6383-+6�#=C-29691C�$/@3/A�� ������Y����

�DC6CCD�� ��� �����&2/�">2/<�%3./�90�%+.8/==��0=6I�I=:�':L�,8>:C8:�D;��:G:6K:B:CI�-:AAH�.H��7DJI�%>;:��;I:G�%DHH�':L�1DG@���6H>8��DD@H�

�DLA7N��#���������9==��%+.8/==�+8.�./:</==398�/DA���%DHH��,69C:HH�6C9�9:EG:HH>DC�':L�1DG@���6H>8��DD@H��

�JIA:G�� 0+� �� )DL:GH�� $/� ������� ,DAJI>DC�;D8JH:9� <G>:;� I=:G6EN�� >C� ,� &>AA:G�� &� !J77A:� �� ���JC86C��:9H���+8.,995�90�%96?>398��9-?=/.��<3/0�&2/<+:C��,6C��G6C8>H8D�����#DHH:N��6HH�

�JGG>:G��#&��!DAA6C9��#&����':>B:N:G��+��� �����-=:�:;;:8I>K:C:HH�D;�7:G:6K:B:CI�>CI:GK:CI>DCH�L>I=�8=>A9G:C��6�B:I6�6C6ANI>8�G:K>:L�D;�8DCIGDAA:9�DJI8DB:�G:H:6G8=��9?<8+6�90��6383-+6��236.�+8.�+.96/=-/8>�#=C-29691C������ ��� ���

�6K>H��� ����'DA:C�!D:@H:B6��,��� �����%DHH�6C9�B:6C>C<��!DL�9D�E:DEA:�B6@:�H:CH:�D;�ADHH����7/<3-+8��/2+@39<+6�%-3/8>3=>������� ������

�:� �6HIGD�� ,� �� JI:GB6C�� #� � ����� ,DAJI>DC�;D8JH:9� I=:G6EN� ;DG� ;6B>A>:H� 8DE>C<� L>I=� HJ>8>9:���9?<8+6�90� +<3>+6�+8.��+736C�&2/<+:C�����������������

�:�,=6O:G��,��������#?>>381��300/</8-/�>9�)9<5�':L�1DG@��'DGIDC��:�,=6O:G��,��������)9<.=�A/</�9<3138+66C�7+13-�':L�1DG@��'DGIDC��:�,=6O:G�� ,����:G<�� "$� �������0=6I�LDG@H��+:B6G@H� DC� G:H:6G8=� 6HE:8IH� D;� HDAJI>DC�;D8JH:9�7G>:;�I=:G6EN���9?<8+6�90��+736C�&2/<+:C������� ��� ��

�G>8@HDC�� &!� "C� !6A:N�� #� ������� '8-97798� >2/<+:C�� >2/� :=C-23+><3-� >/-283;?/=� 90� 36>98� ����<3-5=98=��=>�/.8���':L�1DG@��'DGIDC�

�G6C@A>C�����-G:EE:G��-�,�� >C<:G>8=��0�#����&8�DAAJB��������9H��� �� ��%96?>398�09-?=/.�,<3/0�>2/<+:C����2+8.,995�90��/@3./8-/�,+=/.�:<+->3-/�':L�1DG@��(M;DG9�.C>K:GH>IN�)G:HH�

�G:9G>8@HDC����%��������0=6I�<DD9�6G:�EDH>I>K:�:BDI>DCH��$/@3/A�90��/8/<+6�#=C-29691C�� �����Y�����

�G:9G>8@HDC����%�� �����-=:�GDA:�D;�EDH>I>K:�:BDI>DCH�>C�EDH>I>K:�EHN8=DAD<N��-=:�7GD69:C��6C9�7J>A9�I=:DGN�D;�EDH>I>K:�:BDI>DCH��7/<3-+8�#=C-296913=>������ ��Y ��

�G:J9��,������������&DJGC>C<�6C9�B:A6C8=DA>6�"C�#�,IG68=:N���9���-=:�HI6C96G9�:9>I>DC�D;�I=:�8DBEA:I:�LDG@H�D;�,><BJC9��G:J9��/DA�����EE��� Y�����%DC9DC��!D<6GI=�)G:HH�

G6CI�� �� � �� �� &6@>C<� EDH>I>:K:� 8=6C<:�� 6� G6C9DB>O:9� HIJ9N� 8DBE6G>C<� HDAJI>DC�;D8JH:9� KH�EGD7A:B�;D8JH:9�8D68=>C<�FJ:HI>DCH��9?<8+6�90�%C=/>7/>3-�&2/<+:3/=������ ��� �����

Page 30: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

30!

G6N�� ,�� 2>9:�� &� �� 0>A@:G�� !� � ����� .H>C<� I=:� HDAJI>DC�;D8JH:9� 7G>:;� I=:G6EN� BD9:A� L>I=�7:G:6K:B:CI�<GDJEH�>C�GJG6A�8DBBJC>I>:H��G:H>A>:C8N�6I�>IH�7:HI���9=:3-/��9?<8+6����������������

G6N�� ,�� �� 0>A@:G�� !� � ����� �CDI=:G� ADD@� 6I� 7:G:6K:B:CI� <GDJEH� >C� GJG6A� 8DBBJC>I>:H�� .H>C<�HDAJI>DC�;D8JH:9�7G>:;�I=:G6EN�ID�;DHI:G�G:H>A>:C8N��<3/0� +>>/<=������������

>C<:G>8=�� 0� #�� �� ):I:GHDC�� %� -� �>C� EG:HH�� �;;:8I>K:C:HH� D;� HDAJI>DC�;D8JH:9� 7G>:;� I=:G6EN�� ��HNHI:B6I>8�FJ6A>I6I>K:�G:K>:L�D;�8DCIGDAA:9�DJI8DB:�HIJ9>:H�+:H:6G8=�>C�,D8>6A�0DG@�)G68I>8:�

!:9I@:��%�� ������96.381�7/79<3/=�38�-98@/<=+>398��$/7/7,/<381�:<+->3-/=�38�,/</+@/7/8>�1<9?:=��>HH:GI6I>:�.C>K:GH>I:>I�->A7JG<�

!:>H:C7:G<������ ��'D7:AEG>?HL>CC66G�KDDG�&2/�-</+>398�90�;?+8>?7�7/-2+83-=���!:C9G>@H�� #�� �� !DD<9J>C�� ��%�� ������� &:9>86B:CI:JO:� 7:=6C9:A>C<� 7>?� GDJL� "C� #� K6C� 9:C��DJI�� )�� �D:A:C� �� #� 9:� $:>?H:G� ��9H��� �/2+8./6381==><+>/13/G8� ,34� 1/-97:63-//<./� <9?A� /8�@/<63/=@/<A/<5381��EE����������!DJI:C���D=C�,I6;A:J�K6C�%D<=JB�

!DD<=:�� �� � ����� +DJL� K6CJ>I� <:O>CHI=:G6E:JI>H8=:� 7:C69:G>C<� 3 G>:;� ;GDB� 6� ;6B>AN� I=:G6EN�6EEGD68=4�"C�&6:H�#��/@/8�7/>�1/73=�2DG<�H66B��E�����Y������

!DD<=:���� � �����,NHI:B:C�DC9:G�9GJ@�� GDJL�:C�K:GA>:H� 3�6B>A>:H�JC9:G�EG:HHJG:��<G>:;�6C9� ADHH4��+8.,9/5�=C=>//7>2/<+:3/��E�����Y�������:�->?9HIGDDB�

"H:76:GI��%�� �����#<+5>345,9/5��":69==381=1/<3-2>/�-9183>3/@/�>2/<+:3/�.IG:8=I���:�->?9HIGDDB�"IO=6@N��!��� %>EH8=>IO��+� � �����!DE:�6H� 6� HIG6I:<N� >C� HJE:GK>H>C<� HD8>6A�LDG@:GH� D;� I:GB>C6AAN� >AA�E6I>:CIH���/+6>2�+8.�%9-3+6�)9<5�� �������������

#DC<�� )� 9:� �� �:G<�� "$� � �������/� 5<+-2>� @+8� 9:69==381/8� �� �+8.A34D/<� @99<� 9:69==381=1/<3-2>/�1/=:</5=>2/<+:3/�,L:IH���2:>IA>C<:G��%>HH:�

#DG96C��#�+����':>B:N:G��+���� ������D:H�<G>:;�8DJCH:A>C<�LDG@���/+>2�%>?.3/=�� ������Y����$:>?H:G�� #� 9:� �����6��%9-3+6/� =>/?8� /8� :<90/==398/6/� ,/1/6/3.381� ,34� <9?A�� )GD:;H8=G>;I�.C>K:GH>I:>I�.IG:8=I�

$:>?H:G�� #� 9:�� �D:A:C�� )�� �� /6C� 9:C� �DJI�� #� ������� ,8=G>?;DE9G68=I:C�� I=:G6E:JI>H8=:� G>IJ:A:C��HNHI::B>CI:GK:CI>:H��8G:6I>:K:�I=:G6E>:�:C�6C9:G:�>CI:GK:CI>:H�"C�#�K6C�9:C��DJI��)���D:A:C���#� 9:�$:>?H:G� ��9H����/2+8./6381==><+>/13/G8� ,34� 1/-97:63-//<./� <9?A� /8� @/<63/=@/<A/<5381� �EE���������!DJI:C���D=C�,I6;A:J�/6C�%D<=JB�

$:>?H:G��#�9:���D:A:C��)�����/6C�9:C��DJI��#� �������/G6<:CA>?HI�+DJL� "C��#�K6C�9:C��DJI��)���D:A:C� �� #� 9:� $:>?H:G� �G:9��� �/2+8./6381==><+>/13/G8� ,34� 1/-97:63-//<./� <9?A� /8�@/<63/=@/<A/<5381���E���������!DJI:C���D=C�,I6;A:J�/6C�%D<=JB�

$:>?H:G�� #� 9:�� /6C� 9:C� �DJI�� #� �� �D:A:C�� )�� ������� :8DBEA>8::G9:� GDJL�� @A>C>H8=� 7::A9��8A6HH>;>86I>:� :C� 9>6<CDHI>:@� "C� #� K6C� 9:C� �DJI�� )�� �D:A:C� �� #� 9:� $:>?H:G� ��9H����/2+8./6381==><+>/13//8�,34�1/-97:63-//<./�<9?A�/8�@/<63/=@/<A/<5381��EE� ��� ��!DJI:C���D=C�,I6;A:J�/6C�%D<=JB�

$:>GH:�� �� ��������/6:/8� ,34� @/<63/=� /8� @/<.<3/>�� �/8� 13.=� @99<� 2/>� 1/D38� /8� ./� 2?6:@/<6/8/<��->:AI��%6CCDD�

$:>GH:������ ����(381/<+0.<?5�@+8�@/<.<3/>��)99<./8�@+8�,/79/.31381��->:AI��.>I<:K:G>?�%6CCDD�$:>GH:�� ��� �� $JNE:G�� &�� � ����� $3-2>6348� $9?A� /:GH>:� � /"$��� /:G:C><>C<� K6C� "CI:<G6A:�$6C@:G8:CIG6��LLLDC8DA>C:CA��

$A6HH�����,>AK:GB6C��)�+����'>8@B6C��,�%���������98>38?381�,98.=��!/A�?8./<=>+8.381=�90�1<3/0�)=>A69:AE=>6��-6NADG�6C9��G6C8>H�

��7A:G�+DHH�����������"8�./+>2�+8.�.C381�':L�1DG@��,EG>C<:G�%:� �:K:G:� 9:� -:C� !DK:�� &� � ����� �9<>/� &2/<+:3/�� �+8.6/3.381� ,34� 2/>� ��<?1=� 9./6�� @99<�:=C-29>2/<+:3/�7/>�//8�>9/:+==381�9:�538./</8�/8�4981/</8�%:JK:C�E:A9DDGC�� 6G6CI�

%>C9:B6CC�� �� ������� Z-=:� HNBEIDB6IDAD<N� 6C9�B6C6<:B:CI� D;� 68JI:� <G>:;[��7/<3-+8� �9?<8+6� 90�#=C-23+><C���������������

&6:H��#�� ������/@/8�7/>�1/73=���+8.,9/5�9@/<�<9?A��<9?A,/1/6/3.381�/8�<9?A>2/<+:3/��)3417++6��/?@/8��2DG<�,66B�

&>AA:G�� �����:�,=6O:G��,� �������!6K:�NDJ�=:6G9� I=:� A6I:HI�67DJI��,DAJI>DC�;D8JH:9� I=:G6EN�6H�6�GJBDG���+736C�#<9-/==������������������

Page 31: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

31!

&DGG>HDC��)�� � ������68>A>I6I>C<� ;6B>AN�� ;G>:C9H�6C9�8DBBJC>IN� IG6CH>I>DCH� I=GDJ<=� I=:�:ME:G>:C8:�D;�ADHH��"C��&�&8�AA>HI:G��:9��%96?>398��9-?==/.�!?<=381��$/>2385381�#<+->3-/�)6A<G6K:��&68B>AA6C���6H>C<HID@:��EE������ �

':>B:N:G�� +� �� � ����� ,:6G8=>C<� ;DG� I=:� B:6C>C<� D;� B:6C>C<�� G>:;� I=:G6EN� 6C9� I=:� EGD8:HH� D;�G:8DCHIGJ8I>DC��/+>2�%>?.3/=�� ������Y�����

':>B:N:G��+��� � �� �� /+8381� </-98=><?->398�+8.� >2/�/B:/<3/8-/�90� 69==�06H=>C<IDC���B:G>86C�)HN8=DAD<>86A��HHD8>6I>DC��

':>B:N:G�� +� �� � ����� +:�HIDGN>C<� ADHH�� �DHI:G>C<� <GDLI=� >C� I=:� EDHIIG6JB6I>8� C6GG6I>K:� "C� %��6A=DJC� 6C9� +� -:9:H8=>� ��9H��� �+8.,995� 90� :9=>><+?7+>3-� 1<9A>2�� $/=/+<-2� +8.� :<+->3-/�&6=L6=��'#��%6LG:C8:��GA76JB�

':>B:N:G�� +� �� � ����� 0>9DL=DD9�� <G>:;� 6C9� I=:� FJ:HI� ;DG� B:6C>C<�� �� C6GG6I>K:� E:GHE:8I>K:� DC�G:H>A>:C8:� "C����6GG�� +�&�':HH:�� ���� ��0DGIB6C� ��9H����+>/� 630/�A3.9A299.� 38� >2/�'83>/.�%>+>/=��EE� �Y � ��':L�1DG@��,EG>C<:G�

':>B:N:G��+���� �����+:8DCHIGJ8I>C<�B:6C>C<�>C�7:G:6K:B:CI�"C�0�06IHDC�����$>HH6C:���9H����+8.,995�90�:=C-29>2/<+:3/=�38�-+8-/<�-+</�':L�1DG@��0>A:N�

'DA:C�!D:@H:B6��,� � ����� GDLI=�6C9� G:H>A>:C8:�6BDC<�7:G:6K:9�E:DEA:H� "C��#�� >AA=6B���9��-=:�,8>:C8:�D;�(EI>B>HB���!DE:�$/=/+<-2�/==+C=�38�2989<�90� +<>38���#��%/6317+8��E������ ���)=>A69:AE=>6��-:BEA:IDC��DJC96I>DC�)G:HH�

)6G@:H���&����� ���/</+@/7/8>��=>?.3/=�98�1<3/0�38�+.?6>�630/�':L�1DG@��"CI:GC6I>DC6A�)G:HH�)>:G8N���)��%>E8=>@�������$>H:G����� �����&>AA:G�6C9��:�,=6O:G[H�6GI>8A:�DC�\��BDI>DCH�>C�HDAJI>DC�;D8JH:9�I=:G6EN]��+736C�#<9-/==������ �� ���

)G><:GHDC�� ! �� !DGDL>IO�� &#�� #68D7H�� ,��� )6G@:H�� �&�� �HA6C�� &�� DD9@>C�� $�� +6E=6:A�� ���&6GL>I�� ,#�� 0DGIB6C�� ��� ':>B:N:G�� +��� �DC6CCD�� �� �AD8@�� ,��� $>HH6C:�� ��� �D:A:C�� )��&6:G8@:G����� %>IO���-�� #D=CHDC�� # �� �>GHI��&�����&68>:?:LH@>��)$�� � �����)GDADC<:9�<G>:;�9>HDG9:G��)HN8=DB:IG>8�K6A>96I>DC�D;�8G>I:G>6�EGDEDH:9�;DG��,&�/�6C9�"������#�9%� /.3-38/��������:����� ��

,8=JI�� !� ���� �� "71++8� 7/>� ./� .99.� @+8� ./� :+<>8/<�� �00/->/8� 9:� 1/D98.2/3.�� �00/->/8� @+8�<9?A,/1/6/3.381���BHI:G96B��-=:H>H�)J7A>H=:GH�

,8=JI�� !�� ,IGD:7:�� &�� K6C� 9:C� �DJI� #�� �� -:G=:<<:C� &� � ����� -=:� :;;>868N� D;� 7:G:6K:B:CI��+8.,995�90��/</+@/7/8>�$/=/+<-2�� -98=/;?/8-/=�� -9:381�+8.� -+</��06H=>C<IDC���)��� �������������

,>BDC��#��� �����%96?>398�09-?=/.�:<+->3-/�38�/8.�90�630/�+8.�1<3/0�-9?8=/6381��':L�1DG@��,EG>C<:G�,:A><B6C�� &�)�� �� �H>@HO:CIB>=6AN>�� &� � ����� )DH>I>K:� EHN8=DAD<N��C� >CIGD9J8I>DC� �7/<3-+8�#=C-296913=>�����������

,DAJI>DC��D8JH:9��G>:;�-=:G6E>:��HHD8>6I>DC�&</+>7/8>� +8?+6� 09<�)9<5381�A3>2� �8.3@3.?+6=� �����LLLH;7I6DG<��

,IGD:7:��&���,8=JI��!��������-=:�9J6A�EGD8:HH�BD9:A�D;�8DE>C<�L>I=�7:G:6K:B:CI��+6I>DC6A:�6C9�9:H8G>EI>DC��/+>2�%>?.3/=�� ������Y ��

-:9:H8=>�� + �� �6A=DJC�� % � � ����� )DHIIG6JB6I>8� <GDLI=�� 8DC8:EIJ6A� ;DJC96I>DCH� 6C9� :BE>G>86A�:K>9:C8:�#=C-296913-+6��8;?3<C������������

/6C�9:C��:G<��&�� �����$9?A/8�38�./�>34.�.IG:8=I��.>I<:K:G>?�-:C�!6K:�/6C�9:C��DJI��#��������(/<63/=1/,/?<>/83==/8�38�+>><3,?>3/�>2/9</>3=-2�:/<=:/->3/0��:A;I���7JGDC�/6C�9:C��DJI��#���D:A:C��)����$:>?H:G��#�9:��������+DJL�"C�#�K6C�9:C��DJI��)���D:A:C���#�9:�$:>?H:G� ��9H����/2+8./6381==><+>/13/G8�,34�1/-97:63-//<./� <9?A�/8�@/<63/=@/<A/<5381� �EE�������!DJI:C���D=C�,I6;A:J�K6C�%D<=JB�

0=>IBDG:��#����� ���9+-2381�09<�:/<09<7+8-/�%DC9DC��'>8=DA6H��G:6A:N�0DD9H��$���DC9�����!JBE=G:N��'��,NB:H��0��� G::C��%� � �����%C=>/7+>3-�$/@3/A�90�%96?>398��9-?=/.��<3/0�&2/<+:C��%��&��A3>2��236.</8�+8.��+7363/=�%DC9DC���:E6GIB:CI�;DG��9J86I>DC�

0DG9:C�� #0� ������� �<3/0� �9?8=/6381� +8.� 1<3/0� >2/<+:C�� +� 2+8.,995� 09<� >2/� 7/8>+6� 2/+6>2�:<+->3>398/<�� C9�:9��':L�1DG@��,EG>C<:G��

0DGIB6C������ �����)DHIIG6JB6I>8�<GDLI=��EGD<G:HH�6C9�EGD7A:BH�#=C-296913-+6��8;?3<C�������������

Page 32: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

32!

�>?A6<:����/G6<:CA> ?HI�+DJL� � F����./��/34=/<�����@+8�./8��9?>��#���9/6/8��������:�KDA<:C9:�KG6<:C�<66C�DK:G�JL�G:68I>:�DE�=:I�K:GA>:H�K6C�::C�KDDG�J�9>:G766G�E:GHDDC�0>AI�J�=:I�6CILDDG9�66C@GJ>H:C�96I�=:I�7:HI:�L::G<::;I�=D:�J�O>8=�9:�6;<:ADE:C�B66C9�DK:G�=:I�6A<:B::C�=::;I�<:KD:A9��

� � CDD>I��

O:A9:C��

HDBH��

K66@��

6AI>?9��

���

�6I� =>?O>?� DK:GA:9:C� >H�� KD:A� >@� 6AH� ::C�E:GHDDCA>?@:� G6BE� D;� K:GLD:HI:C9:�:GK6G>C<�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

��

"@� 9:C@� ODK::A� 66C� =:B=66G� 96I� =:I�BD:>A>?@� KDDG� B:� >H� DB� 9:� 9>C<:C� I:� 9D:C�9>:�>@�CDGB66A�9D:�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

!:G>CC:G>C<:C�66C�=:B=66G�B6@:C�B:�K6C�HIG::@�

(� (� (� (� (�

���

"@�@6C�O>?C=66G�9DD9�C>:I�66CK66G9:C� (� (� (� (� (�

���

"@� KD:A� ::C� O::G� HI:G@� K:GA6C<:C� C66G�=:B=66G��

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@� KD:A� B:� C66G� EA66IH:C� :C� 9>C<:C�ID:<:IGD@@:C� 9>:� K:G76C9� =DJ9:C� B:I�=:B=66G��

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@�@6C�:G�C>:IH�66C�9D:C��B66G�>@�7:C�7DDH�DK:G�O>?C=66G�9DD9�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@� @6C� C6JL:A>?@H� <:ADK:C� 96I� =>?O>?�DK:GA:9:C�>H�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@� KD:A� B:� K:G7>?HI:G9� D;� K:G9DD;9� DK:G�O>?C=66G�9DD9�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

����

,>C9H�=>?O>?�DK:GA:9:C�>H��K>C9�>@�=:I�BD:>A>?@�DB�B:CH:C�I:�K:GIGDJL:C�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

����

,>C9H�=>?O>?� DK:GA:9:C� >H��=:7� >@�=:I�<:KD:A�96I� >@� C>:I�B::G� DB� 6C9:G:C� @6C� <:K:C� D;�KD:A� >@� 6;HI6C9� IDI� 9:� B:CH:C� DB� L>:� >@�<::;�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

� ��

"@� =:7� E>?C� DE� 9:O:A;9:� EA66IH:C� >C� B>?C�A>8=66B�� D;� >@� =:7� 9:O:A;9:� �O>:@I:��HNBEIDB:C�6AH�=>?O>?�=69�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

����

"@� 9D:� 6AA:H� DB� B66G� C>:I� 66C� =:B=66G�=:G>CC:G9�I:�LDG9:C�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

����

"@� K>C9�=:I� A:K:C� A::<�:C� ODC9:G� 7:I:@:C>H�ODC9:G�=:B=66G�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

Page 33: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

33!

����

"@�=DDG�O>?C=66G�HI:B�I:<:C�B>?�EG6I:C� (��

(��

(��

(��

(��

����

"@�O>:�=:B=66G�KDDG�B:�HI66C� (��

(��

(��

(��

(��

����

"@�KD:A�B:�6AHD;�>@�K:G9DD;9�7:C�H>C9H�=>?O>?�DK:GA:9:C�>H�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

����

"@�K>C9�=:I�C>:I�::GA>?@�96I� >@�CD<� A::;� I:GL>?A�=>?O>?�9DD9�>H�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

����

"@� KD:A� B:� 7>II:G� <:HI:B9� DK:G� O>?C=66G�9DD9��

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@� 7:C� ?6AD:GH� DE� 6C9:G:C� 9>:� C>:I� ::C�9>:G76G:�=:77:C�K:GADG:C�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@� =:7� =:I� <:KD:A� 96I� 9:� ID:@DBHI� <::C�7:I:@:C>H�D;�9D:A�=::;I�ODC9:G�=:B=66G�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

��

"@� KD:A�B:� ::CO66B� H>C9H� =>?O>?� DK:GA:9:C�>H�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@�=:7�=:I�<:KD:A�96I�B>?C�A:K:C�6AA::C�B66G�H6B:C�B:I�=:B=66G�O>CKDA�@6C�O>?C�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@� =:7� =:I� <:KD:A� 96I� ::C� 9::A� K6C� B>?�H6B:C�B:I�=:B=66G�>H�<:HIDGK:C�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@� =:7� =:I� <:KD:A� 96I� 9DDG� O>?C=66G�DK:GA>?9:C� B>?C� 7::A9� K6C� 9:� L:G:A9�HIJ@<:HA6<:C�>H�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@�7:C�=:I�<:KD:A�K6C�K:>A><=:>9��K:GIGDJL:C�D;�8DCIGDA:�@L>?I�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

"@� KD:A� B>?� <:HE6CC:C�� EG>@@:A766G� D;�H8=G>@68=I><�H>C9H�O>?C=66G�DK:GA>?9:C�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

���

&>?C� ;JC8I>DC:G:C� DE� =:I� L:G@�� >C� HD8>66A�DEO>8=I�D;�DE�6C9:G:�7:A6C<G>?@:�<:7>:9:C�>H�I:C�<:KDA<:� K6C� O>?C=66G� DK:GA>?9:C�:GCHI><�K:GOL6@I�

(��

(��

(��

(��

(��

�6��

&>?C�HA66E�>H�HA:8=I� (��

(��

(��

(��

(��

�7��

"C9>:C�9:�HA66E�K66@�D;�6AI>?9�HA:8=I�>H��>H�9>I�DCIHI66C�C6�O>?C=66G�DK:GA>?9:C�

(�?6��

(�C::��

�%::;I>?9���?66G� :HA68=I��B6CKGDJL���6CI6A�B66C9:C�H>C9H�DK:GA>?9:C���� � B66C9:C�(K:GA:9:C�E:GHDDC�>H��(� E6GIC:G� (� 7GD:G�(� ODDC� (� OJH�

Page 34: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

34!

(� 9D8=I:G� (� KG>:C9�(� K69:G� (� KG>:C9>C�(� BD:9:G� (� 6C9:GH��C6B:A>?@����,8DG>C<�:C�CDGB:G>C<�/G6<:CA>?HI�GDJL�,8DG:�K6C�9:�KG6<:C���IB� ��DEI:AA:C� �CDD>I�� ����O:A9:C�����HDBH�� �� �K66@� ����6AI>?9� ����/DDG�>I:B� �6�<:A9I�6AA::C�::C�H8DG:���D;���>C9>:C�=:I�>I:B� �7�B:I�Z?6[�>H�7:6CILDDG9�-DI66A�H8DG:G6C<:����Y������'DGB:G>C<��IDI66AH8DG:�������<:8DBEA>8::G9:�GDJL��7:=6C9:A>C9>86I>:�IDI66AH8DG:�������:GCHI><�<:8DBEA>8::G9:�GDJL�������������������������������������

Page 35: Dat ik je mis. Oplossingsgerichte therapie bij rouw.pdf

�&6G?6��D77:A66G� ����������������������������6I�>@�?:�B>H���(EADHH>C<H<:G>8=I:�-=:G6E>:�7>?�+DJL!

35!

�>? A6<:� ��)GDEDH:9��>6<CDHI>8��G>I:G>6�;DG�)GDADC<:9� G>:;��>HDG9:G�>C�I=:��>6<CDHI>8�6C9�,I6I>HI>86A�&6CJ6A�D;�&:CI6A��>HDG9:GH���I=�:9����6I:<DGN��:;>C>I>DC����K:CI�8G>I:G>DC��:G:6K:B:CI��ADHH�D;�6�H><C>;>86CI�DI=:G���� ,:E6G6I>DC� 9>HIG:HH� -=:� 7:G:6K:9� E:GHDC� :ME:G>:C8:H� 6I� A:6HI� DC:� D;� I=:� ;DAADL>C<� HNBEIDBH��L=>8=�BJHI�7:�:ME:G>:C8:9�96>AN�DG�ID�6�9>HIG:HH>C<�DG�9>HGJEI>K:�9:<G::��^�"CIGJH>K:�I=DJ<=IH�G:A6I:9�ID�I=:�ADHI�G:A6I>DCH=>E�^�"CI:CH:�;::A>C<H�DG�:BDI>DC6A�E6>C��HDGGDL��DG�E6C<H�DG�<G>:;�G:A6I:9�ID�I=:�ADHI�G:A6I>DCH=>E�^�1:6GC>C<�;DG�I=:�ADHI�E:GHDC����D<C>I>K:��:BDI>DC6A��6C9�7:=6K>DG6A�HNBEIDBH�-=:� 7:G:6K:9� E:GHDC� BJHI� :ME:G>:C8:� ;>K:� �DG� BDG:�� D;� I=:� ;DAADL>C<� HNBEIDBH� 96>AN� DG� ID� 6�9>HIG:HH>C<�DG�9>HGJEI>K:�9:<G::��^��DC;JH>DC�67DJI�DC:[H�>9:CI>IN��:<��GDA:�>C�A>;:��9>B>C>H=:9�H:CH:�D;�H:A;��;::A>C<�I=6I�6�E6GI�D;�DC:H:A;�=6H�9>:9��^��>;;>8JAIN�688:EI>C<�I=:�ADHH�^��KD>96C8:�D;�G:B>C9:GH�D;�I=:�G:6A>IN�D;�I=:�ADHH�^�"C67>A>IN�ID�IGJHI�DI=:GH�H>C8:�I=:�ADHH�^��>II:GC:HH�DG�6C<:G�G:A6I:9�ID�I=:�ADHH�^��>;;>8JAIN�BDK>C<�DC�L>I=�A>;:��:<��B6@>C<�C:L�;G>:C9H��EJGHJ>C<�>CI:G:HIH��^�'JB7C:HH��67H:C8:�D;�:BDI>DC��H>C8:�I=:�ADHH�^��::A>C<�I=6I�A>;:�>H�JC;JA;>AA>C<��:BEIN��6C9�B:6C>C<A:HH�H>C8:�I=:�ADHH�^��::A>C<�HIJCC:9��96O:9��DG�H=D8@:9�7N�I=:�ADHH����JG6I>DC�6I�A:6HI�H>M�BDCI=H�;GDB�I=:�DCH:I�D;�H:E6G6I>DC�9>HIG:HH��� "BE6>GB:CI� -=:� 9>HIJG76C8:� 86JH:H� 8A>C>86AAN� H><C>;>86CI� 9>HIG:HH� DG� >BE6>GB:CI� >C� HD8>6A��D88JE6I>DC6A��DG�DI=:G�>BEDGI6CI�6G:6H�D;�;JC8I>DC>C<��:<��9DB:HI>8�G:HEDCH>7>A>I>:H����+:A6I>DC�ID�DI=:G�B:CI6A�9>HDG9:GH�,=DJA9� CDI� 7:� 7:II:G� 688DJCI:9� ;DG� 7N� B6?DG� 9:EG:HH>K:� 9>HDG9:G�� <:C:G6A>O:9� 6CM>:IN� 9>HDG9:G�� DG�EDHIIG6JB6I>8�HIG:HH�9>HDG9:G��'DI:��GDB�\)GDADC<:9� G>:;��>HDG9:G��)HN8=DB:IG>8�/6A>96I>DC�D;��G>I:G>6�)GDEDH:9� ;DG��,&�/�6C9�"������]�7N�! �)G><:GHDC��&#�!DGDL>IO��,��#68D7H���&�)6G@:H��&��HA6C��$� DD9L>C�����)$�&68>:?:LH@>�� �����)%D,�&:9>8>C:��������E����������������