De

ku

nst

van

he

t o

verl

eve

nIn

pa

kke

n e

n w

eg

we

zen

he

t b

lijf

t a

ltijd

ee

n g

ed

oe

. W

at g

aat

m

ee

, w

at n

iet?

Vo

or

ee

n w

inte

rsp

ort

vaka

nti

e v

an

ee

n w

ee

k is

he

t g

ed

oe

te

ove

rzie

n.

Da

n b

elt

ze

me

mo

bie

l.

Me

t d

e t

ele

foo

n in

mijn

ne

k e

n o

p m

ijn o

or

zoe

k ik

on

de

rgo

ed

en

so

kke

n. Z

e z

eg

t d

at z

e n

u e

ch

t g

aat.

Hal

f lu

iste

ren

d e

n in

pak

ken

d h

oo

r ik

haa

r h

yste

risc

he

ste

m a

an. S

uss

en

d e

n v

ou

we

nd

dri

ng

t h

et

maa

r

lan

gza

am d

oo

r. M

ijn v

rie

nd

in g

aat

we

g n

aar

haa

r th

uis

lan

d. N

aar

he

t la

nd

van

haa

r o

ud

ers

me

t zo

n e

n B

BQ

op

he

t st

ran

d. O

f ik

tijd

en

s d

e w

inte

rsp

ort

mijn

mo

nd

wil

ho

ud

en

te

ge

n w

ed

erz

ijdse

Ho

llan

dse

vri

en

de

n.

Dat

kan

ik, e

n d

at d

oe

ik. Z

ie v

ee

lkle

uri

ge

jass

en

vo

orb

ij sk

iën

en

ho

or

ho

em

pap

a e

n t

rala

la. Z

ach

tje

s g

lij ik

van

he

llen

de

vla

kke

n d

oo

r e

en

sn

ee

uw

lan

dsc

hap

. Me

t e

en

sp

oo

r va

n h

en

die

van

mij

gaa

n e

n z

ijn g

eg

aan

.

Ee

rst

mijn

sc

ho

on

vad

er

en

nu

éé

n v

an m

ijn b

est

e v

rie

nd

inn

en

. Ne

de

rlan

d b

lijft

to

ch

ee

n t

we

ed

e p

lek.

Hu

n h

arte

n k

lop

pe

n e

rge

ns

and

ers

vo

ller

en

rijk

er.

Ne

de

rlan

d, m

ijn N

ed

erl

and

? E

en

hal

f la

nd

vo

or

allo

ch

ton

en

en

au

toc

hto

ne

n?

Pas

de

laat

ste

jare

n v

iel h

et

mij

op

dat

de

me

est

e v

rie

nd

en

ee

n k

leu

rtje

he

bb

en

. Mijn

man

is N

ed

erl

and

s/Sp

aan

s e

n d

aar

no

oit

zo

me

e

be

zig

. Mijn

leve

n m

et

he

n is

vo

ller

en

rijk

er,

ik v

oe

l me

bij

he

n m

ee

r th

uis

. Bij

mijn

man

kan

je n

og

we

l

iets

bu

ite

nla

nd

s zi

en

do

or

zijn

zw

arte

haa

r m

aar

verd

er

is h

ij H

olla

nd

s la

ng

. Daa

r w

aar

ik d

rie

we

ken

gin

g

kam

pe

ren

gin

g h

ij ze

s w

eke

n n

aar

zijn

Sp

aan

se f

amili

e a

ldaa

r. V

erd

er

he

b ik

er

oo

k n

oo

it z

o b

ij st

ilge

staa

n

dat

ik g

ee

n d

oo

rsn

ee

Ne

de

rlan

de

r b

en

. Al d

oe

t d

e b

uit

en

kan

t n

iets

an

de

rs v

erm

oe

de

n.

Va

n D

uit

se d

ien

stb

od

e to

t N

eder

lan

dse

hu

isv

rou

wLu

ise

An

na

Be

rth

a N

eu

man

n k

wam

als

ne

ge

nti

en

jari

g m

eis

je u

it h

et

arm

e R

uh

rge

bie

d n

aar

Ne

de

rlan

d

om

als

Du

its

die

nst

me

isje

te

we

rke

n in

de

hu

ish

ou

din

g b

ij e

en

Ho

llan

dse

me

vro

uw

. Mijn

om

a h

oo

rt t

ot

de

ee

rste

ge

ne

rati

e g

asta

rbe

ide

rs d

ie a

ls jo

ng

me

isje

tu

sse

n 1

92

0-1

95

0 in

gro

ten

ge

tale

naa

r N

ed

erl

and

kwam

en

om

te

we

rke

n. Z

oal

s ve

le a

nd

ere

n v

est

igd

e z

ij zi

ch

blij

ven

d n

a e

en

hu

we

lijk

me

t e

en

Ne

de

rlan

de

r.

Zij

voe

gd

e z

ich

zo

nd

er

pro

ble

me

n n

aar

de

nie

uw

e s

ame

nle

vin

g. A

lth

ans,

to

t d

e D

uit

se in

val i

n m

ei 1

94

0.

Ik h

eb

mijn

om

a e

r n

oo

it o

ver

ge

ho

ord

. Nie

t o

ver

teru

gve

rlan

ge

n n

aar

haa

r la

nd

, nie

t o

ver

dis

crim

inat

ie e

n

nie

t o

ver

de

Tw

ee

de

We

reld

oo

rlo

g. M

issc

hie

n o

md

at ik

de

jon

gst

e b

en

van

alle

kin

de

ren

van

haa

r d

och

ters

,

maa

r m

ijn o

ma

was

nie

t e

rg s

pra

akza

am. H

aar

dri

e d

och

ters

we

rde

n g

eb

ore

n t

ijde

ns

de

be

zett

ing

sjar

en

.

Loe

ki, H

ann

a e

n E

rica

(m

ijn m

oe

de

r). O

ok

mijn

mo

ed

er

is n

iet

erg

sp

raak

zaam

, ze

ker

nie

t o

ver

haa

r je

ug

d.

Als

kin

d w

ee

t je

nie

t b

ete

r d

an d

at o

ma

ee

n g

rap

pig

e t

on

gva

l he

eft

dat

he

t n

iet

he

el t

of

is o

m D

uit

s te

zijn

tijd

en

s b

ep

aald

e v

oe

tbal

we

dst

rijd

en

. Op

de

mid

de

lbar

e s

cho

ol h

eb

ik o

ng

ezo

nd

ve

el g

ele

zen

ove

r d

e

Twe

ed

e W

ere

ldo

orl

og

. Dan

kzij

he

t E

CI-

lidm

aats

chap

van

mijn

ou

de

rs, e

en

paa

r K

on

salik

s va

n m

ijn m

oe

de

r

en

de

en

cycl

op

ed

ie d

ie n

aast

mijn

kam

er

op

de

gan

g s

ton

d g

ep

arke

erd

.

Tijd

en

s d

e g

esc

hie

de

nis

les

sch

aam

de

ik m

e v

oo

r m

ijn b

lon

de

har

en

, bla

uw

e o

ge

n e

n D

uit

se a

ch

terg

ron

d.

En

Du

its

gin

g m

e w

el e

rg g

em

akke

lijk

af. Z

oal

s h

et

Spaa

ns/

Ital

iaan

s b

ij m

ijn m

an.

My fath

er-in

-law Jo

sé V

ivas-Sainz g

ot o

n a b

us to

loo

k for b

ette

r ec

on

om

ic c

han

ce

s in th

e N

eth

erlan

ds

som

e tim

e d

urin

g th

e 19

60

s. He

was d

rop

pe

d o

ff at a b

oard

ing

ho

use

to e

at and

slee

p w

ith h

is co

mp

a-

triots. H

e fo

un

d w

ork in

a Ne

dal fac

tory, w

he

re h

e staye

d u

ntil h

is retire

me

nt. H

e sp

eaks g

oo

d D

utc

h w

ith

a he

avy Span

ish ac

ce

nt, w

hic

h h

e says is th

e m

ain c

ause

of h

is stagn

ation

at wo

rk. He

was o

ften

taken

for

be

ing

du

mb

er th

an h

e re

ally is. Bu

t pe

rhap

s this w

as also c

on

ven

ien

t for th

e e

mp

loye

rs.

José

has fu

nn

y ane

cd

ote

s abo

ut th

e fo

od

, we

athe

r and

me

ntality in

the

Ne

the

rland

s. His d

ivorc

e fro

m h

is

Du

tch

wife

rem

ains a d

iffic

ult to

pic

to th

is day. M

y fathe

r-in-law

is a real fam

ily man

and

wan

ted

to take

go

od

care

of b

oth

his fam

ily in th

e N

eth

erlan

ds an

d h

is family in

Spain

. Bu

t time

passe

d an

d e

veryth

ing

ch

ang

ed

, as thin

gs d

o. H

e g

ot stu

ck in

the

ham

ster w

he

el an

d o

nly g

ot to

go

ho

me

in h

is min

d. To

Spain

,

wh

ere

eve

ryon

e w

as exp

ec

ting

him

to visit w

ith a b

eau

tiful fam

ily and

gre

at we

alth, e

xpe

rien

ce

s and

sto-

ries. To

settle

do

wn

in h

is ow

n d

ream

parad

ise. In

a ho

use

ne

xt to h

is sister’s h

ou

se.

As I sit at th

e edg

e of h

is po

ol, I w

ave to m

y father-in

-law’s sister’s fo

rmer h

usb

and

. She su

dd

enly p

assed

away fro

m a b

rain tu

mo

ur years ag

o. B

oth

men

no

w h

ave new

partn

ers. José h

as lived w

ith h

is Du

tch g

irl-

friend

in h

is ho

me u

nd

er the Sp

anish

sun

since h

is retiremen

t. Th

e tom

atoes d

o taste b

etter there th

an h

ere.

Th

e gra

ss is less green

tha

n b

ack

then

I have less ap

preciatio

n fo

r sun

ny p

laces and

their b

enefits. P

erhap

s this is d

ue to

my co

oler g

enes. M

y mo

ther

has an

un

derstan

dab

le interest in

her ro

ots. Sh

e has ch

arted m

y father’s fam

ily tree, bu

t mo

st of h

er research

has b

een ab

ou

t her m

oth

er’s family h

istory. Ju

st a few sm

all gen

eration

al steps b

ack, I can trace m

y ancestry

thro

ug

h P

olan

d to

Ru

ssia. I seem to

feel no

desire fo

r oth

er family ties, fo

od

or tem

peratu

re.

I do

, ho

wever, h

ave a yearnin

g fo

r adven

ture an

d a rich

er life. Luise N

eum

ann

sou

gh

t her o

wn

way. N

o H

eimat

rom

ance, n

o m

isun

dersto

od

talent an

d n

o m

edd

ling

in o

ther p

eop

le’s bu

siness. Sh

e left ho

me w

hen

she w

as

nin

eteen an

d w

as a lot m

ore en

terprisin

g an

d w

iser than

peo

ple ten

ded

to b

e in th

e 196

0s. Sh

e wo

uld

smile

at wo

rds like d

iscrimin

ation

, eman

cipatio

n an

d in

tegratio

n. Sh

e died

in h

er sleep at V

an Sw

ind

enstraat 124

in

Utrech

t. Th

at little ho

use w

as always an

exotic p

lace for m

e. My g

rand

mo

ther w

as a real collecto

r of so

aps,

wrap

pin

g p

aper an

d lo

vely din

nerw

are. Everythin

g sh

e had

kept in

her life I fin

d b

eautifu

l, mo

re beau

tiful th

an

thin

gs fro

m th

e 1970

s, ‘80

s and

‘90

s. Becau

se it is old

and

wo

rn, fu

nctio

nal an

d stu

rdy. I w

ou

ld h

ave liked to

have w

rapp

ed u

p h

er wh

ole h

ou

se, as oth

ers mig

ht a co

un

try. To th

is day, I co

uld

draw

the p

lace from

mem

ory.

Th

e gard

en g

ate, the d

oo

rbell, th

e kitchen

, the sh

ed an

d th

e silly little gard

en, th

e living

roo

m, th

e stairs and

the th

ree bed

roo

ms. N

on

e of it h

ad ever ch

ang

ed, acco

rdin

g to

my m

oth

er. A n

ew b

icycle, wh

ich h

ad b

een

placed

on

the first fl

oo

r for safekeep

ing

du

ring

the w

ar, stoo

d as a silen

t witn

ess to h

er wo

rds.

Van

Swin

de

nstraat 124

in U

trec

ht is m

y ho

me

land

and

co

ntain

s my g

rand

mo

the

r’s he

art. It was a p

aradise

wh

ere

I co

uld

pic

k de

licio

us fru

its and

go

on

adve

ntu

res w

hile

the

family h

ad c

off

ee

. My g

rand

mo

the

r

and

I had

few

co

nve

rsation

s bu

t I have

un

de

rstoo

d h

er n

on

eth

ele

ss. Life is n

ot ab

ou

t natio

nal b

ord

ers, it’s

abo

ut p

eo

ple

. You

mu

st no

t let yo

urse

lf be

he

mm

ed

in b

y cu

lture

, co

un

try or h

eritag

e. Yo

ur le

gac

y is wh

at

you

carry w

ithin

you

of th

ose

wh

o h

ave g

on

e b

efo

re yo

u.

Afte

r han

din

g o

ut th

e c

ream

pie

s, José

step

pe

d in

to h

is Ho

nd

a. He

had

cram

me

d it fu

ll of stu

ff an

d n

ow

dro

ve in

on

e g

o to

his h

ou

se in

Po

zo E

strec

ho

the

ne

xt day. H

is girlfrie

nd

follo

we

d a d

ay later b

y airplan

e.

His so

n an

d I w

ere

left w

ith a g

arage

full o

f thin

gs an

d h

is gran

dso

n in

my arm

s.

My g

irlfrien

d w

ill go

to h

er islan

d w

ith h

er so

n in

Sep

tem

be

r. He

r hu

sban

d w

ill follo

w su

it in M

arch

and

will

leave

be

hin

d h

is son

and

an ad

op

ted

dau

gh

ter fro

m a p

revio

us m

arriage

. Th

at’s ho

w th

ing

s are n

ow

adays.

So

urc

es: • H

eim

at in H

ollan

d : D

uitse

die

nstm

eisje

s 192

0-19

50

/ Barb

ara He

nke

s. Am

sterd

am: B

abylo

n-D

e G

eu

s, 19

95

.-35

2p

. Grad

uate

the

sis at the

Un

iversity o

f Am

sterd

am • H

et g

eslac

ht N

agte

gaal in

en

ron

do

m U

trec

ht. H

.K.

Nag

teg

aal en

J. Nag

teg

aal • Foto

grafi

e V

an Sw

ind

en

straat: 199

4

Gem

eng

de

gev

oel

ens

Fotografi

e en

tek

st: M

ireill

e Nag

tegaa

l D

esign:

Ann

eloes B

erns

8 9

De

ee

rste

on

du

ide

lijke

ve

rhal

en

ove

r ve

rze

t e

n o

f je

fam

ilie

go

ed

/fo

ut

was

in d

e o

orl

og

ko

n ik

mo

eili

jk

pe

ilen

. De

ou

dst

e d

oc

hte

r va

n L

uis

e h

ad h

aar

vad

er

zie

n a

fvo

ere

n o

nd

er

be

ge

leid

ing

van

ee

n g

ela

de

n

pis

too

l na

de

be

vrijd

ing

. Op

a M

ein

de

rt h

ee

ft e

en

paa

r d

age

n g

eva

ng

en

ge

zete

n. L

oe

ki w

as e

r to

t o

p d

e

dag

dat

de

arc

hie

ven

in D

en

Haa

g o

pe

n g

ing

en

van

ove

rtu

igd

dat

haa

r va

de

r fo

ut

was

ge

we

est

. De

dri

e

zust

ers

mo

est

en

on

de

r o

ge

n z

ien

dat

hu

n v

ade

r al

lee

n e

en

Du

itse

vro

uw

had

ge

tro

uw

d e

n d

at d

it g

en

oe

g

was

om

he

m t

e a

rre

ste

ren

, na

ee

n t

ip v

an d

e b

ure

n. Z

o g

ing

dat

in d

ie t

ijd.

José

Viv

as-S

ain

z m

oe

t e

rge

ns

in d

e ja

ren

ze

stig

in e

en

bu

s g

est

apt

zijn

op

we

g n

aar

me

er

ec

on

om

isc

h

ge

luk

in N

ed

erl

and

. Daa

r w

erd

hij

me

t la

nd

ge

no

ten

bij

ee

n p

en

sio

n a

fge

zet

om

te

ete

n e

n t

e s

lap

en

.

In N

eder

lan

d k

on

hij

aan

het

wer

k in

een

fab

riek

. Mijn

sch

oo

nva

der

hee

ft t

ot

aan

zijn

pen

sio

en b

ij d

e N

edal

in e

en f

abri

ek g

ewer

kt. H

ij sp

reek

t g

oed

Ned

erla

nd

s m

et e

en z

waa

r Sp

aan

s ac

cen

t. D

it z

iet

hij

als

bel

ang

rijk

-

ste

oo

rzaa

k vo

or

de

stag

nat

ie in

zijn

on

twik

kelin

g. H

ij w

erd

vo

or

do

mm

er g

ezie

n d

an h

ij is

. Maa

r m

issc

hie

n

kwam

dit

we

rkg

eve

rs o

ok

we

l go

ed

uit

. Jo

sé k

an g

rap

pig

e a

ne

kdo

tes

vert

elle

n o

ver

he

t N

ed

erl

and

se

ete

n, h

et

we

er

en

on

ze m

en

talit

eit

. De

ec

hts

ch

eid

ing

van

zijn

Ne

de

rlan

dse

vro

uw

blij

ft t

ot

op

de

dag

van

van

daa

g e

en

mo

eili

jk g

esp

reks

on

de

rwe

rp. M

ijn s

ch

oo

nva

de

r is

ee

n e

ch

te f

amili

em

an e

n w

ilde

go

ed

vo

or

zijn

ge

zin

in N

ed

erl

and

zo

rge

n e

n z

ijn f

amili

e in

Sp

anje

. Maa

r d

e t

ijd v

ers

tre

ek

en

alle

s ve

ran

de

rde

zo

als

dat

gaa

t. S

ton

d h

ij st

il in

zijn

tre

dm

ole

n e

n k

wam

alle

en

th

uis

in g

ed

ach

ten

. In

Sp

anje

waa

r ie

de

ree

n h

em

verw

ach

tte

me

t zi

jn p

rac

hti

ge

ge

zin

en

rijk

do

mm

en

, erv

arin

ge

n e

n v

erh

ale

n. O

m n

ee

r te

str

ijke

n in

zijn

ze

lf

ge

dro

om

de

par

adijs

. In

ee

n h

uis

naa

st h

et

hu

is v

an z

ijn z

ust

er.

Als

ik o

p d

e r

and

van

zijn

zw

em

bad

zit

, zw

aai i

k n

aar

de

man

van

mijn

sc

ho

on

vad

ers

zu

ste

r. Z

ij is

jare

n

ge

led

en

plo

tskl

aps

ove

rle

de

n a

an e

en

he

rse

ntu

mo

r. B

eid

e m

ann

en

he

bb

en

ee

n v

rie

nd

in. J

osé

wo

on

t si

nd

s

zijn

pe

nsi

oe

n m

et

zijn

Ne

de

rlan

dse

vri

en

din

in z

ijn S

paa

nse

hu

is o

nd

er

de

zo

n. D

e t

om

ate

n s

mak

en

daa

r

ind

erd

aad

be

ter

dan

hie

r.

Het

gra

s is

min

der

gro

en d

an

to

enIk

be

gri

jp d

e z

on

nig

e o

ord

en

en

hu

n w

eld

aad

min

de

r g

oe

d. M

issc

hie

n k

om

t d

it d

oo

r m

ijn k

oe

lere

ge

ne

n.

Mijn

mo

ed

er

he

eft

ee

n v

erk

laar

bar

e in

tere

sse

in h

aar

roo

ts. Z

ij h

ee

ft n

iet

alle

en

de

sta

mb

oo

m v

an m

ijn

vad

ers

kan

t u

itg

ep

loze

n, m

aar

zic

h v

oo

rnam

elij

k ve

rdie

pt

in d

e g

esc

hie

de

nis

van

haa

r m

oe

de

r. V

ia e

en

paa

r

kle

ine

ge

ne

rati

est

apje

s g

a ik

dan

te

rug

via

Po

len

naa

r R

usl

and

. He

rke

n e

ch

ter

ge

en

ve

rlan

ge

n n

aar

and

ere

fam

ilie

ban

de

n, e

ten

en

te

mp

era

tuu

r. W

el e

en

ve

rlan

ge

n n

aar

avo

ntu

ur

en

ee

n r

ijke

r le

ven

. Lu

ise

Ne

um

ann

zoc

ht

haa

r e

ige

n w

eg

. Ge

en

He

imat

-ro

man

tie

k, g

ee

n m

iske

nd

tal

en

t e

n w

ars

van

an

de

rman

s za

ken

.

Ze

ve

rtro

k o

p h

aar

ne

ge

nti

en

de

en

was

ee

n s

tuk

on

de

rne

me

nd

er

en

wijz

er

dan

de

he

le ja

ren

60

bij

elk

aar.

Ze

zo

u g

limla

ch

en

bij

term

en

als

dis

cri

min

atie

, em

anc

ipat

ie e

n in

teg

rati

e. O

verl

ee

d in

haa

r sl

aap

aan

de

Van

Sw

ind

en

stra

at 1

24 t

e U

tre

ch

t. H

et

hu

isje

was

vo

or

mij

ee

n e

xoti

sch

oo

rd. M

ijn o

ma

was

ee

n e

ch

te v

er-

zam

ela

ar, v

an z

ee

pje

s e

n in

pak

pap

ier

tot

de

pra

ch

tig

ste

se

rvie

zen

. Alle

s w

at z

e in

haa

r le

ven

had

be

waa

rd

vin

d ik

mo

oi,

mo

oie

r d

an d

e ja

ren

70

, 80

en

90

. Om

dat

he

t o

ud

en

do

orl

ee

fd is

, fu

nc

tio

ne

el e

n s

tevi

g.

Ik h

ad h

aar

he

le h

uis

we

l will

en

inp

akke

n, z

oal

s an

de

ren

mis

sch

ien

ee

n la

nd

. To

t o

p d

e d

ag v

an v

and

aag

kan

ik d

ie p

lek

uit

teke

ne

n. H

et

tuin

he

kje

, de

de

urb

el,

de

ke

uke

n, d

e s

ch

uu

r e

n h

et

mal

le t

uin

tje

, de

wo

on

-

kam

er,

de

tra

p n

aar

bo

ven

en

de

dri

e s

laap

kam

ers

. On

vera

nd

erd

vo

lge

ns

mijn

mo

ed

er.

Ee

n n

ieu

we

fie

ts

die

vo

or

de

ze

kerh

eid

tijd

en

s d

e o

orl

og

op

de

ee

rste

ve

rdie

pin

g w

as g

ep

laat

st s

ton

d d

aar

als

still

e g

etu

ige

van

haa

r w

oo

rde

n.

De

Van

Sw

ind

en

stra

at 1

24 in

Utr

ec

ht

is m

ijn v

ade

rlan

d m

et

he

t h

art

van

mijn

om

a. E

en

par

adijs

waa

r ik

pra

ch

tig

e v

ruc

hte

n k

on

plu

kke

n e

n o

p a

von

tuu

r g

ing

als

de

fam

ilie

ko

ffie

dro

nk.

Mijn

om

a h

ee

ft m

aar

we

inig

me

t m

ij g

esp

roke

n m

aar

ik h

eb

haa

r b

eg

rep

en

. He

t le

ven

gaa

t n

iet

ove

r la

nd

sgre

nze

n m

aar

ove

r

jou

. Je

mo

et

je n

iet

late

n le

ide

n d

oo

r c

ult

uu

r, la

nd

of

erf

go

ed

. Je

erf

en

is is

wat

je m

ee

dra

agt

van

de

pe

r-

soo

nlij

khe

de

n d

ie je

vo

or

zijn

ge

gaa

n.

Na

he

t u

itd

ele

n v

an s

lag

roo

mta

artj

es

stap

te J

osé

in z

ijn H

on

da.

Pro

pte

die

th

uis

vo

l me

t sp

ulle

n e

n r

ee

d d

e

volg

en

de

dag

in é

én

ru

k d

oo

r n

aar

zijn

Hu

is in

Po

zo E

stre

ch

o. Z

ijn v

rie

nd

in v

olg

de

ee

n d

ag la

ter

me

t h

et

vlie

gtu

ig. Z

ijn z

oo

n e

n ik

ble

ven

ac

hte

r m

et

ee

n g

arag

e v

ol s

pu

llen

en

zijn

kle

inzo

on

in m

ijn a

rme

n.

Mijn

vri

en

din

ve

rtre

kt in

se

pte

mb

er

me

t h

aar

zoo

n n

aar

haa

r e

ilan

d. H

aar

man

vo

lgt

in m

aart

en

laat

hie

r

zijn

zo

on

en

ee

n g

ead

op

tee

rde

do

ch

ter

ach

ter

uit

ee

n e

erd

er

hu

we

lijk.

Zo

gaa

t d

at d

an in

on

ze t

ijd.

Bro

nn

en

: •

He

imat

in H

olla

nd

: D

uit

se d

ien

stm

eis

jes

192

0-1

95

0. B

arb

ara

He

nke

s. A

mst

erd

am:

Bab

ylo

n-D

e G

eu

s, 1

99

5.-

35

2p

. Pro

efs

ch

rift

Un

ive

rsit

eit

van

Am

ste

rdam

. • H

et

ge

slac

ht

Nag

teg

aal i

n e

n r

on

do

m U

tre

ch

t. H

.K. N

agte

gaa

l en

J.

Nag

teg

aal •

Fo

tog

rafi

e V

an S

win

de

nst

raat

: 19

94

Mix

ed feelin

gs

Th

e art o

f surv

ival

Pa

ckin

g fo

r a trip

is alw

ays a

ha

ssle. H

ow

do

es o

ne

de

-c

ide

wh

at to ta

ke a

nd

wh

at to le

ave

be

hin

d? Fo

rtun

ately,

I’m ju

st pa

ckin

g fo

r a o

ne

-we

ek w

inte

r ho

lida

y. An

d th

at’s w

he

n sh

e c

alls m

e o

n th

e m

ob

ile.

I ho

ld th

e p

ho

ne

be

twe

en

ne

ck an

d sh

ou

lde

r wh

ile c

on

tinu

ing

to lo

ok th

rou

gh

my u

nd

erw

ear an

d so

cks.

She

says she

’s really le

aving

this tim

e. H

alf listen

ing

, half p

ackin

g, I h

ear h

er h

ysteric

al voic

e. A

s I soo

the

he

r wh

ile c

on

tinu

ing

to fo

ld c

loth

es, it slo

wly sin

ks in: m

y frien

d is g

oin

g b

ack to

he

r ho

me

co

un

try. To th

e

land

of h

er p

aren

ts with

the

sun

and

be

ach

barb

ec

ue

s. Can

I ple

ase n

ot te

ll ou

r mu

tual D

utc

h frie

nd

s du

r-

ing

the

win

ter h

olid

ay? I can

, and

I do

. I see

mu

ltico

lou

red

jacke

ts ski past an

d h

ear th

e b

rou

hah

a of h

app

y

voic

es. I g

en

tly slide

do

wn

slop

ing

hillsid

es th

rou

gh

a sno

wy lan

dsc

ape

. Carryin

g trac

es o

f pe

op

le w

ho

are

leavin

g m

e o

r have

left alre

ady. First m

y fathe

r-in-law

and

no

w o

ne

of m

y be

st frien

ds. T

he

Ne

the

rland

s

stays be

hin

d as a se

co

nd

plac

e. T

he

ir he

arts be

at som

ew

he

re e

lse, fu

ller an

d ric

he

r.

Ho

lland

, my H

ollan

d –

half a co

un

try for b

oth

imm

igran

ts and

native

s? It’s on

ly rece

ntly th

at I eve

n re

alised

that m

ost o

f my frie

nd

s see

m to

have

a som

ew

hat d

arker co

mp

lexio

m little

colo

ur in

the

ir faces. M

y hu

s-

ban

d, fo

r on

e, is D

utch

-Span

ish, alth

ou

gh

he

do

esn

’t de

fine

him

self b

y his fo

reig

nn

ess. M

y life is fu

ller an

d

riche

r with

the

m, I fe

el m

ore

at ho

me

with

the

m. M

y hu

sban

d m

ay have

black h

air, bu

t he

’s tall as a Du

tch-

man

. Wh

en

I we

nt cam

pin

g fo

r thre

e w

ee

ks, he

we

nt to

see

his Sp

anish

family fo

r six we

eks. A

t any rate

,

I ne

ver re

ally stop

to th

ink th

at I’m n

ot an

averag

e D

utch

wo

man

, eve

n th

ou

gh

I may lo

ok so

on

the

ou

tside

.

Fro

m G

erma

n m

aid

to D

utch

wife

Luise

An

na B

erth

a Ne

um

ann

cam

e to

the

Ne

the

rland

s from

the

po

or R

uh

r area o

f Ge

rman

y at the

age

of

nin

ete

en

to w

ork as a h

ou

seke

ep

er fo

r a Du

tch

family. M

y gran

dm

oth

er b

elo

ng

s to th

e fi

rst ge

ne

ration

of m

igran

t wo

rkers w

ho

cam

e to

wo

rk he

re in

large

nu

mb

ers b

etw

ee

n 19

20

and

195

0. Like

man

y oth

ers,

she

settle

d p

erm

ane

ntly afte

r marryin

g a D

utc

hm

an. Sh

e sm

oo

thly in

teg

rated

into

he

r ch

ose

n so

cie

ty un

til

the

Ge

rman

invasio

n o

f May 19

40

turn

ed

life u

psid

e d

ow

n.

My g

rand

mo

the

r has n

eve

r spo

ken

to m

e ab

ou

t this. N

ot ab

ou

t lon

gin

g fo

r he

r ho

me

land

, no

t abo

ut b

ein

g

disc

rimin

ated

again

st and

no

t abo

ut th

e w

ar. Mayb

e th

is is be

cau

se I’m

the

you

ng

est o

f all the

ch

ildre

n o

f

he

r dau

gh

ters, b

ut I d

on

’t rem

em

be

r my g

rand

mo

the

r be

ing

partic

ularly talkative

. He

r thre

e d

aug

hte

rs

– Lo

eki, H

ann

a and

Eric

a (my m

oth

er) –

we

re b

orn

du

ring

the

oc

cu

patio

n. M

y mo

the

r hasn

’t be

en

very

forth

co

min

g e

ithe

r, esp

ec

ially abo

ut h

er c

hild

ho

od

. I gu

ess all yo

u kn

ow

as a ch

ild is th

at Gran

dm

a has a

fun

ny ac

ce

nt an

d th

at it’s no

t exac

tly co

ol to

be

Ge

rman

du

ring

ce

rtain fo

otb

all gam

es. In

hig

h sc

ho

ol

I read

an u

nh

ealth

y amo

un

t abo

ut th

e Se

co

nd

Wo

rld W

ar than

ks to m

y pare

nts’ m

em

be

rship

of th

e b

oo

k

clu

b E

CI, a fe

w K

on

salik no

vels o

wn

ed

by m

y mo

the

r and

the

en

cyc

lop

aed

ia parke

d n

ext to

my ro

om

in

the

hallw

ay. Du

ring

histo

ry lesso

ns, I w

as asham

ed

of m

y blo

nd

hair, b

lue

eye

s and

Ge

rman

bac

kgro

un

d.

An

d I w

as a little to

o g

oo

d at G

erm

an. Ju

st like m

y hu

sban

d at Sp

anish

/Italian.

Th

e fi

rst vagu

e sto

ries ab

ou

t resistan

ce

and

wh

eth

er yo

ur fam

ily was am

on

g th

e g

oo

d o

r the

bad

gu

ys in

the

war w

ere

diffi

cu

lt for m

e to

ge

t my h

ead

arou

nd

. Luise

’s old

est d

aug

hte

r had

see

n h

er fath

er take

n

away b

y a man

with

a load

ed

gu

n afte

r the

libe

ration

. Gran

dp

a Me

ind

ert w

as imp

rison

ed

for a fe

w d

ays.

Loe

ki had

be

en

co

nvin

ce

d th

at he

r fathe

r had

do

ne

som

eth

ing

wro

ng

righ

t up

to th

e d

ay that th

e arc

hive

s

in T

he

Hag

ue

we

re o

pe

ne

d. T

he

n th

e th

ree

sisters h

ad to

face

the

fact th

at the

on

ly bad

thin

g th

eir fath

er

had

do

ne

was to

marry a G

erm

an w

om

an –

and

that th

is, tog

eth

er w

ith a tip

from

a frien

dly n

eig

hb

ou

r,

had

be

en

en

ou

gh

to h

ave h

im arre

sted

. It was ju

st the

way th

ing

s we

re b

ack th

en

.

10 11

Photography and text: Mireille N

agtegaal D

esign: Anneloes B

erns

10 11