ARS Report - December 2013

8/13/2019 ARS Report - December 2013

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The A.R.S. ReportPromoting Overall Development for Overall Success

And They Lived Happily Ever After…Or Didthe …

Do your circumstances determine your level of happiness?

A look at this picture and one can see the

amount of frustration in Snow White’s face.

The caption to this photo should be “If only I

could turn back time...” She looks upset that

her Prince Charming is not helping her in the

care of their castle and their royal children. Sheis left with the task of caring for four children

and a dog while he sits down watching

television with a cold beverage and his feet up,

relaxing. He knows that she is experienced with

the care of a household and children. In his

mind, he is most likely saying, “She can handle

it…after all, didn’t she take care of 7 dwarfs?”

Continued on 4

How Dare You…Are you daring enough to set

boundaries that promote self-

empowerment?

Page 2

Battle of the BulgeWhat should you consider

when trying to overcome “The

Battle of the Bulge”.

Page 5

Future Webinars

Check out our next webinars for

the month….

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Lorem Ipsum Dolor Spring 2016

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YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE, BUDDY!”

When I listen to clients, and I hear that they have voiced

these words to another person, I am delighted to know that

they acknowledge that they have boundary lines they have

set in their lives. Boundaries are those invisible limits that

help to define “What is me” and “What is not me”. In the

case of the above statement, it provides insight into one’s

willingness or unwillingness to accept certain behaviors.

One noted psychologist describes boundaries as invisible property lines that demonstrate ownership like a fence with

a gate. The fence is a physical boundary that is used to

demonstrate ownership of the property. Property owners

may put up warning signs such as, “No solicitation”,

“Beware of Dog”, or “No Trespassing”. These signs give

notice that owners are serious about protecting their

property, and they will not tolerate their boundaries being

crossed. Everyone has the right to create the same invisible

fence by providing non-verbal or verbal warning against

intolerable behavior.

Some may question the need to set limits, especially when

it comes to interaction with those whom they have a

personal or professional relationship. They operate out of

fear and/or guilt, often questioning whether they can still be

approachable or lovable if they are setting limits in their

relationships. Boundaries are

a means of protecting and

taking responsibility for

oneself in response to

requests for time, love,energy, or money. The

person who can assess their

capabilities and knows their

limitations will be able to set

protective and responsiblelimits.

“How Dare You…Dare to BeYOU!”

Fences orWalls

In your relationships, are you

building “Fences” or

“Walls”?

Non-verbal communication

can be one of the best ways of

determining whether fences or

walls are built up in your

relationships. Body language

can communicate

to the other party

whether you are

open to attempts

at communication

or interaction. It

can be a barrier

that informs other

parties of invisible

boundaries that

have been set to

prevent

unwelcomed

contact.



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These boundaries will not be harmful to

themselves or to others. Those who exceed

their limitations, in order to meet the

requests of others, are not taking personalresponsibility for themselves because they

are attempting to give what they do not have

to offer. These individuals sacrifice their

own happiness and peace of mind by

placing themselves in stressful situations in

their effort to please others. Their attempt at

martyrdom will ultimately frustrate them as

they try to blame others for their own lack

of boundary setting.

There are those individuals who have been hurt as a result of not setting

boundaries in their life. These individuals

build up emotional protective walls as an

effort to protect themselves from further

harm. The difference between a fence and a

wall is the ability for the person to receive

what will nurture them in their attempt to

keep out what will harm them. The fence

has a gate that allows for the person to let in

what is nurturing and keep out what isharmful. The beauty of the gate is that it can

swing both ways. The gate allows for the

person to let go of what is harmful in order

to accept what is determined to be good

after further discernment. The wall does not

permit for "good" or "bad" to come in or to

go out from the set perimeters. This creates

emotional strongholds in the person's life.

The barrier that is created does not allow for

the person to develop nurturingrelationships that can increase the quality of

life.

There are individuals who have

experienced personal relationships with

friends or significant others who took

advantage of what they had to offer.

These relationships involved individuals

who overstepped their boundaries and

were harmful.

Those who were harmed often chooseto build an emotional barrier that

barricades them from the world. They

cause themselves to be unable to move

past their experiences. In many cases, they

also become perpetrators of boundarycrossing.

The ability to set boundaries begins

with a personal evaluation of one’s

character. This assessment helps for the

person to understand personal thinking patterns, emotional patterns, ability to plan

permissible behaviors, in addition to likes

and dislikes. This personal appraisal can

cause the person to confront their issues in

various areas of their personality and gain

insight into the consequences of their behavior.

A self-evaluation leads to self-

awareness that allows for outlining of one's boundaries. Those who are self-aware have

the ability to guard themselves against

destructive people and destructive

behavioral tendencies. They will be aware

of those individuals or activities that will

prove to be harmful to them and will set

protective boundaries against those

entities. Self-awareness ultimately

becomes the fence with gates that can open

and close as the person continues to growand evolve through their experiences.

For more information on boundaries

and relationships, attend the “How Dare

You…Dare to be YOU!” webinar.



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There are those who may feel as if aconversation about expectations andlimitations can be unnecessary during

dating the phase of a relationship. It isimportant to have these type ofdiscussions because both parties will beaware of issues that can arise. Eachindividual can make a conscious

decision of hisor herwillingness toaccept theexpectationsand/or

limitations based on the boundariesthey have setfor themselves.The discussioncan lead to acompromisethat can make

both partieshappy or it can lead to the discovery of

barriers that will be a hindrance thecouple’s emotional growth.

Relationship experts agree that whencouples engage in the effectivecommunication and respect of proper

boundaries, the relationship will thrive.Each individual takes responsibility fortheir stake in the relationship and takethe necessary steps to promote growth.Together they work together to build a

relationship that built upon a firmfoundation.

For more discussion oncommunication in relationships, be sureto attend “How Dare You…Dare to Be

YOU!” webinar.

Continued from page 1

The picture demonstrating the domesticated

version of the Snow White fairy tale portraysthe reality of many men and women aftermarriage. The fairy tale never demonstrates theroyal couple’s investment of time, energy, andresources that is necessary for them to live,“Happily EverAfter”. Thepreliminarystep inestablishing asuccessful

relationship istheestablishmentof boundariesthat willoutline theroles andresponsibilitiesof each party.This is acrucial step because it involves a discussion that

will provide insight into the willingness of theparties to take responsibility of themselves andothers. Each person has the opportunity toprovide an understanding of his or her limits.

Snow White and the Prince should haveengaged in a lengthy conversation about theirexpectations and their limits. She should haveinformed him of her need and desire forassistance in the care of the children andmaintenance of the household. He should haveinformed her of his unwillingness or inability toassist her after a long day of running thekingdom. The Prince could have warned herthat the last thing on his mind after performingin the role of a highly ranked governmentofficial is to attend to a sink of dirty dishes,change dirty diapers, and listen to the screamsof wailing children.



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Overcoming Bad Habits to Optimize

HealthEvery year men and women set

personal goals to achieve a set amount of

weight loss for a variety of reasons. Some

are motivated by their health while others

are motivated by their physical

appearance. There are those who are

motivated by achieving a certain body

type that is shown on television. The

underlying key to the motives and

intentions of these individuals and their

ability to achieve their personal goals are

based on the mind.

The brain the central control center of

what we think, say, or do; yet it is the

most neglected part of our body. It is part

of the body that is physically hidden; so

many people take the saying “Out of sight,

Out of mind” literally by not taking into

consideration of how their brain

influences their ability to lose weight. The

decision to lose weight began in mind;

though many do not understand that the

emotional and mental focus to follow

through with that decision can also begin

in the mind.

The brain is influenced by biological,

psychological, and sociological factors

that can ultimately determine our level of

success in achieving our goals.



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Biologically, we

receive signals from

the brain that provides

warning that there is a

need to change some

aspect of our behavior

in order for our body

to get back on track.

Hunger pain is a signal

sent to the brain to

notify the person of a

need that is

determined to be a need to eat. The lack offocus on the meaning of such signals causes

individuals to stop their investigation into the

needs of their body. Hormonal or chemical

imbalances in the brain can impact overall

biological and mental health. These

imbalances can be a determinant in an

individual’s level of weight loss success. An

individual can receive signals that cause them

to believe they are hungry or in need of food but in reality it is signal of a need for comfort.

The person who lacks proper guidance to

address these issues will not know the cause

of these signals. He or she will not know how

to address them during any attempt at weight

loss or weight control. The environment can

also be a determinant in the success of a

weight management plan. Some geographical

areas promote unhealthy lifestyles due to the

variety of unhealthy fast food

restaurants and limited health

food stores.

Although all of these

factors establish the amount

of success of any weight

management plan, the

primary factor in overcoming

the battle of the bulge begins

with the way an individual

thinks. The way a person

thinks will ultimately fuel

his/her motivation to change a

particular behavior. A doctor can warn

an individual of the risks of poor eating

and exercise habits and the potential to

develop a disease that can ultimately

lead to death. This person can receive

the news, become depressed, and

continue the behavior of poor eating

with no exercise or individual can take

the advice and change their behavior in

order to improve their health. This is a

conscious decision to take the necessarysteps to make behavioral changes on a

daily basis.

“The Battle of the Bulge Begins in

the Mind” discusses these issues and as

individuals build a sense of self-

awareness that causes them to become

more mindful of the decisions that are

impacting their health.



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Online Webinar

December 15, 2013

Cost: $25

Register at: www.ars-mhrcs.events/dare2bu



Investment into a Happy Home ShouldBegin Within

There are many who confuse their ability to

provide a happy home with the amount of moneythey are able to invest in building a house. This isan unbalanced assumption that places a dollaramount on an immeasurable concept. There istruth in the old saying, “Home is where the heartis” and true happiness can be found from withindespite an individual’s financial status.

At ARS-MHRCS, we strive to empower ourclients in their understanding of the immeasurablevalue that is found from within. Our goal is to

enhance the overall understanding of human behavior and to promote mental health. Clientslearn the importance of investing in their growth asthey receive relevant information that enhancestheir knowledge of how to achieve overalldevelopment and success in various areas of theirlives.

ARS Report - December 2013

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