Chatter Mom Story

8/2/2019 Chatter Mom Story

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But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the

punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

Prince William and Kate Middleton just got married, by the way. Just in case

you have been living in a deep undersea pod of isolation. Her engagement ring

looks very much like the aquamarine ring my grandparents gave me for my

18th birthday, except hers has a sapphire, a sapphire that looks like it may be

even just a little bit SMALLER than my aquamarine — if you look at it in the

right Hyde-Park sun or in the right tabloid. I like to think Kate and I could be

BFFs what with our blue gems, our brown hair, and the fact we are female and

speak English.

All through college, I kept my birthday ring hidden away in my dorm room, or in

the desk in my sorority house I shared later with two girls, or in the dresser of

the house I had as a senior. I never wore it. I kept it close by, like a secret stash of

Twizzlers. Expensive Twizzlers. Friends would ask to see it. I would pull out the

box and wait, perhaps for a bell to toll or for a disembodied choral ensemble to

sing the Doxology, and then click the lid open.

I wear it more these days. And the more I wear it, the more I wish I had been

wearing it all along.

Even though we are technically in the joyful season of Easter and beyond the

contemplation of Lent, it doesn’t seem right to box up the beauty of Jesus’ sacri-

Chatter

a letter from

Contact Chatter at [email protected].

Chatter is a publication of Irving Bible Church | 2435 Kinwest Pkwy, Irving, TX 75063

(972) 560-4600 | irvingbible.org

EditorJulie Rhodes

Art Direction, Design & Goodness

Josh Wiese, Dennis Cheatham, Lindsey Sobolik

PhotographyPatty Thompson (Three Questions, Four Mothers)Trey Hill (Find Your Spot, A Peculiar People)Amanda Guevara (Easter Eggsperience)

The Big CheeseBill Buchanan

ce. Isaiah tells us our peace with God — our restful state before him and in him

as a beloved, forgiven child — came at a costly price. Punishment brought peace,

nothing less.

Are you stashing away the greatest gift you own? Living in worry, caught up in

distraction, mired in self-obsession? Have peace. Peace is already yours, in a

little black box, sitting in velvet, sparkling, bought and paid for. Take it, own it,

wear it. Others will wonder where you got such a rare gem, such an incredible

freedom of spirit and quiet settled-ness of mind. And you will say from The

Prince of Peace, of course, who is greater than any dude from Wales. Or even

that guy with the purple guitar.

UPDATE: Easter Eggsperience

On Saturday April 23, IBCers and families from the com-munity attended IBC’s annual Eggsperience, an Eastercelebration complete with bounce houses, a pettingzoo, egg hunt, face painting and more — including theEaster Path, a hands-on experience designed to connectkids and parents to the story of Jesus’ crucixion andresurrection.

P h o t o : f i ck r u s er U K _r e p s om e



It’s been said that a mother’s job is never nished, and many

others laugh at the redundancy of the phrase “working mother.”

It’s with these sayings in mind that Chatter would like to honor

the wonderful mothers of Irving Bible Church for their amazing

gifts and sacrices. We decided to sit down with four mothers

to get a little insight into the real world of mothering and asked

these women a few hard questions. Their responses were

humbling and honest.

What doyou fear the most for your children?

My greatest fear for my children is that I will fail to cultivate in them an under-

standing of who they are in Christ and the gifts God has given them. Being an

adoptive mother, I nd that this concept has taken on an even greater level of

importance. My husband and I have a lot of wounds to heal in our children before

we can instill in them a sense of their value within our family and, most importantly,

of their value to God. I believe that if, and only if, we can get our kids to understand

their worth they can achieve the work that God has for them. (Alex)

My greatest fear for my two children with disabilities is their long-term care. When

I am no longer able to care for them, either because of my age or health, or because

I’m no longer here at all, someone else will be responsible for them; and I don’t

know whether that someone else will take that responsibility as seriously as I do.

Whether it be a family member designated in a will or an institution, I can’t expect

any other caregiver’s commitment or integrity or even love to be as intense as mine,

and that scares me. (Amy)

When my children were all under my roof, I tended to fear for their physical safety

the most. The mother bear in me was very protective of them, and I couldn’t imag-

ine how I could live if I lost one of them. That would still be a fear if the Lord hadn’t

dealt with me in the area of my imagination. Most of what we fear never happens,

so we waste a lot of time and emotional energy fretting unnecessarily. Besides, over

and over again in the Scriptures, God commands, ‘Do not be afraid,’ ‘Do not worry.’

It is a trust iss ue — not trusting that nothing bad will ever happen — trust that God’s

grace will be there the moment I need it and it will be sucient. This has been the

biggest and hardest lesson to learn. (Alice)

I fear many things as a mother, but my three main concerns are nances, world

economy and education. The rst two kind of go hand-in-hand since my nances

fear comes from the world economy and what it looks like today and where it’s go-

ing in the future. Will my child have enough money to do what he needs and wants

and be able to retire when he expects to? Lastly is the state of our education system

and where that is headed. I’ve heard talks of possibly taking kindergarten out of the

school and having more children in a class with fewer teachers. Will my child get

the education and attention he needs to thrive? Should I think about private school?

Just all the uncertainty is nerve-wracking! (Emily)

What is the most gratifyingthing about beinga mom?

In my experience, the most gratifying part of being a mom is how it has forced me

to rely on God above all others. When our son was about 18 months old I suered

a miscarriage. This was one of the rst ti mes in my relationship with my husband

that I simply could not be comforted by him alone. I quickly came to the realization

that he would never suer that loss in quite the way I did and, if I’m being honest,

still do. Through my grief and loss, God brought me to a place where I nally under-

stood just how intimately he knows me. Similarly, through becoming a mother, God

has opened my eyes to my need for community with other women. I’ve been blessed

with some amazing friends who understand my struggles and tri umphs, my good

days and my bad. (Alex)

My two children with special needs don’t bring home trophies or good grades; they

can’t say ‘thanks, Mom,’ and they’ll never give me grandchildren. The many oppor-

tunities throughout childhood that enable most children to give back to their moth-

ers — the memories and milestones that tell a mom she’s doing a good job — simply

aren’t available to me. My reassurance comes in knowing that I am within the will

of God (I’ve been outside it, and this is way better, even with the back pain). My joy

comes in the sight of their smiles and the sound of their laughter; they are angels

who can brighten any day. (Amy)

The most gratifying thing about being a mom is watching my children develop into

adults who love and walk with God. I am also gratied to realize that I actually like

and enjoy being around my grown-up children! I will always love them because I am

their mom, but it is a joy to say that I like them, and that I would choose to be around

them even if they weren’t my children. They have become more like young fri ends,

each of them gifted in their own way, so that I nd myself asking their opinion

on a variety of things. When I look back and remember all the times I had to keep

repeating myself, and all the prayers I had to keep praying, and all the nights I fellexhausted into bed, I can say it has all been more than worth it. (Alice)

The most gratifying part about being a mother for me is when I’ve had a stressful

day at work and all I have to do is see his smile and I’m reminded it doesn’t mat-

ter, and the stress just melts away. Just knowing God created him special for my

husband, Tim and me. (Emily)

What advice wouldyou give topeople thinkingof becomingmothers?

Before embarking on the journey of parenthood, I believe the most important thing

to consider is your support system. Entering parenthood is d icult at times even

for the strongest of people and the strongest of marriages. As for those considering

adoption, I think it is i mperative that people consider their motives and their com-

mitment to their whole child. In adopting our daughter, my husband and I have read

more books than I can recall about attaching in adoption and have attended just

about every function that Tapestry has put on in the past two and a half years. Look-

ing back now I can say that adopting our daughter has changed me, my marriage

and our family for the better. It has been the greatest trial and the greatest triumph

God has blessed me with as a mother. (Alex)

Advice for potential moms: get yourself a good village. Whether it’s the butcher, the

baker, or the candlestick maker, your villagers will come to your rescue and en-

hance your child’s life in ways you never imagined. Motherhood has taught me thatthe village is part of God’s design; life works best when it’s shared. ( Amy)

Ifyouarewaitinguntilyoufeel“ready”oruntilyouhaveenoughmoney,youwill

neverbecomeamother.Nothingcanreallyprepareyou,andtherewillneverbe

enoughmoney.SoIsay,if youareina strongmarriage,goforit!Itwill changeyour

lifeforever;itwillbethe hardestthingyoueverdo,butyouwillneverregretit.God

willteachyouthingsyoucouldneverotherwiselearn,muchofit aboutyourself,

butmostofit abouthim,as yourunt

grace.Youwillbeastonishedat theo

andthenyouwillbegintorealizeso

Iwouldalsoadvisebeingintimately

lotsofsupportinthisendeavor,som

yourvaluesandwhowillbe anenco

I would give others the advice I was

have enough time, money, career in

Now is the best time, God willing, an

Special thanks to Kristy Alpert for co

“The moment a chis also born. She nThe woman exist

A mother is some

ALEX HALE (age 27)

Mother of Vaughn, 4 (biological) and Banke, 2 (adopted from Ethiopia)

“I became a mom about ve years ago when I got pregnant with our son Vaughn. Then,

when our son was 20 months old, my husband and I both felt God directing us to adopt.

We began that process when our son was about 20 months old and 17 months later we

welcomed our daughter, Banke, into our family. We are currently in the process of our

second adoption and we plan to grow our family through adoption from here on out.”

AMY SCHUH (age 39)

Mother of Andrew, 15; Hailey, 12; and Adam, 12

“Andrew and Hailey are my birth children from my rst marriage, which ended when

my husband shook seven-week-old Hailey, destroying about 75 percent of her brain. I

‘acquired’ Adam through my second marriage to Don, who adopted Adam as a single father

during Adam’s infancy. Both Hailey and Adam are low-functioning due to multiple severe

disabilities, and Andrew has ‘Acute Teenager Syndrome.’”

ALICE McQUITTY (age 54)

Mother of ve children, ages 30, 27, 24, 21, 18 and a grandmother to two

“I have been a mother for 30 years! I am also the pr oud grandmother of two beautiful

grandchildren. I can’t believe I am that old! As they say, the days were sometimes long,

but the years were short. Still, I don’t think I ever quite gured it all out. Children have

a way of keeping us humble!”

EMILY SNELLING (age 26)

Mother of Ryan, 8 months

“I am a rst-time mom going throu

mother along with being a full-tim

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